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Dec 2020 · 23
Abstract
Athena Dec 2020
Tomorrow is an abstract concept
Stagnant and tepid and hopeful
We wait, awake beneath our blankets
in pitch darkness
as the hour turns
and it is still Today
This work may not be used in any form without my written consent. Use of this work without my written consent will result in legal action being taken.
Dec 2020 · 26
Equinox
Athena Dec 2020
Sweetly, slowly
Held gently within the grasp of life;
Plucked swiftly, quickly
as a crisp fall leaf torn from a wind-battered tree
and left to fall sweetly and slowly
Silently, sorrowfully
does the leaf spread its veins
and crumble as it is trampled
and shiver as summers end
greets winter with silent and sorrowful tears
that lay drying as ice on the cheeks of feverish children
Carefully, cautiously
do we approach the warmth once more
the leaves of yesterdays summers forgotten
and the memory of chaste winter kisses
left to flee from blushing lips
as we grow carefully and cautiously to
chase evening flowers
and put from our minds all thoughts
of orange and faded leaves
This work may not be used in any form without my written consent. Legal action will be taken if this work is used in any form without my written consent.
Oct 2020 · 32
Paralysis
Athena Oct 2020
Terrors haunt my every sleeping hour
dreams of screaming soundlessly;
heartbeat quickening
hands unseen rendering me motionless
limbs attached but immobile and awkward
eyes blurry, unfocused
but still, I see the shadow in the corners of my vision
creeping closer with every heavy-lidded blink
I hear another set of breaths
and then I am staring into the eyes of something less than alive
but more than dead
because the dead do not whisper my name so sensually in my ear
and the dead do not caress my face
and smile horrific smiles down at me as I shriek
and no one hears
Copywrited. This work may not be shared by any person who does not have my written consent.
Sep 2020 · 39
Life's Doors: Part 1
Athena Sep 2020
I stand in the hallway
just past sorrows door
I look over my shoulder disbelievingly
in awe of my own escape
that came upon me suddenly
One moment I was a ball of tears and single-minded self-pity
and in but a blink I am here now
something less than whole
but more than the empty vessel I once was
Now, forward
This work may not be reproduced without my written consent.
Aug 2020 · 136
Breaking Relevance
Athena Aug 2020
I walk in places closer to the edge than the center
and I see beyond into places no one has ever told me of
Do you lie awake at night and see behind your eyes
the glimpses of dreams you have not yet had?
I lie awake and see nightmares alongside new beginnings
and tears in the seams of my past
I have not held flesh in the same regard as I have held
the intangible
but I have seen the stars even as they have turned away from my glare
and I have seen fortune in the graves of lesser men
with hollow eyes and empty heads
I go beyond the edge
to seek, and to find; or to die.
This is my own creative property. None may use these words without my written permission and proper credit given. Permission can be gained by messaging me on this account.
Jun 2020 · 59
Incongruous
Athena Jun 2020
Your paper smiles
drawn on with red and black and pink
do not lift your eyes or bare your teeth
Colorful; insecure, hidden
Where are your claws?
those that you flash to the sky and the dirt
dig into the earth
and uncover nothing
Where are your wings?
those wings without feathers, that do not touch the clouds
blackened as they graze the ground
and are useless but for show
Where is your voice?
those cries you silence, those screams you shush
broken and brittle and naked, exposed and bleeding
soundless
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Jun 2020 · 83
Infection
Athena Jun 2020
Throbbing veins
A fever brings unrest to my body
and desperation to my lungs
I cannot breathe; my great fear
And when I speak, my panic is mistaken for anger
And so I am away; now she takes my place
My emotions ebb, becoming her dispassion
and I am she
My lungs expand
But these are not my lungs
and this is not my name
I have no physical body of my own; only this, my sister-self
and a thriving consciousness
an infection in its own right
and a chill stillness within me
that marks me as less than human
Jun 2020 · 54
When the Water Stills
Athena Jun 2020
There is a silence that hovers, lingers
it lurks in the ringing of my ears;
the violence of passivity
the broken remains of a living breath
crawl along the forest floor like a starved leech;
latching onto memories and learned behaviors
a puppeteered husk among the awake
trying to pretend that it's still alive
although it lacks the pulse to prove it
There is a sound that breaks, cuts
it hides in the crevice of my conscious mind;
the last beat of my own heart
although my lungs still breathe and my legs still walk
and my eyes still seek
for they have yet to find meaning in this charade
when behind them lies my brain
and ahead of my path, the water is still
Apr 2020 · 64
Split
Athena Apr 2020
Written by Athena D. Bennett
I loved them, every one
They took me in and promised
that each would be the last
but still, I pack my belongings
into several plastic bags
piled on the grass
Is it me, my own, my fault?
