Lala: Favorites

May 2015 Lala

I found some more dirt in the corner yesterday.

May 2015 Lala

Devon

I found some more dirt in the corner yesterday.

I found myself stuttering yesterday...
clumsily tripping, fumbling,
over words.
The explanation of my whereabouts -
in question.
Like a guilty child.

Awareness then anger emerge.
irritated, indignant hostility.
That I would allow this again -
over and over and over again…

Trying to account for every moment beneath suspicious eyes. Groundless guilt rising up, as I choke, words broke and unspoke

- while the little voice in my head screams "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!"

conditioned (kənˈdɪʃənd) adj
1. (Psychology) psychol of or denoting a response that has been learned. Compare unconditioned
2. (foll by to) accustomed; inured; prepared by training

un·con·di·tioned (ŭn′kən-dĭsh′ənd) adj
1. (Psychology) psychol characterizing an innate reflex and the stimulus and response that form parts of it. Compare conditioned1
2. (Philosophy) metaphysics unrestricted by conditions; infinite; absolute
3. without limitations; unconditional

#anger #guilt #dirt #conditioning #speakup #uncondition

Mar 2015 Lala

Time

Mar 2015 Lala

John Edward Smallshaw

Time

I built a blue glass from
the sand
and drank
the ocean dry.

Mar 2015 Lala

The way to work

Mar 2015 Lala

John Edward Smallshaw

The way to work

The old Chinaman is there again today,
not a takeaway, it
looks like he's there to stay
and he sits with a look that
could barbecue steak.

I take some time and try to decide
what he's trying to hide as
he hides in the recess, but
his stomach protrudes like some boil
or an abscess so his hiding's in vain.

I refrain and have done for several weeks now
in asking him how he is doing,
I wait while MacDonalds is brewing my tea as
he waits and he looks at me
curiously.

But his eyes are long gone to a time,
back when young,
and it's not me he sees or
my MacDonalds teas,
I
wonder what his name is.

Mar 2015 Lala

After the Op'

Mar 2015 Lala

John Edward Smallshaw

After the Op'

Whether I like it or not
I've got
seventeen staples that
hold me together.

Surgical steel,
real shiny and bright
holding
me tight
like a woman might.

I like that a lot
but the staples
may not,
they still hold me
together
though.

Feb 2015 Lala

Any Less Beautiful.

Feb 2015 Lala

Shanay Love

Any Less Beautiful.

The
             curves
                      of
          my
body
laid with oblivion;
We didn't love
with the same intentions.

The softness of my
skin roughened;
Your touch lacked
admiration.

The whisper of my
voice grew volume;
His voice lost consolation.

       But Please,

Acknowledge me,
Even if I become
any less beautiful,

      today.

#beautiful #touch #admiration #curves #oblivion #attention #consolation

Jan 2015 Lala

Like A Mirrors Reflection

Jan 2015 Lala

db cooper

Like A Mirrors Reflection

I flip flopped and tossed
Awake and sleeping
Premonitions of a day of weeping
Lucid dreams on the glass I'm peeping
.
.
.
The moons surrounded my past
Revolving heartaches and the car crash
I saw two flowers grow tall before my eyes
They were hauntingly deceptive
Bluming toward the darkened sky
Like a mirrors reflection
.
.
.
I saw myself
Standing out of bed
The stars began to fall
The stars in my head
.
.
.
Through the open window
My nose again bled
I called for my mother
I forgot she was dead
.
.
.
Standing there, I'm screaming;
bleeding;
Fading
Like the clouds covered the sky
On this particular evening

Lucid Dreams

#love #peace #hate #confused #death #nature #stars