Hello,
I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.
You thought you broke my body,
But you broke so much more.
It wasn't just me,
It was the life that we had.
Goodbye, familiar and secure.
Goodbye, dreams in my head.
Hello,
I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.
I pick the pieces up,
But they don't fit together anymore.
I want to move on,
But I'm scattered apart.
There's no faith in who I am.
There's no trust in my heart.
Hello,
I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.
I keep saying, Hello?
But you left out the door.
You hadn't understood,
How the abuse was like before.
And the abandonment was the same.
It's trauma for me on the floor.
Hey, I'm pretty broken here.
Picking myself up once more.
Oh brave heart, end this cycle.
I can't be a victim anymore.
I wrote this 4 years after the last abuse. I was triggered in a normal relationship with feelings of abandonment. That provided me a lense to see how raw the emotions still felt. And how cycles continue, even when I've tried hard to heal.