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Athena Jan 2019
You remember dreams fondly
and wish they were reality
or you remember them
with the ice cold chill of death
creeping up your spine
They hold you captive
in your waking hours
and you plead with your mind
to remember them forever
or forget them in an instant
The terror may chase you
and the love of unreal connections
can wipe your tears
But all of this depends
on whether you are willing
to hold them and accept them
or let them go forever
You can do that
or you can let your dreams
hold you and accept you
You can allow them
to let you go.
Athena Dec 2020
Tomorrow is an abstract concept
Stagnant and tepid and hopeful
We wait, awake beneath our blankets
in pitch darkness
as the hour turns
and it is still Today
This work may not be used in any form without my written consent. Use of this work without my written consent will result in legal action being taken.
Athena Nov 2021
You never want to listen to how I feel;
You only want to give me reasons
why I should not.
Someday, I will stop trying to tell you
and Someday, you will look up
and wonder at my silence
but I will be gone.
Athena Sep 2021
I am the corpse
that stares at the wall
with open eyes
I watch it fall
The dust rains down
a scattered heap
like snow
it falls
and I still sleep
I am the corpse
that stares at the wall
with glazed-over eyes
I see nothing at all
The rain comes down
like shattered glasses
like a clock
I measure the time as it passes
I am the corpse
that stares at the wall
with cataract eyes
I see it all
The fire dies down
like the crow
at church masses
like a feather
I drift in the wind as light flashes
Athena Jul 2022
I have this craving
for a calm I only get when I'm with you
I have this feeling of pure joy
I can't forget when I'm with you
But now you're gone
and I'm my own
and I feel alone; perhaps it's true
We painted all the pretty pictures
and art is dead without you

I have desires that come with aching
when I wait here for you
building up, becoming better
maybe hating you, too
I have this heartache that I carry
as I walk without you
Now you're gone
and I feel like a stranger; perhaps it's true
And when you left me behind
I didn't stray -  but I am new

