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I'm alive,
                            I am dead inside.
I have met every goal,
                          Every hurt feeling,
For which I strive.
                                    I must hide.
I finally feel whole.  
                    Even caged birds sing.
I just feel like I need to cry
for not one
logical reason
as
to
why
 Nov 2018 Mindless wanderer
Iz
My writing does not hit
As hard as it once did
The bullets I shoot from my mouth
They are not nearly as precise
Is it possible
I’m losing my
Ability to
Write
As I sit here in the rain
And think of the things I can't explain
Of the things to come
Of the pain undone

I think of way more than one
But also will it come
When I am done
Will I only feel some
And leave the rest at the end of my run
The pain spared as I drift toward the sun

Will I lose them
Or will they lose me
I thought it to the stem
But still I have to wait and see

I don't know when my time is
Or when when theirs is
But deep down I'm hoping
That them both I'll miss
It will be sarrows innocence kiss
Hearts will be broken
And I fear to feel that open
The only reminder left
Memories token.
As I look across my lifeline
And find that it's all but fine
I wonder what my mind enclined
When I was at that point in time

Things that seemed sense
Now left no evidence
Things I could then explain
Now left in flame
Time has passed
What is now will past
Nothing lasts

Everything has changed
And it requires a new me
I am left deranged
By the thought of who I try to be
The attempts often futile
While,
I be the best me I can currently be
Keep it all inside like it isn't destroying me
Endure the ride wait and see
Find what they call free

I'm honestly sometimes clueless
the pieces of my mind glueless
But I have the endurance to do this.
Love

The kind of love that blinds the eyes and binds the heart.

The kind of love that leaves men bent and broken.

The kind of love that brings us to our knees and tears to our eyes.

The kind of love that draws in the sun and moon.

The kind of love that consumes entire nations.

The kind of love that you can see dancing in her eyes like fire.

The kind of love that blacks out all other feeling.

The kind of love that was lost.

That kind of love,
Your kind of love.
 Nov 2018 Mindless wanderer
Kira
You're in love with her.
She's the kind of soft that makes the sun fall to its knees every evening just to get a closer glimpse.
She's everything that makes a boy believe in god.
How else could he be alive at the same time as her if he didn't?
The odds are too great for there to be any other reason that he gets to make her smile.
That kind of smile that's designed to melt boys like him that i've turned cold.
You thought I was her once.
Speaking of thoughts, do I ever cross your mind sometimes like you cross mine? Even if unintentional?
At night I accidentally love you like no time has passed.
I know it's just my unconscious mind, but while I sleep there's a version of you that loves me still.
You're a dream that I wish wasn't.
So it's the worst kind of accident you could say.
Maybe not accidental if gods real like you believe he is.
My dreams might possibly just be his way of saying "*******".
I saw you tonight

Perhaps it was shame I felt

That I stole glances of

A white spring lily

After I've so esteemed

Weeds littered on the sidewalk
Someone I love(d), just a thought written on a whim
I poured my heart out for you on these pages
Does that prove I am better than the rest?
If I spelled each serious word carefully placed with purpose
Would you care I plucked them straight from my chest?

Dangling from pride by flimsy feeble strings
Pathetic pieces float uncertain and shaking
Hastily tied them to my heart as they arose
Now those timid concerns and domesticated woes are mine for the taking

I keep them close to use only when needed
To project palaces or prisons for my protected thoughts
One by one I pull emotions from inner walls
And other tucked away hiding spots

They burrow further as suffering increases
Yet no matter how deep they dig
I still hear their mournful muffled hum
In my eardrums starting small then growing big

That is the twisted key to my success
Smiling as I spill secret sorrow
Taking others to a place seldom seen
Boundless heights that will move tomorrow

Unburdened yet incomplete without these emotions
Only seem to flourish in fear or agony
I summon these wild feelings from my soul
To show exactly what you mean to me
I can never express the extent of my love for you
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