If you somehow stopped by tonight
Would I still tell you goodbye?
Tomorrow's not gonna come
And yesterday should have mattered anyway
But today was just another day
And all I did was wish you had stayed

I never should have let you down
I never should have walked into that door
How was I supposed to know
Things were gonna change?

I wanted to be there
To show you I really cared
Somehow tell you these forgotten words
But then I unfolded
I fell down to my knees
And suddenly I knew you weren't there

I never should have said goodnight
I never should have let you walk out that door
How was I supposed to know
Things were gonna change?

Maybe because it was meant to be
And maybe this is how it's gonna be
Torn apart
And all broken up
Fighting for what's left
And trying to remember you

Dear God trying to hold on

I maybe should have come along
I maybe should have said something more
How was I supposed to know
Things were gonna change?

How was I supposed to know
I'd never see you again?

How was I supposed to know
It was going to end so soon?

How were we supposed to know
Living without you would feel like this?

Feeling all kinds of insecurities
that no one seems to get.
And tired of all the questions
about where my life is currently at
and currently not heading.
My life shouldn’t be a question for people.  
It’s not their’s to understand.
I live it at my own pace,
and do what makes me happy.
I don’t have to have it all perfectly laid out
or go by the book.
It doesn’t have to be all pretty.
Because what I learned years ago is something so much more important.
It isn’t about how perfect you live your life.
It’s not about how smoothly everything goes
or how many successes you can add up.
It’s waking up each day seeing the sun shine,
and knowing you get live.
That you chose to live.
That you’ve survived,
and with each breath and every heartbeat,
you are still here.

Another year older,
Another month tugging at the heartstrings.
So many emotions.
Happy, worried, sad, anxious, and happy again.
Everyday a toss of the cards.
I avoided the storms,
Wished upon a few stars,
And prayed to God with all might.  
I watched the movie screen and cried at the scenes.
Missed a few people who have gone on,
And looked back at the last few decades.
My life isn’t perfect.
But why would I want it to be.
At least I’m still here.

It’s been a couple of years,
and here I return.
Heart still longing to write the words afraid to show up.

The marks we make don’t get to come with us when we leave.
They stay with those left behind as stories we wrote,
and pages to be read.
The soundtrack we created hopefully will be played.
And the songs that walked us through,
may they be reminders of who we were.
Not forgotten or lost.
Always there in some simple way.

Feeling all kinds of insecurities
that no one seems to get.
And tired of all the questions
about where my life is currently at
and currently not heading.
My life shouldn’t be a question for people.  
It’s not their’s to understand.
I live it at my own pace,
and do what makes me happy.
I don’t have to have it all perfectly laid out
or go by the book.
It doesn’t have to be all pretty.
Because what I learned years ago is something so much more important.
It isn’t about how perfect you live your life.
It’s not about how smoothly everything goes
or how many successes you can add up.
It’s waking up each day seeing the sun shine,
and knowing you get live.
That you chose to live.
That you’ve survived,
and with each breath and every heartbeat,
you are still here.

His mind’s a mess,
a constant battle between angels and demons.
Nothing ever goes right.
So he comes apart at every seam.
What was once on the outside no longer there.
All fallen into the darkness.