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My insensitive recklessness is systematic to my madness.
Madness honed from years of an erratic existence.
Ruthlessness born from a problematic insane lifestyle.
I can’t take away the pain that lies beneath the surface.
I wish to perish at times.
Just to make the madness stop.
For it drives me to seek the reaper.
Spoiled and corrupted, my love interrupted.
Purity smashed and dirtied and dashed.
What have I done, will she ever come back?

Please undo this seemingly unfixable mess.
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
ghost
Genuine kindness
is misunderstood
for ulterior motives.

Defensive claws
draw blood from
my open hand.

My tears hold
no expectations
lifting me up,
nurturing your fall.
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
Bisaal
in ruins
yet there will be no confession
lest a scythe be heard
scraping
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
Jaxey
numb
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
Jaxey
They say pain
makes poetry
so I wondered why
I hadn't been writing
then I remembered
pain is not what I'm feeling
it's what I'm yearning
in all this feeling
of numb
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
Dawn
Insecurity is a fast acting disease.
Pouring into every cell,
thickening the lens,
distorting view.
Erupt in jealousy,
tension fills the chest, breathing deep feels sharp.

Pick at their flaws,
make them feel small, tempt them to inch down to your level.
Do what you can, in every desperate attempt,
But the self disgust still radiates off your skin.

The unjustified hatred will
consume you,
convince you,
that you truly are the victim.

But it is merely a sickness that will eat you away.
 Jan 2021 Nolan Willett
nevaeh
it's expected
and accepted
and it's just how
i will go.
Ø
Feel like I'm floating. People talk but I don't really hear. Bought a cat cause I'm lonely but now I despise it because it needs.

Windows have frost, maybe vitamin deficient. Jack it to memories of a faceless  beauty on a night that cared so long ago.

But now I'm haunted. I'll see it soon. Just wish I could be alone; truly, truly, truly alone.  Where no light shines but withers
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