Now with all this love
there's resentment - hot and blue
There's a chill in this room that I've become used to
Sometimes I think of what we were
when I was all in with you
Those times are passed, it's in the past
next to the grave I dug to tell this truth.
Athena Mar 2020
A fidget did happen upon
a slighter hint of sense
and so did she conjoin
to fit a great pretense
Enter the grand old master
who plays his wicked lute
his armor is mistaken
for an Italian-made silk suit
They danced until the morning
and danced the more 'till noon
and that is when she realized
her heel would fail quite soon
A fidgets stride did falter
and the music it did stop
but not in time to alter;
just missed it by a drop
Fell down, the merry maiden
upon the merry steep
and like a candle, flickered
and faded off to sleep
Athena Sep 2021
A sickness spreads among us
a chill that runs blood-deep
we kiss the fevered brow of love
and mother's all do weep
we raise the flags of plague-hood
and fall upon the steep
of churches bright and merry
and wish our souls to sleep
we plead with the forgotten
the **** of death will seep
we beg our hearts, remember;
we're given what we reap
Athena Jun 2022
Hands off
Bans off
Privacy invaded
This system that we broke
can't go a day without
being sedated
World views - outdated
We've come back to a time
when we have less autonomy
than a corpse
and all the men who said
they'd fight for their sisters
are silent
as the rights are stripped away
from the women they insist they never
Athena Aug 2019
I'm sure you thought
you were the only one
but amongst so many
we truly are amorphous
Faces differ and voices change
but who are we but repeats of an idealistic social standard?
There are so many standards, in fact
that we can't all possibly be the same one
or more than five
Good riddance to yesterday
when we were considered
Hello, today we are emotional
Hello, today we are confident
Hello, today we wear shorts and skimpy tops
Tomorrow is pajama day
Do you like my new shoes?
Sickening and so similar
to when we once stated that we would never be
Athena Jan 2018
Anonymous, my person
invisible to the naked iris
but how my vision focuses in
on that singular word
at the bottom of the page
almost more bewildering
than the words at the beginning
how I long to know your name
that we could speak
and perhaps I would then understand
why these words were made
and just how much you meant them
and just how good it felt to make them
oh, Anonymous, my lover
I read your works with a passion
for while I may never know your name
I know these words by heart
Athena Nov 2019
She rose in bouts of waking; wearied of this tender aching
Into the night, a riot shaking;
no one could cease the worlds final breaking
And so she bled, and thusly fed
the darkness at her door
She slipped into the mask
and wore it as a second skin once more
Athena Jan 2018
Liquid burns
as does smoke
and both share the same portal
both the same host
this liquid that burns
does not wash away the ash
that also burns
their host, how she croaks
and liquid burns as much
going down
as she does
coming back up
but not ash, who sticks
soundly to her host
loyal only to the tender pink flesh
of both lungs
and whiskey, she coats her masters
as a freshly painted wall
And sometimes they converse
a friendship of
cotton-tasting tobacco,
and bittersweet alcohol
the best kind of pain
self inflicted
but oh, how these twice-given agonies
go together so well
with their host, their slave
who is also their master
but never completely
for control between these three
must be separated by four
ash, whiskey, the host, and the choice
Athena Aug 2019
Dolefully at first;
fled to fairest oak
Morose disposition wearied, uninhabitable
The exposition of a dissertation
Where could the lock be found?
Tactless inhibitions;
awake, awake and break the sound
The Kings and Queens and Wanderers
the Pirates and Peasants and Squanderers
Awake, awake
We wear all the same crown
Athena Mar 2020
I lacked the heart to tell you
I broke myself to think
perhaps it never mattered
whether I would float or sink
You held your tarnished ribbons
and braided them in my hair
and left me in the shadows
after kissing me on a dare
I thought maybe I misspoke
I thought perhaps you misheard
I was so very mistaken; every bit the brittle bird
I nested in the leaves and sticks
of what was once our love
and now I stare at old gray bricks
and crave a finer drug
Athena Apr 2018
I am happy
I am sad
I am angry
I am bad
I hate this
and I hate that
I am silent
I am crying
I am screaming
but I'm still smiling
Athena Feb 2019
My legs send ripples
through the water
It's nice down here on the floor
***** on the rocks
broken glass cuts my arms
I hope the blood
touches the surface
I hope that they all see
Athena Mar 2019
I want to
grab you from behind
and hold a blade
close to your throat
I want to rip out
your spine
and use the splintered bone
to sew your mouth
I want to stomp on your ribs
until they crack
like glow sticks
and make cake with your blood
It tastes sweeter than love
Athena Dec 2021
They call it the color of sorrow
and use it to depict
deepest sadness and mournful
The color of tears
The color of the stormy sea
The color of veins in ice cold skin
I say that Blue is not the color of sorrow
It is the color of the dress
she wore to her first date
It is the color of her eyes;
and don't they look like the sea?
And the sea isn't sad - it's beautiful
and full of life, like her smile
when she sees her favorite flower;
Athena Aug 2020
I walk in places closer to the edge than the center
and I see beyond into places no one has ever told me of
Do you lie awake at night and see behind your eyes
the glimpses of dreams you have not yet had?
I lie awake and see nightmares alongside new beginnings
and tears in the seams of my past
I have not held flesh in the same regard as I have held
the intangible
but I have seen the stars even as they have turned away from my glare
and I have seen fortune in the graves of lesser men
with hollow eyes and empty heads
I go beyond the edge
to seek, and to find; or to die.
This is my own creative property. None may use these words without my written permission and proper credit given. Permission can be gained by messaging me on this account.
Athena Feb 2019
I drown
and glimpse Poseidon's kingdom
I fall
and I am lifted by the winds of Anemoi
My heart looks into
medusa eyes
And I run freely about the lair of Eris
I clutch the moon
in the wake of Hecate
as the war is waged against
Selene's solar bounty
Lethe guides my hand into ignorance
Ponos holds my head high
in the face of my deepest fear
Theia bares Eos to me
and I offer the reddest rose
for she is the light
that lets Helios reign
Athena Dec 2018
Convergient boundaries
force rock and long forgotten heat
to the surface
just as babes are forced from
the idle disarray of thoughts
of which form the womb
and into the
alert, calculated and controlled thoughts
of which form their lives
Daily we tread on what we love and hold dear
All of what keeps us whole and healthy and alive
stomped out and replaced with plastic
