Despite all the hell
The unspeakable evils
I do not tell

I found hope
I held on tight
Ignoring the obvious *****

I wrote poems of colors
And heart flutters
I tried to stop my stutter

For i thought
Deep down
I finally had a shot

Everyone says it's all in my head
That there's nothing wrong with me
I'll find someone eventually

Take the risk
Make the move
Not all men will treat you like this

Once again vunerable
Once again opened my heart
Once again fell completely apart

At least I wasn't laughed at
Not really enough
To keep me from crumbling

The dark cloud
Of blue despair
Still in my air

Won't let me breathe
Not allowed to love
Only known to bleed

Bleed out pain
And then restrain
Into nothing

Goodbye
I'm leaving again
I'll never find
A lovely friend

So long
I'm not strong
To let my emotions
Belong

I'm down
Down
Down
Again again

I'm so sick of this
I'm empty
Except for the pain
Running amidst

Panic attacks
Panic panic panic
Drained
Drained

I don't even have words
It's all the same
I'm hopeless
I'm hurt

Nothing will ever work
It doesn't get better
I'm only getting worse
Life is a fake flirt

Whistling whistling
Hope and love
Never letting me
Touch
The
Pleasant
Colors

I may only dream
But my dreams have become
Nothing but twisted
Trash and ****

They all say I'm.wrong
That I do belong
That someone will love me
I've waited and tried so long

I'm more alone then ever
Maybe I'm meant to be this way
Crying and swaying in pain
Every ******* day

There's no beauty to this
This song has no meaning
Not a good start
Nor ending

A true symphony
To my life
It began empty


And nothings changed

We write poems and songs
Of romance when our hearts beat
Faster and f a s t e r

It's beautiful
It's romantic
It's poetic

Unless the fast pace
Doesn't stop
Hours and hours
Pass me by
It gets faster

There's no calm in sight
My chest is clenching
Not for love
Not for beauty
Only cruelty

Days and days pass
It still last
Fasterfaster
Beatbeatbeatbeat

I can't win in this life
No matter the precaution
I keep falling
Into new depths
And deeper crypts

Of terror

Little sparkle
You
glow

Natures beauty
Is starting to
Show

Deep oceans
Skin deep
Wave into M~o~t~i~o~n

Splish splash
My lungs crash

The beauty
Is |p|a|i|n|

Choo Choo
Nostalgia from
An endless train
Recites lost memories
Inside my brain

They whisper
Like the ocean moves

There is faint light
Left from the sparkle
I once sew

I am confused
I am lost
I get so very cross

I see beauty
I feel at home
Then my thoughts
Travel and rome
My heart hurts
As i cry inside

For Im lying
I don't know
Where my home
Ever was

But late night warmth
From the fire place above
Frosted lips
And funny quips

Keeps me dreaming
And writing of fairies
I can find peace
I can find love
If i just keep my mind
On the one above