sometimes, in highly inappropriate moments,
like when i am at church or driving or watching a movie with my sisters,
your hands ghost over me and my blood turns to fire again.
i can feel the little circles rubbed on my arm with a surprising tenderness,
i can feel legs twisted up with mine,
i can feel soft lips against my neck and a voracious appetite at my jawline.
goosebumps spread up my body as my toes curl and my face flushes,
and i remember all too well.

The first time you saw her,
she had drifted into your apartment
on the tail end of a gust of winter wind.
She was just tagging along as a friend of a friend.
Her starry eyes and half smile
were what got to you,
and they were enough to keep you around.
You caught a glimpse of her
reckless nightmare
almost immediately.
She was stuck in the middle of a
downward spiral,
and she took you along for the ride.
You couldn’t seem to find a reason for it.
She was just sad.
Her body was made up of
howling heart attacks
and incandescent suicide notes.
She was bad dreams,
a fractured spine,
lips hemorrhaging secrets,
and ******* shoved to the back of a throat.
She was laughter at four in the morning
and daisies in a hurricane
with dark hair and darker eyes,
all wrapped up tight in a skeletal frame.
She was your bulletin board of best kept secrets
that you covered with love notes.
You were always trying
to glue her broken pieces back together,
but her edges sliced your skin to shreds.
She did not want to be saved.

Learning facts in vain,
Tomorrow they will change again,
Life as grey as yesterday,
Living in silence so loud,
Minds as free as they can't be,
Life lived in front of a Telescreen,
What is truth but justified lies?
Evidence never survives.

2+2=1984
Who can be sure
What war is any more?
Free from the dream
of Freedom,
Love despised as lies,
Ignorance hides us,
from hating
our entire lives.

The past is our identity,
It changes every day,
Double-thinking truth and lies,
Takes it out of me.
Where is the world,
From way back when
with sunlight
colour
freedom?
Its been erased from history
along with our privacy.

2+2=1984
Who can be sure
what war is any more?
Free from the dream
of freedom
love despised
as lies
Ignorance hides us
from hating
our entire lives

Who thought that
love could spring
like this?
Moss between the cracks
Colour
in a grey scale world
to make
my heart beat fast
hidden
in the broken places
once
so set in stone
fragile secrets
like our lives
one breath to make
them break

Found
in the night
In Desire's claws
Trapped
By
Love

2+2=1984
who can be sure
what war is any more?
Free from the dream
of freedom
Love despised
as lies
Ignorance hides us
from hating
our entire lives

Where is the freedom
we fought for?
Where are the rewards?
There are no
Martyrs
Only the
Missing
Hidden
In their jaws

Where am I?
I don't really know
wrapped
in the trap
of love
remembering days
of passion
but no
that was not
love

My bones
are weary
My heart
is bent
My spirit
is broken
My love
is spent

My trap
My one
My love
Betrayed
By
Fear
2+2=1984

I am dust