and bad news
We mold ourselves into disfigured amalgamates
to conform to an image that we did not make
We are unnatural
Athena Jan 2018
You dug your claws into my skin
Your teeth glinted with blood
and I couldn't help the fear that crept from my belly
in a shockwave
and strung its way into my heart
You lean over my shivering, bleeding body, and you smile
isn't it a beautiful sight, the broken pieces of someone else?
And like the fear, I can't help but feel weak
beneath your hulking figure
your wide smile
your laugh
even your eyes
You are the perfect predator
and everything about you draws me in
and spits me out
You rip through my skin like a woodchipper
I scream at the top of my lungs
until the pain is drowned out by my cries
agony is often described as unbearably painful
I think it is just a little more than that
and it would sum up perfectly fine
if you only described it as torture
if you only described it as something in multitude
for agony as one is agony as for many
and it is always different
and this, this is different
My agony, piercing through me in sharp pinpoints, numbing me at the edges
that is my agony
and you are the criminal
inflicting it upon me
Athena Aug 2021
She dances in a field of tiger lilies
Orange and gold stripes reflect from dew
Prowling and powerful
lightfooted as a breeze
She wages quiet wars with Him
whose power comes from anger
while hers comes from passion
He seeks obedience
from his docile, dancing lily
She seeks the seafoam waves
that come with liberation
His garden is thorny
His roses are prideful
He holds bated breaths
What could stall her arrival?
He scoffs at her liberty
as she plucks a thorn from her feet
and shoves it down his throat
Do not use this without my written consent.
Athena Nov 2018
Amber eyes
Warm caverns and mountaintop kingdoms
filled to the brim with the treasures of man
and the roaring of beasts
Wings stir the air and bend petrified trees
Grand plumes of fire
reflect in opaline scales
The dragon soars into the heart of the sun
Athena Feb 2019
I want to drown myself
in ecstasy tablets
I want to fill a room with
marijuana smoke
so thick you can't see past your fingers
and fall back onto the bed
I want to eat mushrooms
and lose myself
in a whole new world
and sit on the front steps of freedom
as the sun
sends cotton candy clouds
into an explosion of falling birds
I want to drink chemicals
straight from the vat
so that I can watch myself **** blood
and wonder what happened
last night
as I lay puking my insides out
all over the bathroom floor
I want you to blow smoke in my ears
and bake brownies
to fill the hole
in my stomach
and I want you to sit down with me
and watch everything
Life is a drug, so party
Athena Dec 2021
Once upon a night I wandered
Queried deeply, questioned, pondered
Lay awake in bed, not dreaming -
All the while, seeming, seeming
to hold this letter in my palm
A thorny tongue with many prongs
I ask myself what none had before
all the while staring at a closed, blackened door
I ask if life is a series of notes
left under the door, the blackened door
Oh, if it is, I crave, yearn, live for more
The door handle, burnt amber, twists and turns
I stare as it opens
and my bedroom burns
Leaving only my skeleton, crisp and hallow
with the note on my tongue, ready to swallow
the words that were written so sweetly, simply
Even as my heart beats not and my wrists hang limply
I spy through these eyes that aren't turning, turning
a man in the door that was burn, burn, burning
He is cloaked all in red, not black, nor white
And I do see his face - with my half-melted eye
He does not reassure me, he lures me in
and I follow, words eaten, and question again.
Athena Dec 2020
Sweetly, slowly
Held gently within the grasp of life;
Plucked swiftly, quickly
as a crisp fall leaf torn from a wind-battered tree
and left to fall sweetly and slowly
Silently, sorrowfully
does the leaf spread its veins
and crumble as it is trampled
and shiver as summers end
greets winter with silent and sorrowful tears
that lay drying as ice on the cheeks of feverish children
Carefully, cautiously
do we approach the warmth once more
the leaves of yesterdays summers forgotten
and the memory of chaste winter kisses
left to flee from blushing lips
as we grow carefully and cautiously to
chase evening flowers
and put from our minds all thoughts
of orange and faded leaves
This work may not be used in any form without my written consent. Legal action will be taken if this work is used in any form without my written consent.
Athena Jun 2019
Hidden 'mongst a canopy of green;
her eyes were lush and bright
The faerie maiden was lithe and lean;
her wit shone light as light
Decay dared not to harm her tree
and life remained all right
This lady, fair
with moonlight hair;
danced swiftly through the night
Athena Jan 2018
Every day I fall
and flail
I stumble and stutter
and slur my words together
I do so well some days
Those days I am proud
but on those awful
I fall even further than the last
You lure me in like
the perfect predator
as I am the perfect prey
topping off my glass
the moment that it empties
You, who tell me I need not ever use a cup
that I might touch my mouth
to the top of you
and it would be fine
so long as I drunk you all
to myself
and when your poison is in my veins
and I am thoroughly gone
you teach me how to walk
and how to talk
and how to scream aloud my every thought
in ways I would never imagine without
your harmful presence
but I need you
it is as though the very thought of you
makes me yearn for your bitter taste
Athena Jan 2018
Hearts that ache and burn
Ashes falling to the Earth
Writhe and twist in pain
Hope that we can wake again
But do we arise
When we are bidden to wake
And do we smile bright
For a love that only hates
Are we wholesome now
In this fever that we made
Will we cry for death
When the time has come to leave
Hearts that ache and burn
Ashes falling to the Earth
Writhe and twist in pain
Hope that we can wake again
Athena Mar 2018
I place one foot before the other
I whisper to myself
It's only fifty feet, but it feels likes fifty miles
With every gaze burning through the back of my neck like a heated pan of judgement
Every person is suddenly talking about me
Every one is suddenly watching
Eying me critically
I grab a tray, get my food
The walk back is much more difficult
The whispers seem like screams
The eyes are red and raw and malicious
And when I sit back down
Everything goes back to normal
And I let out a shuddering, icy breath
Athena Mar 2022
A shattered wing (of glass)
that never flew
and does not whisper to (or in) the wind
The ice-touched bird lent snow to branches
which wept songs that sang their sorrows
across the promised land
We drank the truths none dared to tell
(We didn't understand)
and dared to breathe the midnight waters
(the well was cold, our senses left)
Not night, but death;
our dying
Athena Jun 2019
I dare you I dare you
I kiss the frost
from iced shut lips
It's summer
a relief
I love how cold our love is
Athena Apr 2020
Written By Athena D. Bennett

