There is pleasure in pleasing
and I enjoy both

I'd like to see you needing
I want to hear you wanting
I want to leave you
needing more of me

I want to be what drives you crazy
The only cure, is to devour me

it always seems to be
when I am alone
the universe hands me
the worst anxiety
when I have
no one to cry to
no one to distract me
no one to talk me down
just me and my thoughts
trying not to over think
trying not to freak out
trying not to cry
eventually I'll be okay
but ****, universe
at least let me have a friend

Tangled thoughts
Flooded eyes and a runny nose
I have so much to say but no words are close ...

Give me the melancholy
of clear skies
in moody March,
and the joy
of scorching sun
in mid October.
Give me the elixir
of blooming trees
in festive May
to put me into
somber slumber.
Give me earthy,
muddy leaves,
woven into soft rugs,
to walk on with
gloomy November.
I want to be fitted into a calendar,
into comfortable routine
so that I roll my way backwards
in near perfect opposition.
I want to rewind the seasons so as to match my mood.
Maybe then I'll be in sync with time.

She dries her hands with the kitchen towel.
And apologizes for the mess
that isn't there.
She puts an apron
on top of her evening black dress.
She cooks eggs
and smiles with lipstick stained teeth.
I sit on the small kitchen stool
and read out loud
from a Terry Pratchett novel
laying open on my lap.
She giggles
and her laugh fills the small apartment.
She says she's so happy
and anxious
to have me in her home.
And I stare
at her back
and her messy braids.
They're falling apart.
I can't find the words
to tell her
that a late theater play
and fried eggs for dinner
in an flat the size of a cup holder
translate to salvation in my language.
I don't have enough vocabulary
to explain
how her friendship tastes
like chamomile tea when you're ill.
And how talking about boys with her
clears the cigarette smoke from my lungs.
Because she feels like starting over,
she feels like trust,
she feels like the new friend
you read about in novels
where everything clicks.
And so I'm left
with a butterfly heart.
And the only thing I can do
is thank her time and time again.

i touched your soul
and scribbled my name on it
love, you’ll never get lost again

Kick my warped heart
'cross horizon's false length
watch it burst at my heel's tempered strength
under hot caustic palms
I grind clots into smears
o'er the tactless bold beauty
of dusk's starlit tears

Acidic blood orange
immiscible lies
through combustible petrol lined dusk riddled skies
pummelled raspberry shades
razor grazed until night
amid gloaming mood strains
of my bruise hued twilight

Your blackness detoxifies
poison carved pain
murmured words purify
dispel doubts storm fuelled rain
overcome by our sunsets
conquer nights crushing pain
watch the burnt sun arise
let our hearts love again