I'm slipping, the edge grows near.
Warmth of insanity beckons.
I try to stay away,
but my eyes stare down the hole.

I'm draining, my arms are tired
My mind longs only for peace.
I want to stay away,
but I can hear it's sweet song.

I'm grasping, my fingers slip
The hole is deep, dark and cold
I'm spinning down in fear
Familiarly disorientated.

Maybe this hole is home
The darkness I've known all my life.
It's quiet and I'm alone
The world is so toxic and bright.


Take me far, far away.

Ever watched someone cook?
They're lovely served with salad.

The explorer entered the cave alone,
and he emerged pale with terror.
He never spoke of what he saw.
He saw nothing after all, but he felt everything.
And everything was enough for him to never feel anything ever again.

I tell myself
As a man of sense and reason
'Ghosts and gods do not exist'

I'm not afraid
Of movements in shadows
Or the wrath of fiction work deities.

I'm too busy
Haunting my own mind
With toxic self awareness and self made demons.

I stare at the ceiling,
Searching for meaning,
White indifference, gazing back.

I beg for an answer,
A cure for this cancer,
Secrets in plaster, stay silent.

Waking the void,
Blacker than black.
Emptier than empty.
The void is awake.
And empty.

Eyes seductive,
pursed lips,
awakened ember,
breathes,
sigh of satisfaction
smokey duvets
roll through the air.

Dressed in ink smiles we stare back,
Memories on paper lost to time.
Happy visions gone by,
Premonitions of time already lost.
I hold the moments in my hand,
and I wonder to myself,
Would they recognise me now?

Needles in hospitals,
Street corner cures.
Doctors and medicine
Dealers and ******.

There's a certain beauty in a ready meal
Icey and hard til you warm it up.
It spins like a ballerina
On its glass stage.
I observe the mouthwatering dance.
I am its number one fan.
Stalking,
I must see the beauty beneath the plastic. And I do and I will.
My pretty portioned Prince.

Be who you want to be,
Believe in yourself.
They need a new target to destroy.

I hate weekdays.
Claggy and samey
Rolling on.
Sticky.
Vanilla void
To weekends wildness.

Crushing reality.
Crashing around.
Lightning blinds the sky.

Trivial toad
In your pond.
Lily pad layabout.
Ignorance it would seem is indeed bliss.

If algorithms had flavour it would probably taste like McDonald's.

Glass half empty,
because I drank the other half.
Drinking emptiness to fill empty.

I know him so well.
Too well,
He keeps me well.
Toxic self awareness.
As he hoovers up another line,
And allows the warm wash
Of the cure for wellness -
Pill form happiness
To rush down from brain to shoes.
Waterfall of wellness.
Lips turning blue.
Hot ice
Face turning to soft cheese.
Cheesy grin.
Roller-coaster rambling.
What a ride, let's not collect the photo.
He tuts and sighs.

Don't be rancid. Don't breathe crystals.
Fear the disgrace closing in.
Closing now.
Rendezvous of reality.
Lighter to light, smokes to smoke.

The blade chooses and chops.
Dispensing clotted closure.
Silken Crimson
Pumping through.
Sodden clothes.  
Weakening resistance
Hands up go down.
Sliced and diced.
Wavy ribbons.
Metal spectates.
The corpse is moving.
Slimy red slug going nowhere.
The slug stays nowhere.

Nuance misery everywhere
How queer, walking in crystals
Diamond store. Gold and copper.
Sensual strawberries. Widened hole.
But it keeps raining tears and wine.

Never been so angry in my life.

Deep inside the forested Grove.
A candle lit dinner.
The children play.
They play with twigs.
And branch to sticks.
When the mood allows.
The mood is different today.
The twigs are sharp.
The tree falls down.
And kills them all.
'shall we serve pudding?'

Obituary poems.
Ditties and disclaimers.
It happened
Then it didn't.
The whole thing.
Then how come I read it?

Smokey hands
Cigarette sax
Silky scotch.

Strange kind of leaves.
Sullen whilst stroking at the breeze.
Is there a word for 'off green'?
Depressed lime?
Let's just water it and call it a sad tree.

The black chair stays black. Accessorised with yellow.

Ducking under puffy men the priest retreats to his chapel and begs the black chair for forgiveness.

From seated stone the wasp takes flight. Ready to sting the world red.

The black chair
Is black.
Accessorised with yellow.

They used to call it cuckold
Now they call it insanity.
Tomorrow it'll probably be fashion.