I don't know who I am
Only taught to obey; only taught to be
Who is me? I am we
I am Ann and she is me
the me I don't let others see
I am afraid they won't believe; we hide
She wears my face as a mask; I'm still inside
staring down at the bags on the grass
and if anyone were to ask;
Her silence protects me
and that is her task
Apr 2020 · 61
Frostbite
Athena Apr 2020
Written By Athena D. Bennett

This darkest night, she did go
Unto her love; moonlight, rain
Hidden warmth will melt the snow
Tomorrow, she will feel again
The branches of a pine bent down
The leaves white and gray with rot
Frostbitten, the birth of decay
Showing her all that she is not;
Begging her to stay
This is not goodbye; Hello
But now she leaves, and so you go
In the shadows of your light
She'll watch you grow
Learning and keeping to heart
All the words you didn't say and didn't know
Apr 2020 · 73
I will love myself
Athena Apr 2020
If you do not love the way I talk
I will talk to the trees and stars
If you do not love the way in which I walk
I will walk by myself, but never alone;
My goddess is with me
If you do not love the way I see
I will watch the waters without you
If you do not love the way I am free
I will be free without you
If you do not love the way that I feel
I will still feel without you
If you do not love the way that I dance
I will dance with the waves I tread
If you do not love my feverish thoughts
I will think alone in my bed
If you do not love me
I will love myself instead
Mar 2020 · 55
Beautiful Things
Athena Mar 2020
I lacked the heart to tell you
I broke myself to think
perhaps it never mattered
whether I would float or sink
You held your tarnished ribbons
and braided them in my hair
and left me in the shadows
after kissing me on a dare
I thought maybe I misspoke
I thought perhaps you misheard
I was so very mistaken; every bit the brittle bird
I nested in the leaves and sticks
of what was once our love
and now I stare at old gray bricks
and crave a finer drug
Mar 2020 · 106
A Great Pretense
Athena Mar 2020
A fidget did happen upon
a slighter hint of sense
and so did she conjoin
to fit a great pretense
Enter the grand old master
who plays his wicked lute
his armor is mistaken
for an Italian-made silk suit
They danced until the morning
and danced the more 'till noon
and that is when she realized
her heel would fail quite soon
A fidgets stride did falter
and the music it did stop
but not in time to alter;
just missed it by a drop
Fell down, the merry maiden
upon the merry steep
and like a candle, flickered
and faded off to sleep
Jan 2020 · 26
Pending Implosion
Athena Jan 2020
What are we supposed to do
with all of the words building in the gears of our brains and at the tips of our tongues
begging to be said but too deeply personal to ever
touch the light?
Where do we expel all of the terrible and beautiful things inside of us before they
destroy us?
Nov 2019 · 135
Armor
Athena Nov 2019
She rose in bouts of waking; wearied of this tender aching
Into the night, a riot shaking;
no one could cease the worlds final breaking
And so she bled, and thusly fed
the darkness at her door
She slipped into the mask
and wore it as a second skin once more
Aug 2019 · 61
Passive
Athena Aug 2019
Dismissed
You don't have to fight anymore
Your life has been a chore
but you'll be stronger all the more
Ultimately you've thrown away
essential needs and hospitality
but you will always see
the mask of immortality
You must take in insanity
and show your own vitality
against poverty and property and
the mockery of constancy
Aug 2019 · 99
This Is How I Died
Athena Aug 2019
I walked where I knew no direction
In the wood chips of a garden I fell
My eyes and mind had their limitations
I was sure I was in some Earthy Hell
I stood on my wobbling feet
and looked with my wobbling eyes
and found it hidden in an alley
what an unsuspected disguise
I met there a stranger
whose voice I don't remember
though I'm sure we must have talked for a while
I fell to the ground
and I kept going down
there was blood on my knees, but on my face a smile
I closed my eyes to the whispering trees
and awoke in a place made of black
and I saw the sky
a ring of yellow in the dark
and I knew I could never go back
The closer I walked to the ring
the further I went from my body
and the further the ring fled
It was then that I realized I was dead
So I stood still in place, like a statue taking up space
Stone and red and young
like a wilted rose soaking up the last light of the sun
Aug 2019 · 72
Amorphous
Athena Aug 2019
Undistinguished
I'm sure you thought
you were the only one
but amongst so many
we truly are amorphous
Faces differ and voices change
but who are we but repeats of an idealistic social standard?