This darkest night, she did go
Unto her love; moonlight, rain
Hidden warmth will melt the snow
Tomorrow, she will feel again
The branches of a pine bent down
The leaves white and gray with rot
Frostbitten, the birth of decay
Showing her all that she is not;
Begging her to stay
This is not goodbye; Hello
But now she leaves, and so you go
In the shadows of your light
She'll watch you grow
Learning and keeping to heart
All the words you didn't say and didn't know
Athena Nov 2018
I raise the glass of my eyes
and upon this action I drink swiftly your expectations
until I am full of you
Your heartbeat is my own
Your love is my love
Your darkness my deepest sorrow
Sleep Peacefully
Athena Jan 2018
Hell's teeth, biting and nipping at my ankles in a teasing,
sensual way
They tickle the sensitive skin around my neck,
leaving bruises in the shape of bite marks
Oh, God, how they make me squirm

Hell's tongue, swirling passionately with my own,
a sweet taste just on the edge of bliss
It darts forward, like a predator,
before moving back and to the side, in a soft, heated dance
Oh, God, how it makes me groan

Hell's hands, holding me up before I have a chance
to melt under their pleasure-bringing caresses
Touching me and rearranging me in ways too sinfully delicious
to say aloud
Oh, God, how they make me scream

Hell's eyes, drawing me in
and drowning me in a heated pool of desire
Roaming up and down my body as though I was the most
beautiful, sensual thing on Earth, above, and below
Oh, God, how they make me feel
Athena Jul 2022
Take up a pen
Decide now to check the contents of the kitchen cabinets
Struggle to remember what food you like
Pick something you tried once four months ago
Go to the store
Forget the list, only remember the one thing
Impulsively buy a weeks worth of that one thing
Realize after making it and eating it why you only tried it once
You now have six more days of food you don't like
But you forget to eat one of those days
Realize you don't care about saving money as much as you care about pizza
Buy a lot of pizza
Get acne from eating pizza for two weeks
Cry about it
(Also, food you didn't like sits in the freezer for months before you finally let go of the guilt associated with throwing not expired food away because your parents guilt-tripped you for not eating stuff you didn't like as a kid)
I'm calling myself out too so don't feel too attacked if you relate
Athena Jan 2018
my                                                 heart?                           mind

                               P L E A S E                                           never

                                                 please                               D O N ' T
        am                                                                 lost

where                                                                       G O


gone                          gone
                                                      P L E A S E

                   find                                                                me

I                                                          can't

                 see                                                                    it

dark                                                    D O N ' T        

help                                           help                                     help

                       my                                         thoughts

are                                                      too
                    G O

              scattered                                                      to


I'm                                                                 t i r e d



                              go                                               go  

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't


P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E  D O N ' T GO P L E A S E D O N ' T G O P L E A S E D O N 'T GO P L E A S E D O N 'T G O P L E A S E D O N ' T G O
Athena Aug 2021
I saw someone today
a flash of pretty brown hair
and honey-pools called eyes
We met in a tree hanging over the river
and sang songs that touched the skies

