When I talk you seem to never hear
Yet when he is around you laugh
My worse thoughts have come real I fear

Love is always bitter sweet for their is another
Heart of gold left alone to shatter
For your heart had found another
Like I never even matter

So go on your way
Hold his hand with that lovely smile
I’ll still wait for my day
The day in which I’ll find someone to walk that mile

All alone in your room stuck on your ****
Flicking through that device of yours
Mind stuck in a dump
Since you had been barred from the outdoors

Thinking of all you could be doing with friends
The good times to be had
Taken away leaving you at wits end
Your emotions feeling just a tad bit sad

So, what to do then?
With all this time on one’s hands
No one to talk to since you can’t call the ambulance again
And your brain is going to explode from listening to that band

It’s alright though
Stop worrying so much and look at the clock
As it ticks it will slow down time and save you from death’s blow
Now let’s unlock dream world where you can spacewalk without feeling like a laughingstock

Life’s easier when you go at it more calmly
Letting it go at you like the waves of the ocean
Not worrying about your pants being baggy or that your clumsy
Being the golden showman for all isn’t you, you’d rather be the one that stays hidden

Life's uncertain and full of ups and downs
But the clocks tick will always go on
Full of hatred for yourself only leads to a meltdown
Lie down now and feel that yawn

It’s rough out there and that’s no lie
The battle going on goes through the body and mind
Everything will be alright no need to cry
Stress will make you unwind like twine so relax and put that track on rewind

Worrying about academics is for another time
As of now it’s time to look ahead
Hitting rocks in the oceans hurts but it’s not a crime
Pain from the rocks hurts but you have to keep with the waves

Holding onto the rocks will make you drown
Please let go now
You might feel down now but you must keep on if you want that crown
I may have passed but you have to move on and leave this rock behind

It hurts I know to see me go
But no matter what even with me gone you can count on that clock
The hearts filled with woe since I passed not too long ago
Just know I loved you, now wake up darling and answer that knock

Sun rays hit an empty throne
A throne as empty as the heart of those who sat there
Mountains of pain created by those who tried to atone
A Kingdom in the middle of nowhere

Dust and sand whip through the pillars
Erasing the memories of those before
Buildings that have long been targeted by looters
He tried to help so he would be known as the savior

But now he sits upon a tower
Wondering how he failed
Looking upon the bones of those who trusted him
Every time he breathes, the stench of death is inhaled

If only he could end this torture
But this is his eternal sin to carry
He hid while they were slaughtered
Forced to watch the butchery

Now he sits in his tower
Surrounded by sand and bone
Forever known as the King of nowhere
The now Faded King sitting upon his throne

Life feels so long, With so many feeling wrong
Dozens of people with self-hate, trying to find someone to date
Life’s string ready to snap, Young and old souls ready to go
They have nothing to show, For too long they’ve felt like crap

But you’re strong, You’re allowed to carry on
They’ll notice if your gone, Even if you’ve done wrong
Why should you die, And say goodbye
Life’s shorter then we know, Even when it feels slow

Giving up feels so easy, Like it’ll set us free
Ending it feels right, So were finally out of sight
No more mistakes, lonely nights full of heartache
Thoughts of failure no more, From this soul so poor

Break their heart in inches, Break it all
His love always felt small, So you gave yourself bruises
Frostbite making me feel, These cuts never allowed to heal
We stay away from people, Deep down inside we’re evil

Words never said, Between us laying on that bed
Eyes of brown with no care, making me shed a tear
He must have liked me I thought, Otherwise what was the point
In hurting myself without a second thought, I guess I just live to disappoint

But we are strong, Even when we fail
Skin turning pale, Life’s not long
For us to die here, upon hate’s triumphant spear
So pick yourself up little one, Right now life’s not done

Pick your chin up and look around, All these faces gone if you drowned
Smiles and warmth near and far, Hundreds of voices letting you know you’re a star
Live on for them if not for you, With time your heart shall no longer be in two
Love will heal the pain you’ve been burying, But if you leave you’ll never find anything

What am I saying, I’m just delaying
I can’t even follow my own advice, Walking a life of vice
So go on with yourself, See if you find life far back on the shelf
I’ll just sit here, Rotting away year after year

Another night filled with ash and snow
An old man next to a fire with no home
Yet he sits still singing alone
Hoping for others to throw him a bone

Oh young ones wouldn’t you care to listen
Listen to an old man's advice
To some I’m known as leviathan
Although those people probably aren’t alive

But sit around my fire now
I’ll give you some wasteland advice
On what your deeds can sow
If your willing to pay the price

