I've completely lost my mind
Every thought I have is another about a boy\
A man I saw by a moment ago
At work, in school, on the TV, in the movies
What the hell is wrong with me
I can't go a day without imagining them in someway
Yes, I'm a human and it's natural and alright\
But i'm starting to get worried
I'm staying up late reading books, with perfect men, all night
There's something inside me that draws me in
Maybe its the way they smell or how they know how to grin
All types of hair, any color of the skin, every sparkling eye
I never seem to win
One day I hope one falls for me as easily I do them
Maybe then I'd feel less crazy
And start to enjoy a normal life again

It's not everyday that you cry away your life
Or maybe it is
If you're like me, it doesn't change a thing
But it still happens some how
Nightly, while you lay down about to sleep
In the morning as you shower
On the drive to work and back
Pouring out all the sour
Stuff happens, you get over it, here comes the next day
But what if I don't want to be here for it?
I'm getting really tired of having a wet face
Tears falling like on a schedule
Checking off the list to make sure the deed is done
I mostly just want it to end
I'm trying to memorize the colors of the sky
My best friends colorful eyes
The way the fur of a cat feels pur-fect against my hand
How I smile at little things
Maybe more than I should
"Innocent" is definitely used too often to describe me
"******" seems to be the better fit
Each day I try to find a reason to keep moving
I wait for my cry-fest to come
I pray that the day will arrive where I don't regret a thing
I will no longer wish for something else
I've gone through this dark time before
I'm going through it again
It's different this time because I'm aware of it
I know and understand that something just isn't right
But the hard question remains unanswered
How do I fix what's wrong?
What's Next?