There are so many standards, in fact
that we can't all possibly be the same one
or more than five
Good riddance to yesterday
when we were considered
normal
Hello, today we are emotional
Hello, today we are confident
Hello, today we wear shorts and skimpy tops
Tomorrow is pajama day
Do you like my new shoes?
Sickening and so similar
to when we once stated that we would never be
'those'
Aug 2019 · 53
Nihilism
Athena Aug 2019
Nothing, No One, Nowhere, Nothing
What is it like
to believe in something?
Say something must be better than nothing
but I am not crying and you are not smiling
and both of us are
sad
You are not perfect and I am not something
I am not one thing and you are not nothing
We are going nowhere on the road as no one
Nothing, No One, Nowhere, Nothing
What is is like
to believe you are something?
Aug 2019 · 200
Autonomy
Athena Aug 2019
Dolefully at first;
fled to fairest oak
Morose disposition wearied, uninhabitable
The exposition of a dissertation
Where could the lock be found?
Tactless inhibitions;
awake, awake and break the sound
The Kings and Queens and Wanderers
the Pirates and Peasants and Squanderers
Awake, awake
We wear all the same crown
Aug 2019 · 70
Requiescence
Athena Aug 2019
Requiescent;
bathed in orange light
and purple skies
The water is green and gold; hues of effervescence
Sullen volcanic ash rains down upon
gray-blue sand and red-stained glass
Goodbye, mother
Goodbye, brother
Goodbye sister-friend and housecat
I am going to sleep
I am going to sleep
in the garden we grew the year before last
You are all dead, We all are dying
blood roses and torn cartilage;
by any other, unsurpassed
Sleeping now, Sleeping now
Cast into clouds of misty memory
Requiescence
Aug 2019 · 56
Peaceful Insurgence
Athena Aug 2019
Fell gently, we young insurgents;
our profound shrieks unheard
Impoverished of our ambitions,
lacking of a better word
Ephemeral, Transient, Cursory
Gone
These creatures, vain;
divine, famine
So delicate, respawn
Lit tender is the woodland, sheltering
the kindes fawn
Abhorred in petrification;
devoiding the station of degradation,
bereaving in perpetual sedation
Luxuriating repose
Jun 2019 · 107
Frost
Athena Jun 2019
I dare you I dare you
I kiss the frost
from iced shut lips
It's summer
a relief
I love how cold our love is
Jun 2019 · 103
The Puppet War
Athena Jun 2019
Hopping about the stage
with strings sticking out of my edges;
invisible, feeling, tangible, thin
No one believes that a puppet has a heart within
Wood glue may hold me together
and my smile is painted on
But you laugh nonetheless, peeking under my dress
while I dance to my puppet song
When the curtains close at the end of the show
and I'm locked in my box with bars
I cut the strings off
and at you all I scoff
because you can take my footsteps
but you can't take away the scars
Each opening act a little piece of me falls out
stuffing and splinters and my painted dolly pout
Everyone stops, no one believes
you take my barred box
but me, you leave
I may no longer have a face
I may no longer have a place
I may be fabric and glue
but I am free from your choking embrace
Jun 2019 · 139
Faerie Dance
Athena Jun 2019
Hidden 'mongst a canopy of green;
her eyes were lush and bright
The faerie maiden was lithe and lean;
her wit shone light as light
Decay dared not to harm her tree
and life remained all right
This lady, fair
with moonlight hair;
danced swiftly through the night
Mar 2019 · 68
Bloodlust
Athena Mar 2019
I want to
grab you from behind
and hold a blade
close to your throat
I want to rip out
your spine
and use the splintered bone
to sew your mouth
shut
I want to stomp on your ribs
until they crack
like glow sticks
and make cake with your blood
It tastes sweeter than love
Feb 2019 · 93
Untitled
Athena Feb 2019
You
blinded me
and it was as though
every light in the world
went out
Feb 2019 · 116
Pipe Dreams
Athena Feb 2019
Before I've even had my breakfast
I smoke a bowl of ****
and I hold it for a week