Money, power, love, revenge, tradition
They all mean the same really
Bunch of people with a mind that’s troubled
Bringing up old ideas with a thought of reinvoking

“We will build out of the ashes of the old”
“A new world meant for the survivors”
“Old masters destroyed because we weren’t meant to obey”
“WE ARE NO LONGER THE SLAVES BUT THE OWNERS”

Such lies are shouted often and loud
Good intentions no doubt
But to bring peace and order, blood must be shed
Hopes of being the hero must be doused

In the wasteland your supposed to become more
Yet we’re shackled to the past
Leaders promising they have the key to a locked door
Vowing that to **** the old you must sign the pact

Industries of sin run on blood and dust
Shiny lights counting down to a payout
Behind smoke and mirrors you find lust
All of this guarded by puppets pulled by a payroll

So young ones, what will you do
Denounce the past and try to be greater
Embrace sin and forsake moral duty
In the end you will die with no gravestone

But that’s just what I have to say
I’m only an old man with no home
Maybe we will meet another day
On that day I will judge your sins

Living in a world of stone
Darkness all around
Constant threats making you alone
Chains of hate keeping you bound

Then you heard her cries
A women of beauty
Suddenly you didn’t want to die
Deep in your heart you had found your duty

Protect the girl is what you told yourself
This girl was tantalizing and sweetness incarnate
She needed protection, nothing else
But her hair and eyes made those borders evaporate

Talking over and over
Spending days with this fair elf
A girl with skills that made her a charmer
But surely you couldn’t actually love her

Your a monster plain and simple
Every time you leave your throne of stone
Whenever they insult, you just crumple
Hiding away in the dark trying to atone

You failed before
So why wouldn’t you again
Give her back monster
You will hurt her

We are knights of a valiant order
Trusted heroes of the realm
She’ll be safe under our banner
Evil cannot penetrate our helm

Monster please come back
You were my only friend
They’re gonna execute this pyromaniac
I’m just like you monster, i’m a fiend

These knights tried to **** me
And defile my purity
But you saved me from them
Please rescue me, you were the only one that made me comfy

Time is running out my sweet orc
The axe shall soon strike
As these tears drip down my face
I can be happy that you loved me for not being ladylike

I’m not a monster
I remember who I was
All my honor was lost in the war along with my brothers
A knight of the realm who respected all laws

But I wasn’t human
An order of orc knights had to be erased from history
I survived and was scarred in mind and body
Adrift in the dark until I met that maiden

It’s alright now my little pyro
Me and you shall live together
No monster or fiend
A little elf saved from the guillotine

I love you orc
And I love you pyro
Should we run away?
Only if we do it together

Just sit in the shower
Let the warm water run
Hide and cower
Life’s no fun

You can’t make others laugh
You can’t help others heal
You can’t succeed
But you do fail at love

Sit in the shower
No failing anyone there
Your life doesn’t matter
This heart is past repair

Why should I keep trying
Why should I leave this place
Why should I be alive
But you should stay here

When I talk no one laughs
It all goes silent
Leaving me feeling absent

The voices say they hate me
The voices say I am an impostor
The voices tell me I should leave

Where would I go
Everywhere I look i’m so alone
Coldness down to the bone

Maybe the voices are right
Maybe love and friends are out of sight
Maybe everythings not alright

Tears running down my cheeks
I’ll never be the one who speaks

Keep crying in the shower
Keep being the failure that you are

They all do it better
That’s why I sit in the shower

You talk too much
You want his touch

I can’t be strong
He needs a pillar
And i’m crumbling

Touch is what I crave
Next to him hand in hand
Love setting sail on a wave

But i’m not good enough

That’s why your in the shower

With these shower thoughts

When we all die
Each one of us returns to the sky
Another constellation
In the galaxies composition

Floating along the stars
In this creation of ours
A twinkle every night
To help you when your in fright

If your afraid in the dark
Look above for my spark
To let you know I’m there
That I’ll always care

Spaceman floating so alone
Look above to feel your known
Each nova burning for you
No matter what you do

All of my stories have been told
Except for one
In this universe so cold
Look above and I’ll be your sun

The wind is nice today
Plus it’s raining and the rain was always nice
When I got depressed or angry the rain would calm me down
But today it can’t help, it can’t help me anymore

I remember when it wasn’t this bad
They told me I was so happy and full of life
Marie said she loved my smile
She said she would be gone for awhile

But here I am all alone
On the greatest day ever known
It was only yesterday that I got the letter
The letter said Marie was dead in the gutter

It’s good though, life is all fine
I have great friends who love me
Well that was before they all found love
I understand why they left, after all we have to grow up at some point right?

