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FreeMind Nov 2020
One day, I will wake up with the dreadful realization that I have spent my youth following the rules of my strict, conservative, religious parents.
And despite my love for them, I will look back at my teenage years reliving one mistake. Dating a boy who used me.
I would have learned from that mistake. I would have grown form it.

But I will still look back, wondering why I haven't gone out as much. Why I stopped making friends. Why I never partied. Why I never did anything spontaneous. Why the night before dyeing my hair purple I decided to cancel my appointment so I could avoid facing the disapproval from my parents. Once again.

It is hard to be the child of a dyeing nation.
A nation that is glorified for pride and honor.
But where sexism and homophobia exists.

I will remain the brown haired girl that stays at home and studies on a Friday night. That spends her Saturdays reading books about the life she will never experience. Hoping that she dies before realizing that her life has been a waste.
November 28, 2020
#136

I have disappointed her once, and I will not do it again.
FreeMind Aug 2021
If I could choose to be reborn as anything I wanted, I would
choose the sunset, in hopes that you would finally look at me.
Perhaps, I would choose the rain, with the intention of feeling your skin. Or else, I would choose the strongest ocean wave, so I could pull you deep down and keep you to myself
August 9, 2021
#150
FreeMind Sep 2020
They will never understand what it's like
to be ruled by the Moon, controlled by the Tides.
My devotion has never been stronger and I present myself to them,
Beg the spirit of the Moon and Ocean to take me away
August 27, 2020
#122
FreeMind Oct 2021
At 22:00, I started drinking to ease the pain away, to
calm down, to let loose.
drink after drink after drink
Glasses are being refilled without my asking. A magic trick.
At 00:00, I can no longer stand but I still think straight, I
know I haven't reached my limit yet. There's
still a goal to reach, a purpose to serve. And I
drink I drink I drink
No longer knowing which glass is mine, I take a large gulp.
At 02:00, you are on my mind. Your face blurry, a man unknown to me.
Your faults are long forgotten. The ringing in my ear is replaced with your whisper, and
I want you I want you I want you
October 4, 2021
#153
FreeMind Feb 2018
Its an upside-down world
Where good is bad
and right is wrong.
Where love is hate
and kindness is an awful crime...

We live here thinking that we are the great
But we are all just waiting to see our fate.
We wait for the unreturned love,
That is hidden by those above.
We want those that don't want us,
But isn't it all just an awful fuss?


-FreeMind
#13
FreeMind Oct 2019
In a room full of people, I meet your gaze and wonder:
Do they all feel the tension rise in the room?
Can they smell the fire burning inside me?
Will they silence the voices murmuring in my head?

No one notices.
No one knows.

Intensity is a form of distraction you use to send my mind into microgravity where you can ****** my clarity away from me and pull me towards you like a magnet as you have become the center of gravity but my thoughts have already vanished into outer space and the only thing I have left is my feelings that push me towards You

They notice.
They know.

Judgement is a subjective way of knowing, but they know, when they see your clear blue eyes, your sharp jaw, your muscular frame. They see what they want to see, they always have. And I can't judge them. Hypocrisy is the enemy of Truth, and I too have once saw God in You

You see me, stripped of my armor.
I see You, but my tears make you so blurry...

For years, I tried my best to forget you. To replace you. With food. With exercise. And if there was a patch, I swear to God I would wear it. But right now. I want to forget about the pain. Because I miss You.



-FreeMind
October 25, 2019
#97
(first draft got deleted.. :( )
FreeMind Aug 2021
I will dance with you
when your energy surpasses that of the
sun, but won't that be easy for you?

I will sin more, because I know
I won't find you in heaven.
I will read more, to
feed my imagination of us together.
I will only whisper, so you are
forced to lean in and listen to my word.
I will become your sugar, your alcohol, your cigarettes, your drugs
I will become anything to make you stay...
August 9, 2021
#149
FreeMind May 2020
I like seeing you happy
I just wish you shared that happiness with me
May 29, 2020
#114
FreeMind Mar 2021
I remember watching you laugh,
Keeping close attention to the way your lips moved,
Noticing the gap between your teeth that you so desperately wanted to hide.

I remember wanting to kiss you.
To feel the warmth of you on my skin and have your
Radiating energy surround me, holding me in your embrace.