until my lungs begin to speak
They say garbled words
that I don't understand
and the doubt is a seed
growing into a plant
Am I doomed
here on earth
or is there really a plan
because right now it's too much
I've dealt my last hand
I'm tired of hearing the same things
it's starting to grow old
I'm aging too quickly
and my mind is blooming mold
Before I've even had my breakfast
I'll light up a bowl
and turn my skin to bone
This pipe is my savior alone
I'm sorry
I promise that I am
but I can't keep going on
bury me in the sand
Hello
I can't wait for you to get home
I don't know how
anyone
could live on their own
I see smoke
I think the world's on fire
Oh ****, nevermind
that's just the high of my desire
It's peaking
the way I slowly walk
I think I'm sinking
so I start up the hot box
Before I've even had my breakfast
I hit the pipe
and these words I recite
as I finally say goodnight
Feb 2019 · 2.2k
Chasing Helios
Athena Feb 2019
I drown
and glimpse Poseidon's kingdom
I fall
and I am lifted by the winds of Anemoi
My heart looks into
medusa eyes
And I run freely about the lair of Eris
I clutch the moon
in the wake of Hecate
as the war is waged against
Selene's solar bounty
Lethe guides my hand into ignorance
Ponos holds my head high
in the face of my deepest fear
Theia bares Eos to me
and I offer the reddest rose
for she is the light
that lets Helios reign
Feb 2019 · 705
Willow Tree Winter
Athena Feb 2019
Everything fell apart
as ravaging hunger
and yowling cries
became
mild nurture
and womanly sighs
Unearthed
the night ground out
splendor in a shaded cove
beneath the willow tree
she lay
sheltered from the chill
and snow
long awaiting the warmth of day
she wrapped around her
the leaf of an oak
and wore natures love
as her winter cloak
steadily she slept
the treeline as her pillow
and in a few sweet hours
she would die
beneath the willow
Feb 2019 · 386
Parting Ways
Athena Feb 2019
We are all united
as a single soul
bent on making claim
to our individual recognition
constantly fighting
to be separate and apart
but always jointed
as we fall dead
on the field of blood
that we made
together
Feb 2019 · 479
Drugs
Athena Feb 2019
I want to drown myself
in ecstasy tablets
I want to fill a room with
marijuana smoke
so thick you can't see past your fingers
and fall back onto the bed
forever
I want to eat mushrooms
and lose myself
in a whole new world
and sit on the front steps of freedom
as the sun
sends cotton candy clouds
into an explosion of falling birds
I want to drink chemicals
straight from the vat
so that I can watch myself **** blood
and wonder what happened
last night
as I lay puking my insides out
all over the bathroom floor
I want you to blow smoke in my ears
and bake brownies
to fill the hole
in my stomach
and I want you to sit down with me
and watch everything
melt
Life is a drug, so party
Feb 2019 · 159
Purgatory
Athena Feb 2019
I'm convinced that this is purgatory
and we are all captive
inside of ourselves
Nobody
Feb 2019 · 186
Power Play
Athena Feb 2019
I don't want revenge
It isn't an eye for an eye
Of course it isn't
What I want is probably
more complex
or maybe it's more simple
I want to destroy people
completely
because they didn't finish the job
when they tried to destroy
me
#revenge #****** #**** #anger #destroy #destruction #complexity
Feb 2019 · 247
Blood In The Water
Athena Feb 2019
Kick
My legs send ripples
through the water
It's nice down here on the floor
***** on the rocks
broken glass cuts my arms
I hope the blood
touches the surface
I hope that they all see
Feb 2019 · 184
The Brilliance of Selves
Athena Feb 2019
Your eyes
are a million colors
Your skin
is a thousand temperatures
Your mind
goes a billion miles
You think so quickly and so often
sometimes you don't even finish a thought
before you've begun
another
You are brilliant
and it shows in every inch of you
and every crevice
oozes with potential
So why do you waste it
on people who can't even see it?