I guess I never did
That’s why Marie left me the way she did
She didn’t want to break my heart
But it’s fine everything is fine

I stand here in the rain wanting it to do something
It helped before why not now
I just want someone to tell me they won’t leave
A family is all I want

But I suppose that the best day for what I have planned
Is the happiest day for most
I hope that others will be happy
While I tie this noose and step off this post

Hello again person who reads these
Last time I did a poem like this
A lot of people got worried
And I guess people are still worried

I like to name these thoughts
Because thoughts always circulate
Circulating like water through a dam
Only problem is that the thoughts don’t give energy

I am bad at talking sometimes for no reason
And others I just can’t shut the **** up
My emotions change depending on the season
All of my happiness draining into a broken cup

Here I am with everyone staring at me
Wondering if i’m close
If I hate being me
Wishing I looked more like a rose

Another thought that I have
Is what is love really
And I won't ever achieve it
Just thinking i’ll find love makes me feel silly

People worry that I will cut again
They say that they love me
I will be missed if I were to leave
But what if leaving will help clear the pain

Feeling selfish is a constant factor
I think of things that make my heart quicken
Blood feels hot and people treat me like an actor
I wonder if later on I will drink then

Thoughts of ending
Dreams of living
Waking up breathing heavily
Never looking lovely

Maybe I will be famous
In the end it doesn’t matter
The older generations will blame us
For a world they left in tatters

I think I'm going to stop now
See you when I see you
You’ll probably see me at my all time low
But for now let’s be happy instead of being blue

Where am I?
Why am I in this bed?
And why am I in a hospital room?

The air is cold as ice
These blankets feel like home
Back then I was sick, mom would feed me rice

If I’m in the hospital, someone should be here
Maybe if I say something, people will appear
“Hello?”

****, no response back
I should look around more
Oh is that food? I could use a snack

It’s rice in a bowl
I move my spoon around with it hitting metal
The metal is an amulet with the words “My baby’s soul”
My mom had a similar bracelet with her until I lost it in a gamble

I was going to tell mom I lost it
But she… never returned home
Reports say that they never found the culprit

I.. I need to leave this place
Why is the floor covered in newspapers?
Every paper is filled with my face
Why are there no authors?

Come to think of it, why are the walls just like my bedrooms walls?
Covered with posters of the Detroit Lions
And the picture of my mom graduating nursing school

Wait.. There's a mirror on the wall
I never had a mirror as a child
Looking into it shows me a man standing on a bridge about to fall

He’s wearing my Highschool jersey number
And his wrists are bleeding
His face is so full of regret and anger

Are my wrists okay…
They're covered in cuts and scars
These cuts are dark red on my dark gray skin

I.. Should have left already
Time to open this door and leave
Door opens to a dark night with air that is chilly

I walk through the void doorway
A step forward leads to me falling
Looking up to see a bridge getting farther and farther away
A girl is there with a phone that is calling

She looks so much like my friend Sam
But she keeps getting farther and farther away
Until my body hits the water with a slam
A single letter falls on my chest with the single word “Gay”

Something warm is mixing with the cold water
Air is leaving my lungs
Along with my anger

The girl is waving his arms towards me
I want to say I love you
Tell her that I feel free
Yet my lips whisper “Sorry”

Upon a hill sits a wanderer.
Stranger to all feeling
Coward wearing no banner
Hand still bears branding

Look within to see sins
Millions of mistakes and failures
Hidden right beneath the skin

Wanderer tired from running
Tired of life
Waking up crying
Clutching for a foregone wife

Tis the tale of hatred and pain
Never-ending volumes added over time
Forcing people insane

Welcome to the Land of Wonder
Everything is an array of colors
And it leaves you time to ponder
Thinking of one another

You might get down Alice
Think of yourself less than others
But that heart will never fill with malice
And you will never be a bother

We sit in the land of wonder
So alone and wanting a light
For too long they shunned her
Dimming her light that was so bright

Take a seat next to the Hatter
Have no fear
You do Matter
Good times are near

We all can’t be happy in a land of wonder
Feeling like we don’t matter is natural
No one will remember us latter
But for now everyone will remember you as beautiful

So many are made better by your presence
We just don’t know that sometimes
If you were gone we would have no essence
Without that love we wouldn’t shine

That cat kept talking about you his name was Chester I think
Always the same how he said that this girl was so great
He always said how he was glad he met her
That girl was you Alice because you make others better

So stay as long as you need
We are here for you Alice
We would be worse off without you
Just ponder now in this land of wonder