I can hear you singing
is it about me?
is that vain?
am i weak?
can this approaching anxiety leave?
can i just be me?
can i please be free?

these thoughts are destructive
they're decay on my positivity
my hard earned sanity
my clarity

clouding my emotions
feeding my every insecurity


**Please, Please, Please Anxiety
Please let me be!!

I may be completely insensitive with the case
My eyes narrowed for a chase
But it seems that you don't care
Willingly i want to help
But for a reason I'm too scared
Facing my fears is no game
Trembling hands and heart in an ace
How will i survive?
Would you help me?
Or should i allow myself to be drowned?
Drowned with the feelings i cannot contain.

i'm tripping over shoelaces
and falling over beating hearts
while you are watching
with amused, worried eyes.
my fingers turn to ice
and i manage to mumble
"i like your hair" before
the world ends and
my shoelaces are strangling me.

I have to tell you how it really felt
there were times I wished I had just knelt
and asked for forgiveness for everything I didn't do
instead of asking the many questions
and seeking comfort in philosophic quotations
because till date it still isn't love if it isn't you…
swear the day you left was the day I died,
the only thing that got me going was my pride
which was sky high like an eagle on a cloud ride,
I know I once said that I moved on but I lied
I was saving you, (the billion times that I tried
but failed to let you see the real truth about my pain)
from guilt, couldn’t get myself to show you the oceans of tears I cried.
I even couldn't get myself to hate you as much as I wished I could
an earthquake that brought a storm, and left me to deal with the stormy rain
for when you broke my heart the rest of my life was *******…
Going past us may cost me ever and a day as I still dream about the kisses
and scour the floor of reality, searching and picking up the pieces.

"I'm a ******* Starboy"

The words are spelled
On your forehead
I smile at you
The real smile
That you always see
Playing on my features.

"I love you unconditionally and always"*
You think I don't know that?
You look away each time
You see my adoration
And know deeply and truly
That I will never act on it.

I'm done waiting around,
If you can't see that
I deserve better than anything
You are willing to offer.
Of all the beauty you hold
None of it will belong
In my life again.

And as you leave
4 minutes to catch your train...
"It's fine I'll pay"
I say once again.
And I think maybe today
You may have understood
Why I won't give in to you.

It's always the same with you.
But there's a warm place
In my heart as I think of you.
There's a virtual kiss
Landing on your forehead.

To you it means
The kiss of death.
To me it always meant
The kiss of loyalty.
You may never agree on everything
But maybe today
You understood
That I'm nobody's side *****.

before death we share one last breath
what last word will be on your lips
what last word will your ears hear
with what last word will you take your leave.