My heart is a stone
Rolling slowly uphill
At an easy, steady pace
They say life's not a race
They say you're never alone

But it's all just useless, I know
Gravity grips hard with each step
This treacherous ***** grows steep
And helpless, I sow what I've reaped
As I plummet back to the valley below

Pulled two directions by my heart beguiled
I climb, fall, climb, fall, climb and fall again
Still longing for you, for those days long gone
And still trying like hell to get past this, move on
My feeble heart forever stuck in this Sisyphean trial

She lays before me
So enticing
So exciting
Inviting me
To delight in her flavors
To savor her taste
Her hidden treasures
Imparting pleasure
Slowly relishing
Without haste
Her flesh between my lips
Juices flowing, teasing the tip
Of my tongue
With the taste of the one
I'm ravenously craving
Now I'm left satisfied
Raving with joy
Basking in euphoria
Just what I came for
Feeling shameful but blessed
So I have to confess
I'm (mostly) vegetarian
But sometimes I cheat
God, I love a good burger
Can't resist that red meat

Clock says 3:34, Friday afternoon
Waiting for the bell, but it rings too soon
My throat's too parched, butterflies in my stomach
I walk out of class, then I take off running
I hear my voice squeaking, I'm sweating bullets
My heartbeat's racing, I tell myself to cool it
Gotta get myself ready, I'm a nervous wreck
As I put myself out there, stick out my neck
I stroll to her locker, think I'm smooth as butter
Catch her bright gaze, involuntarily I shudder
Never done this before, ****'s scared outta me
So I open my mouth
What's it gonna be?
I squeak out the words
"Will you go out with me?"

No response as she turns back to the metal door
Spins the combination, flicks it back once more
The green rectangle swings open toward me
Now I start to wonder, do I have to repeat?
I quickly say her name, catch her nod from behind
I stare dumbfounded, wish I had a better line
Door slams shut, which way's this gonna go?
She spins then replies...
"Maybe. I don't know."

...Uh, wait, huh? What's that supposed to mean?
I just stare in shock, I feel like I'm turning green
I prepared for the yes, I prepared for the no
But after that answer what the hell do I know?
With a flippant little shrug she brushes right past
Says "I'll catch ya later", disappears into the mass
I'm standing alone, fingers nervously tapping
With a singular thought - What the hell just happened?
I didn't get the yes that I hoped for and expected
And she didn't say no, but I feel pretty **** dejected
Did I get rejected? Well, my ego got bruised
I'm bewildered and perplexed, downright confused
I'm frozen, mystified, as my buddies breeze by
One stops on a dime, spins and looks me in the eye
His expectant look asks a silent yes or no
I just give a little shrug...
"Maybe. I don't know."

They pester me with questions on our long walk home
But I'm totally distracted and I let my mind roam
What does Monday hold in store, will I get an answer?
I feel the panic rising so I join the friendly banter
The weekend creeps by, I'm consumed by my thoughts
Exhausted by the wondering, stomach still in knots
Early Monday morning, confidently stroll to school
But before I reach the door I feel like a **** fool
My eyes scan the grounds and I see where she stands
I spot her...
Another guy...
And their interlocked hands

My jaw drops a foot and I suddenly feel sick
Is she ruthlessly cruel or this a mean trick?
Internally I'm fuming nonstop all day
Externally I'm sweating and the world fades away
It feels like each class is progressively hotter
I ask my last teacher to leave to get some water
The class hears her reply and loses all control
Through the laughter comes her answer...

"Maybe. I don't know."

Once is never
Or at least never enough
Life can be quite tough
But einmal ist keinmal

Let's try something new
See if it rings true
That despite what we do
Einmal ist keinmal

No inhibitions, no regrets
Do what we feel like
And never forget
Though einmal ist keinmal

Take risks, be bold
Don't harden your soul
Nor grow stale and old
Einmal ist keinmal

Live in the present
Be now, be here
Have no fear of the future
Cause einmal ist keinmal

Feel this lightness of being
As if nothing matters
Our significance shattered
Einmal ist keinmal

Sieze the moment
Give it your all
Live life to the fullest
Knowing full well
Einmal ist keinmal

When I feel myself
Beginning to fret
When fear or depression
String me along
The best way to stop it
To jam up the angst
Is to set loose the hands
To break into song

Take note of my thoughts
Tune into my feelings
Pick out a rhythm
And let it ring true
I try but can't quite
Put my finger on why
But my hands 'round this neck
Sure cast out the blues