Anxiety
such a fickle thing
most people
have

NO

idea
I'm even wondering

right now

What do they all THINK?

Even        this     seems hard
Expressing          yourself is HARD
life is              WORSE
life is a  CHORE

To ME
this looks      like        Absolute ****

I'm SORRY
I'm not what you expected...

Hello.
Goodbye.
They see nothing.
I feel nothing.

How are you?
I am fine.
When did that ever matter?

I used to run once,
now I just walk,
I used to care once,
I doubt I ever will.
I used to smile once
I still smile...

Maybe I'm no longer the person you used to know

You'd think I'd have known better
than to listen to people.

But I never said that I knew myself
And my body is a cage
With no way out.

I'd like to leave
Please

Yet my thoughts are restrained
by my skin.

I'm always tearing
and ripping and
scratching at it.

I just keeps growing back.

I don't get vision
Yeah
Sure
I've studied science too

Light through pupil
Image flipped
Produced on retina

But here's the thing?
I don't see the light
I see nothing but darkness
There is nothing ahead
except
the Void

Nothingness.

Let's talk about skin...
Is it?.. a part of my body?
Or more than that?

All a matter of
Interpretation.

Some people think of skin
as
Fragile and easily scarred
Like mine.

Wrapping paper
that decorates
your heart and
Soul.

There are some
with skin
So Tough:
It is impossible to leave marks

I yearn for such skin
where the impressions of cruelty
are unable
to stick
to stay
to ravage
How much more damage
can my skin sustain?
Before it yields
and I spill out.
All over the
Cold
Hard
Floor.

I woke up
Today (so tired)
And I’m…
Not sure what
I’m doing (so very tired)
But I think,
I am thinking?

Am I thinking?
What’s my name?
Who am I?
Why?
What’s the point?
Why am I here?
Can I leave now?

Only
A
Few
Long
Painful
Relentless
Hours till escape

Not rest
Exactly
Just…
Absence
A necklace of rope
Too many down the hatch
Too easy

Sometimes it’s
Better
To be kept
In the dark
Safer and Quieter
Safer but Colder
Safer but Alone

Somewhere where
Light
Doesn’t shine
Doesn’t reveal
Doesn’t destroy
Can I go to sleep now?

A path of words
Thoughts, Choices
Millions and Millions of doors
Which to go through
Who knows?

Put me under the stars
And see me
For who I am
Myself
Alone

Take off this mask
Of smiles
And grins
This suit of armour
That guards
The soul

Sure,
Being trapped
Inside
One’s own mind
Can be
Quite lonesome
But
Has anyone ever wondered
What lurks inside?

I am a breathing contradiction
I am here but
I am insignificant.
I am alive but
Dead inside

Hiding in the dark
Yet
Living in the light

Alone.

Yesterday I tried,
Today I'm trying,
Tomorrow I will try again.

How many times do I have to fail before I give up entirely?

I want it to stop,
but it's not that easy.
People say it is,
but they know
Nothing

It's like you're drowning,
but
breathing
air fills your lungs
but each breath is a chore.

Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale
Exhale
Stop.

Just stop.

I think I've made myself very clear.

But no one came to stop me.

I am tired
of trying.

Trying hurts.
Because I am not good enough.
And I never will be.

That's the end of it.
There's nothing more to say.

What comes to mind
when we think of weapons?
A knife?
A gun?
A bomb?

We've got idiots firing missiles
at each other
left and right,
They seem to have forgotten what
the real weapons are:
Words.

Sure I bet you're wondering.
how much damage
can a word do?
A lot actually...

Forged inside the mind,
Perfected by the brain,
Tipped with emotion
and
Sharpened by the tongue
Fired from the mouth.

I'm not saying all words
are weapons,
some are soft and gentle,
they should be treasured,
they help you to see
what little good is left in this world.

But I am telling you now,
there are words in existence,
that tear you apart,
like wrapping paper,
hoping for a surprise.
Luckily for me, there's not much left.

It takes a minute to make someone's day
And a single word to destroy someone's life.