I've loved and I've lusted
Desire clouding my judgement
Mind craving deep connection
Body craving his *******
Give into sin now or later
They say love makes the sensation greater
I don't have time to find out
I need to feel you right now.

Focusing on outer beauty
Watching YouTube tutorials for hours on end Trying to learn how to contour so u can fit in
Going out to buy a waist trainer
So you can get thin
Using snapchat filters to have lighter skin
You don't need a fatter *** darling
You need to read better books
Try to improve your mind
Instead of your looks
Physical appearance will only get you so far
Without all the superficial
Do you even know who you are?
Underneath the facade can you even recognize yourself?
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word wealth?
Do you think of money or jewels or fancy new whips?
Or an abundance of knowledge and maintaining meaningful relationships?
I refuse to ever be the pretty girl with no purpose
Cause at the end of the day, outer beauty is worthless. Being pretty is cool, but I'd rather be smart bc bad ******* are everywhere
It's my mind that sets me Apart.

If I die today don't say you'll miss me.
I've been dead inside for years yet somehow you couldn't tell when you kissed me
If I die tomorrow please don't cry
All I've wanted for years was to be able to die..
physically
To finally be free of my thoughts & my misery
To be able to see once & for all if being here served a purpose
Does god really exist? Or was living by all those rules simply worthless.
When I'm gone please don't pretend you care
Because when I was alive, you were never there
All I ever wanted was to appreciated & understood
But all you ever saw in me was the bad, not the good
Now I'm gone & you wanna talk about how you loved me.
Yet When I was alive you put everything above me.
Basically what I'm saying is don't wait til its too late, because feeling so alone can lead to self hate.
Self hate to self harm
Self harm to killing myself
When if you'd taken the time to ACTUALLY care, it could've done a world of help.