You can try to hide your emotions
Put on a mask that has a painted smile
But the eyes never lie
And a mask has holes to see

i'm not afraid
of becoming older
i don't care
about my hair greying
or my skin getting looser

i'm afraid of sitting
at the kitchen table
staring at the same backyard
the same trees
the same flowers
every single day
while thinking

i wish i had done it

Now I know that “eventually”
will turn to “Now”
and the way we can be-
hand in hand through town, or playing footsie
under the table
Strong hands, soft lips,
feminine and able-
Smiling with teeth and teasing
incessantly-
Hands on waists and watching her, existing,
being her whole self
And so lovely.