I knew two things from that first puzzle we did.
I knew that we would never find that missing piece and that we'd probably lose another
                                               (we did)
I knew that you were the only woman for me and that I was going to marry you
                                                (I did)

I've always enjoyed a good cup of coffee,
Which is why I've gotten really good at making it.
My slow solo morning sips,
It was the only time my coffee got the attention I believed it deserved.
But then you took your first sip of my coffee.
It was a slow sweet simple sip,
Yet my coffee seemed to find a place where it was truly meant to be enjoyed.

The warmth I get from you when your lips touch unapologetically,
As they softly poke each of your cheeks,
Ensuring your dimples leave a crescent that leaves the moon jealous.

It's a warmth sweater than a freshly baked apple pie,
stronger than the light that reflects off the lake's surface,
Softer than the apple-filled lake breeze that lifts your hair.

A smile,
so warm,
the sunshine started to feel cold.

If I could just love you as much as you loved me on days that i didn’t react to you,
I would hate myself- just a smidge less…
I would forgive myself for how I no longer get butterflies when I hold your hand,
Yet I can hear your butterflies flutter just as they did when we had our first kiss…
Just a few of the moments I’ve stolen from us,
All because I can’t seem to get over the things that have been stolen from me…

A time cuando todo el surfimiento ceases to exist,
Donde dolor es just a dream,
Y el amor is truly free and truly felt,
When we are hecho completo en Christo.
Mañana,
Cuando tenemos time to finally stop and actually ask each other,
Cómo estás haciendo?
When we have el tiempo a cocinar,
And to finally have a meal together.
Hasta Mañana.

My momma taught me love meant,
Doing what ever needed to be done for that person,
Even if it cost you your life.
Now she never actually said that but,
She showed me that with every action she did for me from birth.
See,
My mom almost died while giving me life.
See,
My mom always put food on the table,
Even if she had to pawn the promise ring my dad gave her.
See,
My mom didn’t have to tell me she loved me,
But she did anyways.

Am I a Sinner or am I a Saint?
Cause I’ve been given the ability,
To both Love and Hate.
To both give and take.
To both sin and pray.
I wish I could spend my late nights praying to the God who came down to make me right in his fathers eyes.
But I tend to spend those late nights,
Taking one shot too many,
Watching internet clips that I shouldn’t be,
Wishing that I wasn’t alive right now.
Because I’ve allow my flesh to convince me to partake in the things of this world,
As if there was no consequence,
As if it would give me rest,
As if it would some how make me blessed.
But let me inform you,
That I’ve been filled with nothing but regrets.
That a world without God is nothing but a reject.
That all I can do is simply repent.
But my shame still clings to me like a spirit ******* leech.
Trying to make me forget that my God has made me stainless like a white shirt after bleach.
Try to make me forget that,
Jesus was put physically 6ft deep,
So that I wouldn’t have to be put spiritually 6ft deep.
In that,
He took all my regrets and they died along with him,
He took all my shame and it died along with him,
He took all my sin and it died along with him,
He took my flesh and it died alone with him.
That when he resurrected,
My spirit was made alive in him.
Yet in that,
I still have the ability to both sin and pray

I’ve been self taught since the day I was born.
I taught myself to cry to allow oxygen to enter my lungs.
I taught myself to hold by bottle cause I got tired or my mom taking it from me.
I taught myself to lie when my mom asked me if I ate all the cookies.
I taught myself to ride a bike when my father got fed up with teaching me.
I taught myself to never make my father angry so I wouldn’t get no ahhh wooping.
I taught myself math cause my teachers were not skilled enough to get it through my head.
I taught myself science equations cause when my teacher spoke she made no sense.
I taught myself to love myself cause I never knew if anyone would.
I taught myself to love someone who never really loved me.
I taught myself.

I don’t hold on to these memories because I’m sad,
Not even mad,
Not even reminiscing,
Not even trying to figure out where it went wrong,
Not even thinking about how much I loved you.
I hold on to these memories because I’ve never been hurt this much before.

I thought i broke bread^1 for you my ******,
I thought i broke bread^1 with you my ******.
I thought i broke bread^2 for you my ******,
I thought i broke bread^2 with you my ******.

