Hollie

Hollie Jul 2023

When I lay in bed
It's your scent
Soaked and washed over me
Your arms like shelter
Keeping the day away
Because lord knows I've needed you
More recently than before
Days spanding into weeks then months
Hunger screaming in my pit
Dark and stormy
Are the skies that hover over
But when I lay
You are there
You are always there
In memories I keep you alive
But outside our bed
Your body is where it's always been
Back at the cemetery
Where I had to say goodbye

Mourning death

#mourning #mourn #lovedones #arms #goodbye

Hollie Jun 2023

When life gives you lemons

Don't make lemonade
Lemons aren't enough
To turn something sour to sweet
If it was enough
We would not contrast and compare
To one another, alone or crowded
Oh sweet nothing,
When life gives you lemons
Squeeze them with sugar and water
Only then can life be sweet

It's not about lemonade

#lemonade #life

Hollie Jun 2023

House

Down on knees tying to clean up
last night brought the endless cycle
of breaking everything inside
I don't care enough to not care
I'm over it I think to myself
As though those words mean anything anymore
Sitting white knuckled jaw clenched
I want to give up every time you leave
But I put everything back in place
For everything to look like we're starting over
For when you come back it'll be okay
You can play house with my feelings
And I'll put a smile on
Hiding how tired I am to not mean more
Or worth being better for

Recognize toxic habits and relationships

#toxic #relationships #bad #habits #hurt #feelings

Hollie Jun 2023

Feelings

Alone is usually when it happens
Violent and hard hitting
Loud and strong
Like being alone helps ease the tension
I rush to wipe every drop
To keep the floors dry
But it doesn't stop
All efforts useless to stop the flood gates pouring
Through these swollen sleep-deprived eyes
It feels like it'll always be like this

#cry #sad #confused #alone

Hollie Jun 2023

Safe

When I am safe
I can be myself
Ramble and unravel the layers
Dress up, dress down and down more
When my body can rest
I am relaxed
Because
I can trust you

#safe #home #ramble

Hollie Jun 2023

Friend, Foe or Stranger

I don't need to be a friend, foe or stranger
Peering into the lives of others
Lurking in shadows like some danger
I know my presence stirs trouble
If they ask who I am or what we do
The truth isn't the whole truth, we cuddle
Kiss, touch, satisfy but can't justify
They will know the whole truth
Because I can't hide it from my face
When I look at you, that is the truth
Friends do not act, talk or greet like us
Shameless I am to indulge in an us

Jun 2023

Euphoria

Not Mine To Have

I hold my breath as your hands run through my hair
The thought inside my head, "Oh god, this isn't fair."
The way you gently pat on my head
Makes me want take back what I said.
When you handed the keys and held my hand,
God knows it's all I want but I have to take a stand.
For you are not mine to hold nor to keep,
You are not the one who'll be there when I fall asleep.
You are not the man whom I can love
For you're already someone's and not for mine to have.