i don't scratch my skin when it's dry to try to tear the surface to cause myself to bleed
i don't have nightmares where your hand touches mine and you're instantly disgusted
i don't scream all the lyrics to songs that make me cry because I relate too strongly
i don't write poetry because i can't find myself expressing my words
i don't scramble my sentences up so i can hide my anxiousness
i don't avoid eating because i'm afraid of weight
i don't do my homework because i've lost motivation

and i avoid admitting the truth.

when we kiss, it's filthy
exchanging sensual spit
mine tasting of strong alcohol, hints of strawberry
your reminds me of cigarettes, addictive like nicotine
together we are a walking mess
addicted to abusive subtances
addicted to each other

i cried for a good two weeks
after the main incident
i had told you i was sad
but i never told you what else
i had let happen

i stopped eating and
i stopped trying to breathe

but

the body won't let you stop
breathing, your body knows
you are a holy temple,
made to love but also to
be loved.

i was made to love you.
but i was also made to be loved.

why do we teach children the wrong things*
why do we tell children* if they are being teased by the opposite gender, it's love
why do we tell children that santa claus and the easter bunny exist
why do we tell children that everything is going to be okay

we are teaching children that love starts slightly abusive
we are teaching children imaginative creatures just to tell them they don't exist later
we are teaching children that all pain goes away

I'm not the girl who thrives on being in a relationship
I'm not the girl who moves around like a ship
I'm not the girl who just "takes a dip"
just for the sake of trying.

I'm not the girl who will kneel and bow
I'm not the girl who will wipe the sweat off his brow
I'm not the girl who will just let him plow
right on over me

I'm the girl who will drive you mad
I'm the girl who isn't "bad"
I'm the girl who makes the fads
I'm the goody-goody

I'm the girl who is still a ******
I'm the girl who will continue to burgeon
I'm the girl who will never go to a surgeon
just so I can be the same

I'm the girl who will give you all my heart
I'm the girl who been broken from the start

so love me if you can
I don't expect you to understand
That I don't need you to be "grand"
I just need you to be mine.

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
That's what they say, but it really isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too.
But violets are violet, not really blue.
Oranges are orange, but Greenland's not green.
A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not is to defile it,
But what the heck, it's hard to rhyme with 'violet'

yesterday we are here, giggling to each other about the gentle sleep noises we make, an entire night sky rests easy while I'm in your arms

tonight you are gone, I am wearing your sweater to bed, clutching the love notes you wrote me, there is rain and loud thunder while I scream

tomorrow I do not know where I am, I smell of liquor as I get tangled in a stranger that I will never speak to again, everything is dull and the people I walk by when I leave are faceless

Everyday after it is pitch black and pure white all at once, there is a single bench that I sit on, waiting for yesterday