Let live in the now, you know the time for us.
The time in which we focus on the memories that we will make.
The time in which we live out our loves together.
The time in which our past doesn’t have the right to dictate what we will do next.
The time where out past needs to stay in the passed and not used a a weapon to govern us.
The time in which we don’t seek a future that we may not even be together.
The time in which we don’t let our dreams take over our memories that we never end up making.

This is my Shoebox of Poems.
You know, the poems you didn’t wanna write.
The poems that you wish you never thought of but, if you didn’t put them down on paper they would end up staying in your head all night, they would end up keeping you from sleeping at night.
The poems that revel your scars that you didn’t even know you had.
The poems that remind you its okay that you’ve been hurt.
The poems that if your house was burning down you would go back in for.
The poems that belong in the shoebox in the back of the closet behind every other box.
This is my Shoebox of Poems.

I had this lucid dream, where I couldn’t move a thing, where I couldn’t stop a thing.
Where couldn’t stop you from leavin’, all i could do was watch you just leave me.
I watched you get out of bed, as if it was the last time i would share a bed with you.
I watched you put on your clothes, as if I would never see the outfit again.
I watched you pack all your clothes, as if they would never be in my laundry.
I watched you walked through the door, as if i would now have and extra copy of the house keys.
I tired to get out of bed,So that we could fix it for tonight.I tired to put on my clothes, so that we could start the day together.
I tired to unpack your clothes, so that i could start the laundry.
I tired to walk through the door, I got my left shoe on, but I couldn’t get the right one on.
Because i realized, it was wrong of me to try to stop you from leavin’ so all i could do was watch you just leave me.

Shouldn’t,
Wouldn’t,
Couldn’t,
But still did it.

I won’t tell,
Of the late night we spent at _ _, and how we used to take out time when we _ there.
Of the way we would _ after staying up due to _ we did.
Of the way I used to make you , when it was just us two in _ .
Of our dates at _ _, and how we used to _ for a _ .
I won’t tell,
How I used to _ you, whenever you were .
How we used to _ each other,
Every night before .
How you used to make me feel _ _, every time you were _ _.
How I would go out my , just to make sure you got _ _ _.
How you did me , how you said _ _ _ .
How you _ me.
How we are no longer _, how we are just __.
I won’t tell,
Cause _ never ___ and tell.

There was always a “I promise.”

Since the first date,
I promised I would take you somewhere nice in homestead,
I promised that the ice cream shop would serve the best ice cream in town.

Since we became official,
I promised I would gas you up,

I promised that I would flex you of when ever given the chance.

Since I’ve met your dad,
I promised to take care of you,

I promised to never let anyone hurt you more than you dad could ever hurt me.
Since we graduated,
I promised that we would get a place together,
I promised that I would completely take care of you once we finished college.

When I asked you out,
I promised that I would never leave,
I promised that,
I would put in the extra work to make it work.

But when you left I realized.

You never promised.

What we had was a good thing,
It was;
me and you,
you and me.
It was;
we and we,
just we and we.
But then things changed, We went through phases,
It was no longer,
me and you.
We were no longer,
I and I.
We became a;
she and he,
he and she.
I became,
me and he.
You became,
her and she.
We no longer spent late nights, talking about how we were going to live life.
We were no longer,
Me and You

I won't hold you when,
you don't want to be held.
I will hold you when,
you don't want to be held.
I won't hold you when,
our first kid is born.
I will hold you when,
our first kid leaves the house.
I won't hold you when,
you meet my parents.
I will hold you when,
we no longer have parents.

I don't miss you, because the phrase 'I Miss You,'
Doesn't explain how my body aches;
To hold you,
To feel you,
To embrace you.
I yearn for you, 'Cause unlike Superman I can't live without my kryptonite.
I hunger for your voice to echo in my ears,
Simply because it is my favorite symphony.
I search for your fingers to caress mine,
So that they will become vines for ever in twinned.
I thirst for your affection;
Like a black man does for kool-aid.
Like a dying man does for first aid.
I crave for your love,
so hurry up and give me my fix.
I don't miss you.
I want you.