make Endorphins more receptive today
the plant smoked or
perhaps a Corona or two,
I love that name Corona,
like something from the sun,
I like bud , it speaks to me
has multiple meanings,
everything gets showy golden
when I get giddy,
must be me  a chemical thing,
and  no more worries,
you ever feel like that?
Until tomorrow comes again
with brute force hammering
the insides of your head,
but ,
I like the word but,
I like butts,
that small extra t
makes the whole meaning change
and I like to smile
I smile at you
you who enjoys with me
my centrifuge
stirring atoms up
into meaning
and brewing
reactive nowhere's
and attitude
endorphins
we must not tease
go whole hog
or give it up
fuse two neurons together
or something

in the paper and liked it
it flowed ebbed
had substance
it was a word I had liked from afar
for too long
I decided to out myself
abandon my fear
and confess
my love for it
it was concise compact two letters
it wasn't just mine
to cherish
it was all of ours
it
stood alone

(I wrote this for my husband for our 11th anniversary. He was in the Navy, deployed. I found it in a book. That was 25 years ago)

It was eleven years ago today
Down South in Carolina way
That you n' me, in secret we were wed
We gave ourselves to each other
In those sacred vows we said
Every day l thank my Lord above  
For the power of our young, sweet love

You told me that nobody
Ever loved you like I do
Always I have loved you
Still our love is ever new
With your love you taught me
What commitment really is  

Through the years we haven't always
Been as close as we could be
Almost all our time together
We have journeyed happily
I wouldn't trade a minute
Of the time I've spent with you
The best times and the not so good
Whet our love most true

Today I spent alone, with empty arms
In my cold bed
How I long to feel the warmth of
your deep love in me instead
I long to give myself to you
And you yourself to me
Our kisses warm, our bodies hot,
as close as they can be

My joy in loving you
Is bittersweet today
Oh my darling! Oh my man!
You're half the world away
Anniversary without my love
Oh what a price to pay

In my heart you are as close
to me as my own breath
I pray that our dear love will grow
and even beyond death
With body, heart, and mind we'll know
As promised to each other
A life beyond our dreams  
My Bill! My own sweet lover!
Words alone cannot make known
how dearly our love sings



Sent from my iPhone

I haven't been able to shake the feelings,
the emotional investment of my last kiss.
For many years, I gave my body to a whole host of people-
but stopped at my heart.

I told her how ''lucky'' I felt, on our first date,
as I put my arm around her, a year of knowing of her from mutual friends. Of flirting, teasing, longing. Her head moved towards mine in what felt like slow motion, my own head a whirlwind. Our first kiss quickly became several..

And, finally, our last.

I found it hard to find the right words -
sometimes I just made sounds.
She picked up the emotion.

When I could speak-
I gushed at how beautiful I found her, it turned into a grand declaration, even I wasn’t fully prepared for.
I am not one for shouting, but the passion found its way into my voice and took full flight as I revealed how I felt.
I never wanted to regret not telling her how I felt. Having this rare intimate, fleeting moment with her.
I could not help but moan and groan until her lips found their way back to mine. As if giving me life.
I felt like a sailor who'd finally made his way home.

I emptied the entire contents of my heart, despite knowing, less is more, I poured out my adoration.
It probably wasn't appropriate in a public space
but we melded together
and I melted
before we barely touched.

I fell so hard
before and after.
I just want to want somebody again.

Sometimes I think of her
as I am pursued by him.
When do you know to ask a woman out?
When is the line from friendly chat to potential dating material
moved?
I'd have liked to think my past could clarify situations like this-
but I am oblivious, haven't the foggiest.
The testosterone has provided a thick mist of confusion, a smog, its flooded my brain, nothing will ever be the same.
A barrier between myself and my most protected feelings.

Sure, I'd kiss him, it'd probably feel nice,
but I'd like to spend more time talking to her,
really talking.
If *** was an experience in making love
if we ran out of conversation
and wanted our bodies to fill in the rest.
If it just felt good to be close to somebody.