I keep digging
Without a shovel
My bare hands have gone
So deep

The more I dig
The more lost I feel
Why am I doing this
Just an empty hole

I'm starting to see
That everything I ever knew
Was abuse and cruelty
I hate my entire past

I thought I had moments
Of joy and love I held onto
But it hit me like a block from above
Gushing over my head with blood
I never knew what love was

The hole I dug
Was a grave for myself
Empty and depraved of life
Dark and burrowed with strife

If I strip away every piece of abuse
From my entire life
There's nothing left to recall
Now I'm taking another fall

I cannot tell if I'm healing
Or if I'm sinking
Even further into the hole
I only know weeping

Is this a wishing well I dug
Filled with hope
And dreams
If I believe enough

Or am I still digging
My grave from hell
Burying myself within
Letting all the demons in

It all feels pointless
Every single memory
Is so twisted
How could I ever miss it

The evil words
The hatred and mockery
Being used and torn
Why was it a shock to me

I still can't grasp it
My entire life was blackness
Only lived with sadness
But I keep digging

Am I winning?
The never ending battle
Or am I continuing
The cycle of abuse
Like foolish cattle

Imagine for a moment
That you're barefoot
Freshly awakened

And in a box
Of nothing
A blank slate

As you look back
You see darkness
Overbearing depth

Is that where you were kept?
Now look forward
Take your first step

You will see it's blank
This is your chance
Take your barefeet and dance

Splash new color
Maybe joy maybe blue
You can make so many hues

You can go slow as you like
Or fast on a bike
It's your time now

Sometimes the dark may follow
Push it back under a cage
Lock it tight

Use your might
You escaped the dark
Show your path some spark

Your colors may not match
Some of the slate
May stay blank

That's ok
Do it your way
Honey, you're here to stay

You'll never go back
So stop looking
No need to attack

Maybe you'll find
Red shoes very divine
Maybe you click them together

And find home in new weather
You'll find your "together"
And be able to rest in forever

I just want to tap dance
Twirling skirts
Fast feet

Tip tip tap!

Going fast
It's gonna last
Forever

Fun music
No worries
Bring others with stories

To dance off
It's art
It's beauty

It's not unruly
Outlaw me
I'm so quick and speedy

Let me move my feet
In the summer heat
Flowers blooming so neat!

Let me shake my bottom
In the flowing autumn
I feel like I'm a blossom

Tippitty tippity tap!

It's a smack
To the ground
With joyous sound

Musical notes fly
High in the sky
Giving hope a try

Swirl into the blue dew
It's harmonious
And delicious

My feet tapping
The beat rapping
Everyone's fingers snapping

Except I'm burning out
I'm draining like a cloud
Energy spewing down

My eyes burn
My ears hear no sound
Words leave my mouth

My head's gone south
To the floor
I can't take this no more

The tip tip tapping

It isn't stopping
It's going too fast
I'm burning out

Taptaptaptap
Taptaptaptap

How is this fun
We all need to run
I'm burning in the sun

The heat blisters my skin
This feels like sin
take off that stupid grin

Let me sleep
Please stop dancing
It's not enchanting

It's loud and piercing
Everything is gleaming
My blood is streaming

Please calm down folks
Stop the obnoxious talks
I'm not insane

I just must restrain
From too much tapping
Because my body starts overlapping

I feel too much
And it always ends
Stabbing me in the chest

Then I numb myself
To feel less pain
Trying to restrain

Yet this time
I took the risk
I showed my heart beat

Faster faster faster
Ticking ticking
Butterflies swirling

I told you
You were kind
But said you can't be mine

It hurts deep inside
But this time
I'm not going numb

My heart won't let me
It's beating endlessly
Except cruelly

It's been years since I felt
So deeply
Infacuated with another

I never showed my feelings
To someone I wanted
So very dearly

I guess you could say
I'm feeling a bit
Of heartache

It's not traumatizing
But it is agonizing
Slightly terrorizing

I think of you by mistake
It keeps me awake
It's colorful and cute

Then I remember
You said no thanks
Now it's all December

Cold inside me
My heart churns
As I yearn

Yearn to rip me open
And bandage up my swollen
Heart that's been shattered

Shattered a million times
By many different guys
But I think this takes the prize

I saw hope in your eyes
But it's my fault
It was so new and exciting

I was really trying
A bit too hard
Like a worn out ball of yarn

Stringing along
To a new cute song
Patter patter by the paws

Except I always get claws
Stuck inside me
I'm such a dummy

I fall too fast
And too rashly
But lastly

I love too much
Too quickly
For someone always alone
And unsightly

My loneliness is crippling me
Shattered legs sinking
Into the darkest quicksand

The metronome ticking
Steady and heavily
beat ¶¶¶¶ Beat

The door closed
Only shadows consume me
My thoughts scream me to sleep

The ground where I wept
Is my favorite sleeping spot
It's warm to cuddle with

I'm just a sad *****
Crippling and falling
I'm tired of crawling

Let me lay here
Impaled with a spear
Evil spirits always near

I'll smile for the show
None of this is real
Let my skin start to peal

Someone release me