Treading carefully through dangerous halls.
I stop and admire the art.
So profound
I think
To myself.
Obviously I exclaim disgust though
At the limbs skewered on a barbecue.

Trees and bees are easy
sway and bob
oh hi bob
hows the kids
dead I hope
see you around.
marvelous.
said bob
machete bloodied
kids heads in hand
I'm gonna mow the lawn, want your kids doing as well?
Yeah sure bob.
Thanks

Feverish hands for applause.
jittery in gesture. fingers and tongues.
and thumbs. and limbs.
Sprawl and crawl.
What a creature
creature comfort
blanket to pain.
must wrap up in the medicine duvet.
burrito me up, serve me hot.

Roses are red,
thinking gets dicey.
Speak to a doctor,
before things get too spicy.

Normality trickles on by
Whilst I suffocate on the banks.
Such a pretty poison, glistening in the sun.
To suffocate or drown in toxic sludge.
To choke or hang.
Pass me the rope, It'll soon be weekend.

So many walls
so much crushing grey
and bars stretching up to the clouds.
On and on for miles around
and the noise, the constant noise,
that rings and pounds
on and on
to the hearts twisted beat.
It's noisy and lonely and small
and cold
trapped in this fleshy cage,
behind these smiley eyes.

The blood that washes away the flood just turns the water a deeper shade of red.

Despair tastes of nothing.
Why can I taste it all the time?

A gift from ages past.
Finds a knowing sight
From a clouded view.
A grenade to throw
To silence the crowd,
They're quiet for now.

The circus of eyes.
So many eyes.
Blinking and staring.
Why do they stare.
Black eyes that always stare.
So loud, always looking.
Even when they close.
I can see them.
Staring.
Makes my brain hurt.
Makes my nose run.
Because they just won't stop staring at me.
Makes it hard to think.
To function.
Maybe I'll close my eyes instead.

Holding hands with the Friendly Reaper.
I feel it, the grip, the warmth, the care.
It cares, he cares, she cares.
Sickening shiny scythe.
That cares cuts.
So I keep on pretending,
That the warmth is warm.
That the metal is gentle.
That the grip is comforting.
Hiding my face from myself.
Averting my eyes from that panicked stare.
That terror, that glances at the joined hands and back at me.
I embrace the reaper and his scythe.
Cut and reshape me. Just don't let me go.
Make the face in the mirror go away.
I'd help him if I could but I can't so just get rid of him.
Hold me close I need you to cut me and care for me.

Hold tight. White knuckles.
Buttered hands, oiled pole.
Stand strong. Tall, proud.
Shaky podium, slippy shoes.
Stay sane. Fake smile.
Maniacs room, door ajar.

How far is too far?
when you're in far far away.

'How are you feeling today'?
I hate that.
Can I say I'm feeling pretty ******* rhubarb and flustered?
'yeah I'm alright mate, you?'
Nosey ****. Mind your business.
And I swear if you mention the weather next...

Take a generous helping of plaster.
And lets mould a tangerine.
With a bitter skin so brittle and bright.
And a juicy flesh. Hard and impervious.
The tree rattles it's branch.
It's fruit, plummeting to happiness.
Soft blades of grass impale the eyes.
Deafening impact, internal destruction.
And now watch as it flowers.

It's too late.
To dig my own grave.
Why is it so hard?
To just fade away.
Fade to dust.
To nothing.
To be a silent poltergeist.
I dress in cadaver drag.
To human applause.
They scream encore.
I set my alarm,
Wishing I don't hear it.
Wishing for a sun that doesn't rise.
Dreaming of a total eclipse
Of the mind.

Push back pain,
won’t last long
Drips and pours
Seeps through tears
Puddles in red
Splish splash splosh
Wellies on tight
Red can’t get you now.

Inquisitions kiss
Salivating touch
poisonous caress
forbidden.
Wipe away the stain.
pretty lips
pretty smile
pretty god.
pretty hopeless for a pretty child.
the wise man built his house upon the dock.
so he could sail away from insanity's port.

My eyes are jaded
in this House of snow.
Staring into white
soft and cold
Dying, desperate for one last gasp of warmth.
crawl up against the flame
it licks and poisons
cuddle tighter , it licks closer.
Embers bright and skin terrified
scarred, blessed and burned.
Treat the wounds and warm some more.

Grated secrets
shards fall through cracks
fearing retribution.
the house is crumbling
walls fall in on doors
windows close
and shatter.
splinters, mortar, glass
skewer, crush and slice.
and the earth settles.

Funny, how the mirror reflects more than you show.