I saw someone today
silky skin giving way to calloused hands
and blood rushing thick and dark
We met in a cavern that led to a fire
of which we both had sparked

I saw someone today
with scraped knees
and a smile as bright as a star
We met in a field full of flowers
and held hands that were covered in tar

I saw someone today
with cold hands
and a feverish head
We met in a ditch at the side of the road
and I hoped that she wasn't dead

I saw someone today
with a pretty white dress
and stitched up heart
We met at a place where we all go
and I sang her to sleep at our part
Do not share anywhere without my written consent.
Athena Jun 2020
Your paper smiles
drawn on with red and black and pink
do not lift your eyes or bare your teeth
Colorful; insecure, hidden
Where are your claws?
those that you flash to the sky and the dirt
dig into the earth
and uncover nothing
Where are your wings?
those wings without feathers, that do not touch the clouds
blackened as they graze the ground
and are useless but for show
Where is your voice?
those cries you silence, those screams you shush
broken and brittle and naked, exposed and bleeding
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Athena Jun 2020
Throbbing veins
A fever brings unrest to my body
and desperation to my lungs
I cannot breathe; my great fear
And when I speak, my panic is mistaken for anger
And so I am away; now she takes my place
My emotions ebb, becoming her dispassion
and I am she
My lungs expand
But these are not my lungs
and this is not my name
I have no physical body of my own; only this, my sister-self
and a thriving consciousness
an infection in its own right
and a chill stillness within me
that marks me as less than human
Athena Jan 2022
Your face is supposed to make me feel safe
Your smell is supposed to remind me of milk and warmth
Your voice is supposed to be soothing
But everything about your presence brings me anxiety
and it's your fault.
I can't sleep at night
because I toss and turn with memories
running through my head
like the methodical twisting and turning of
the French braids you used to put my hair into -
Memories of times when you failed to protect me
and when you helped hurt me
and denied I was ever hurt to begin with.
I see you attempting to atone, and I feel guilty for not
seeing things your way
I want to forgive you as easily as I forgive the cat
for watching me cry
The difference is that the cat is a cat,
blameless without morals or human sentience
and you were my mother.
Athena Dec 2021
It's nighttime in this new place
where everyone feels at home.
In the dark, the lights of the city prosper
and laughter fills the streets
as bars empty out
and their patrons go home
You follow her;
not for a particular reason
You don't know her
none of her features strike you as familiar
or interesting
She was just there, where you were
and now you're going
to where she will be
She goes into her home
Safe, supposedly
You enter after her
unseen, unheard
until you strike
You are killing her
and she begs you to stay
so that she doesn't die
You Leave
Athena Jan 2022
Grass grew through concrete edges
of the parking lot
like the hard edges forming around my heart -
calcium deposits of emotional damage
that build up over time -
Corrosive and self-destructive.
Athena Apr 2020
If you do not love the way I talk
I will talk to the trees and stars
If you do not love the way in which I walk
I will walk by myself, but never alone;
My goddess is with me
If you do not love the way I see
I will watch the waters without you
If you do not love the way I am free
I will be free without you
If you do not love the way that I feel
I will still feel without you
If you do not love the way that I dance
I will dance with the waves I tread
If you do not love my feverish thoughts
I will think alone in my bed
If you do not love me
I will love myself instead
Athena Nov 2022
Something vile grew, at length,
upon the ending of his gaze
that landed on my mother's smile -
where I would pass my days
I'd walk along the wicked mile
that breached the stones below
I'd find myself upon the steps awhile,
hesitant to go.
Athena Sep 2020
I stand in the hallway
just past sorrows door
I look over my shoulder disbelievingly
in awe of my own escape
that came upon me suddenly
One moment I was a ball of tears and single-minded self-pity
and in but a blink I am here now
something less than whole
but more than the empty vessel I once was
Now, forward
This work may not be reproduced without my written consent.
Athena Jan 2019
I walk around
nothing feels real
I wave my hand in front of my face
and it blurs
like I'm moving at the speed
of light
even though it looks so slow
My mind is blank
and all I can think about
is how empty
I feel
It's as though I am
someone else
Athena Jul 2021
A mother is a special thing
You only get one, after all
A mother tucks you in
and holds you when you have bad dreams
even if she hasn't slept a wink herself
A mother makes you your favorite food
even though she's tired from work
A mother tells you
that you're a handful
but really means her heart is full of you
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