Jan 2019 · 71
Natural Order
Athena Jan 2019
The light bends down
lending a willows reach
hold steady your
perception
you have lessons yet to teach
Begin your travels
wanderer
and pace easy through your trials
Fall into pools
swim endlessly
Flee quickly from their
pitying smiles
Follow the rabbit into the woodland
glade
A gentle sloping waterfall
Let the water cleanse
what it has made
Lightly we trace the marks
Left
Behind
and wonder how long
we will have to wait
to leave this
place
Sleep soundly while the children scream
And hollow out your ears
turn blinded eyes
to their little cries
and sleep, sleep, sleep
peacefully
Wake into the dark and hold your breath
wait for sounds that
others can't hear
And when they come
please do not
run
there's no use hiding from your fears
dry your eyes and wipe your tears
Lean close and when
its claws dig in
smile
and give thanks to your
friend
Tuck into your dinner
there's worms in the pie
There are cups full of poison
we're all waiting to
die
Will it hurt when we slip away
into the night
when no one around is awake
Slip away
Fall deep into the dark
and stay
Jan 2019 · 106
Rapunzel
Athena Jan 2019
Did it hurt
when you fell from
your tower
pretty lady
How long have you been captive
in your royal
lies
You are as blind as the prince was
when your wicked
claws
scratched out his eyes
Jan 2019 · 64
Misplaced
Athena Jan 2019
I walk around
and
nothing feels real
I wave my hand in front of my face
and it blurs
like I'm moving at the speed
of light
even though it looks so slow
My mind is blank
and all I can think about
is how empty
I feel
It's as though I am
someone else
completely
Jan 2019 · 108
Scoptophobia
Athena Jan 2019
I walk through the halls
and I pretend to feel
nothing
My face is blank
and makeup
hides my poor
self esteem
with the shimmer of lies
Law demands that I remain here
but my inner laws
are constantly broken
when I walk the line
of Scoptophobia
I adjust my step and my hair and my backpack
I still feel out of place
watched
constantly
I know that I cannot possibly be broken
I know that I cannot possibly be so
hopelessly
annoying, weird, ugly
I know that maybe I am average
and that maybe they see me as nothing more than
just another girl
But the fear lurking in every gaze
will never let me
see the
truth
Jan 2019 · 54
Query
Athena Jan 2019
You asked to hold my heart
in the same manner
in which you queried
to hold my hand
Carelessly
Jan 2019 · 69
6:39
Athena Jan 2019
You remember dreams fondly
and wish they were reality
or you remember them
with the ice cold chill of death
creeping up your spine
They hold you captive
in your waking hours
and you plead with your mind
to remember them forever
or forget them in an instant
The terror may chase you
and the love of unreal connections
can wipe your tears
But all of this depends
on whether you are willing
to hold them and accept them
or let them go forever
You can do that
or you can let your dreams
hold you and accept you
You can allow them
to let you go.
Dec 2018 · 256
Convergent
Athena Dec 2018
Convergient boundaries
force rock and long forgotten heat
to the surface
just as babes are forced from
the idle disarray of thoughts
of which form the womb
and into the
alert, calculated and controlled thoughts
of which form their lives
Daily we tread on what we love and hold dear
All of what keeps us whole and healthy and alive
stomped out and replaced with plastic
and bad news
We mold ourselves into disfigured amalgamates
to conform to an image that we did not make
We are unnatural
Nov 2018 · 148
Dragons Heart
Athena Nov 2018
Amber eyes
Warm caverns and mountaintop kingdoms
filled to the brim with the treasures of man
and the roaring of beasts
Wings stir the air and bend petrified trees
Grand plumes of fire
reflect in opaline scales
The dragon soars into the heart of the sun
Nov 2018 · 139
Full
Athena Nov 2018
I raise the glass of my eyes
and upon this action I drink swiftly your expectations
until I am full of you
Your heartbeat is my own
Your love is my love
Your darkness my deepest sorrow
Sleep Peacefully
Nov 2018 · 76
My OCD
Athena Nov 2018
I click my pen again and again
Again and Again and Again
click click click click click
but it still doesn't feel right
and the world is about to end
A thousand times I'll tell you that I don't know
I don't know I don't know I don't know
I'm so frustrated
But I can't stop talking
I don't know are my favorite words
and my most indecisive enemy
I wiggle my legs
up and down and down and up and up and down
I'll twist my feet
point my toes and swirl my foot around to make the shape of a heart
make the shape of a heart
make the shape of a heart
make the shape of a heart
Again and Again and Again and Again
You ask me what I'm doing but
I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know
A million times I'll blink my eyes
a million tries
to blink my eyes
Blinking and Blinking and Blinking
but none of those tries leads to triumph
because I still feel absolutely horrible
and my world is about to end
Six times
Nine times
Three times
I leap out of bed and I run to stand in the hall
but my mind tells me to go back to my room and I do
and then my mind tells me to go to the hall
and I stand there and then I run back
What am I doing?
I don't know I don't know I don't know
Why? Why? Why?
STOP
Stop asking that question
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it
a million times over I hate it
But in the end I'm still stuck in the hall
clicking a pen
jumping up and down
Obsessing and allowing the Compulsions to eat me alive
and end my world
May 2018 · 66
Untitled
Athena May 2018
How could anyone play by the rules
if we don't even know them
May 2018 · 66
Subtle
Athena May 2018
When I had nightmares,
my mother would shake me awake
because she couldn't bear to hear me cry
Now, today
She barely hears it
and I rarely ever wake up
May 2018 · 78
Untitled
Athena May 2018
Every touch is fire
and I'm sick of being burned
May 2018 · 92
Wicked
Athena May 2018
You're a warm person
It's not just your body, either
Your very presence heats up a room
Your mind is well spoken and you mean what you say
Some of them are angry, but mostly we're smiling
because your very presence is a blessing
and we're wicked to the core
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