We rarely talk
We've had memories
Some bittersweet

You're the song on repeat
And I want it to stop
Get it off my mind

No longer do I want this lullaby

blank faces
I still remember yours

your face in the dark
my pupils dilate

all the faces
I still want to see

don't turn away
I want to always remember yours

all these faces
none compare to mine

do you think it's good to forget our names too soon

faces
am I just a face
a stranger out of place

don't forget my name

why do all our encounters
fade away like a dream

we were screaming
then there was silence
unsure of which was worse

an ode to my soundcloud rapper.
it's 1:30 am on a wednesday night
i should be doing my homework or sleeping

i'm supposed to surprise you friday at work
but
you sent me a snapchat a few hours ago
that has me spinning to hard to drive the 4 hours home to you
"i'm sorry for trespassing on your heart. you just aren't as spiritually mature as the woman i am going to be with needs to be"
and then you went to bed
well actually
you opened my response an hour later
and then
ignored me
i just wanted to hear your voice one last time
is that so awful?

no it isn't
what is awful
is that you said you wanted to marry me
and that you wanted to be with me the rest of your life
you said that women deserve to be treated like queens and that's how you would treat me.
when i told my best friend that, she just looked at me and i could see the pitty in her eyes. when she spoke, i didn't hear the words so much as i heard the underlying warning, comforting, anger, fear, sadness.
"he sounds like a stupid *** soundcloud rapper"
"no" i said "he is a good Christian guy. he wants to treat me right."


i know you think you are speaking life into people's lives. i know you don't care how much it hurts them. but you should. i am not going to change for you. i am changing for myself. so that when you see me years from now, you can see that i grew through your toxicity. that it was simply a stepping stone. so, thank you for helping me realize even more warning signs. and for finally making me realize i should never apologize for standing up for myself. no matter how many people i lose along the way. goodbye until later.

I try to buy love
Like a shirt or a glove
When loves not for sale
It’s like my soul is in jail

I spilled some blood on the bathroom floor, mama,
But I swear it was an accident.
See, my hand slipped across porcelain, mama;
My skin tore like satin.

The paint flowed like a river then, mama,
And colored me a crimson sunset.
Oh, but it made such a mess, mama,
And I know messes make you upset.

So close your eyes, mama,
'Cause you're weeping red and the tears might stain.
Red for your lost love and red for scarlet fire,
and red for the young rose cut from the briar.

Maybe now I could be poetry, mama
The type you wrote about in your younger days.
Golden sun swallowed in carmine, mama
With its last rays dying in a blaze.

I cannot compose brilliant poems, sonnets, or verses,

and I cannot speak to you in Latin or Greek;

I cannot move you with any language made up by man.

Love is the only only language I could touch you with

If you only knew how much I could love you.

If you knew I love you;

If I were brave enough to tell you at all.