I knew a kid that got shot over a couple lines of paint
Pill popping, loud talking type and mom thought he was a saint
I knew a kid that had his face changed
When his fate changed and his banging banged em up
Wasn't the type to run but he ran when they started running up
I knew a kid who got caught with too much although he did too much way too often
And the day came he over did it
I still wonder if he had enough
Kids with lives so broke they find a break in smoke and pills
But still Find time
For daily fights
And nightly thrills

Orange peel Thursdays and the Velcro shoes
Of children hordes
Who spider up Alice on toadstools in Central Park
Dusted psilocybin shoots my eyes through
With the clarity of ice and sliced mushroom
Steeping in stomach acid before finding blood
The kids are tripping like madmen or halloween candy
Like its time to release and give up to the nonsense
And let your young self congeal to a saccharine sludge

I don’t stroll in the park to keep my mind sharp
I’m here because it’s a riot
My head can throb to the jittery birds
And the blasts of carsong
It’s the right kind of rhythm to walk to

* *

Ketamine days and the lolling slums
To make sure the insane stay insane
And the hobos are washed with spit from the clouds
And the subway exhaust always hangs in our hair
And the old Coney Island burns again and twice more

We don’t pretend to understand what we see
In subway grates thirty feet wide
Like the earth punching out of work for a bit
Opening to you her *** belly
So you can check out the strips of metal inside
Before she slurps you down and with an esophageal squeeze
Shoots you through the turnstiles

The train squeals and grinds down our eyes
With thoughts as slow as ketamine
Makes room for schizophrenia in a conversation
We’re listening to ‘til sundown

* *

Years full of Brooklyn and the assorted pills
Makes offal fit for punks in name brand shoes
Squared off with police in the park
Being beaten for the fun of being beaten
Peacoat locals pass the days in supermarkets
And you grow up to the loony mumble
Of the woman who knows the boat
Moored at the end of the street
Mansion of the stray cat colony
You help her with her daily chore to feed them
Tabbies popping the pills of the homeless
And puking in tandem all over their house
Living off generous dying folk

Pill 1, gives me a couple hours.
Pill 2, heart starts galloping.
Pill 3, just to be sure.
Pill 4, Now its morning.
Pill 5, Should get me through the school day.

5 Pills a night, keeps me feeling.
5 Pills, I finally feel.
No Sleep, No Problem.
For now...

His smile has rained over my ribcage
where inside rests a soil field
for him to grow hundreds of red tulips
as red as my kiss to his sweet lips
and they've been blocking my breathing
each time he tells me that he's leaving
or simply return to me and staying
so I pluck them all and start counting
one and two and three
does he loves me not?
or does he loves me?
until teardrop falls and I cannot see
cause it always ends up with him
not loving me

The world I once knew is gone.
I was cowering behind a wall of lies.
Time seemed to envelope within
Illusions of silent love, shattered.
The torture of time crawling, breaks my being.

A thousand screams kept in
If I smiled just for now, no one would know.
A crippled blood bathed heart laid within me
Attempted again and again to seal the cracks,
but detestment seeped in.

Confusion and anger clouded my mind.
Time to vanish, surely it is my only choice?

As I turned to the darkness- I paused.
Will I regret…? Or will I fall apart, only to forget once more?
Flickers of thoughts flowed softly in mist,
As I sink in, taking my final breath…

My Choice is clear.
Love was void in my short existence.
Death welcomed me into its comforting arms.