I don't think those thoughts anymore,
For I know that your body has long gone cold...
March 25, 2021
#143
FreeMind Feb 2022
I will turn into air to forever
surround you, to stay by your side.
I will turn into the rain, and leave
kisses on your skin, one drop at a time.
I will turn into the sun, to
warm you up on a cold day. And
I will turn into the moon to light up your dark nights.
February 12, 2022
#166

Please don't go.
FreeMind Jan 2020
A boy was mean to me today
And you weren't there to stick up for me
So I put on a brave face and laughed his comments away
But deep down inside, I'm dying to be wrapped in your arms

To feel safe
To feel protected


-FreeMind
January 23, 2020
#102
FreeMind Sep 2020
In my dreams
I see you vividly, as you follow me around.
I see your puffy lips, your small blue eyes, you brown hair that I could swear was ***** blonde,
I see your bushy eye brows, your straight nose, your imperfect skin.
In my dreams, I see you.

As I open my eyes
You disappear without a trace, and although I know
Your features, and I know them well. I can't place them all together.
Your face becomes the face of a stranger.
As I open my eyes, you cease to exist.
September 30, 2020
#127
FreeMind Oct 2019
I spent far too long worrying about my past mistakes
That I forgot to live in the present

I worried about what others thought of me
That I forgot to think my own thoughts

I worried about the calories in the meals I had
That I forgot to enjoy the food I love most

I worried that you wouldn't like me back
That I forgot to cherish the fun we had

I worried that I wasn't smart enough
That I forgot to appreciate the resources I had to learn

I worried,
I stressed,
I was upset,
I was unhappy.

But to focus on the worst is to dream a nightmare by choice
And I simply don't have enough sand in the hourglass for such silliness, I am no longer a girl You can kick around and dismiss as you please.

I am a gemini, I shall explain myself to no one
I am a witch, I shall protect myself with my own power
I am a woman, and I will enjoy every single moment of my life

Because life has no meaning if you let it pass right by you


By : FreeMind
October 25, 2019
#96
FreeMind Dec 2020
See the truth is, I love you.
But loving you causes too much pain, so I must learn to love myself instead.
December 23, 2020
#138
FreeMind Feb 2022
I bloom with you like a flower in the sun, but once you leave the
leaves will droop and I will wilt.
No amounts of water will save me, for no one can rebuilt
a dyeing flower, regardless of their power.
No care and no love will save me but yours, for your sun-rays
protect my fragile petals and warm me on these days.
My roots have grown deep into the ground, intertwined with yours, and now I am bound.

A sunflower will follow the sun, just like I will search for you in all my happy days,
in all our lovely memories.
February 15, 2022
#167

i love you i love you i love you
FreeMind Feb 2019
A mirror is placed in front of a mirror
And I stand in between.

I'm trapped in the devils portal
Cursed to see nothing but my sorrow.

I weep in fear but am too afraid to move
And before I know it, I become a part of the spirit world.



-FreeMind
February 14, 2019
#75
FreeMind Feb 2019
woman
The word rolls off your tongue like an insult.
You look down upon me,
Judge me for my desire to grow wings.
Your gaze is that of disgust and yet you draw me closer
With your filthy paws.

Woman
Is the one who gave you life.
And you dare to belittle her with you filthy mouth?
Why don't you compare her to the earth instead?
The ground that gives us food
Why don't you compare her to the air?
That lets us breathe
Why don't you compare her to water?
That can drench our thirst
Why don't you compare her to fire?
That keeps us warm

WOMAN
Is what I am
Is what I am proud to be
So don't touch me if I don't want to be touched
And don't stop me if I don't want to be stopped
But most importantly,
Don't feel pity for me because I was born a woman.
I can do what I please to do
And I will do it when I please to do it.
I am unstoppable.
I am a woman.



-FreeMind
February 8, 2019
#74
x
FreeMind Oct 2018
x
At this point
The only thing that can fix me
Is your lips pressed against mine.



-FreeMind
I can't find the strength to write anymore.
I feel broken. I feel tired.
And I don't know how much longer I can take this for.
#59
YOU
FreeMind Feb 2018
YOU
One look at you, and there it goes.
A shame to say, but I have froze...


This tsunami of memories floods my mind.
Inescapable. Unavoidable.
And slowly I become a prisoner that has been left behind.

You.
The one thing I have desired.
You.
The one that tore my soul away.
You.
The one that controls me even when you are gone.

How?
How is it that one can ruin my life repeatedly?
I suffer the pain over and over again.
No matter how hard I try,
It is inescapable.
I am trapped.
And all
because
of
You.



-FreeMind
#11
FreeMind Jun 2021
I said I wouldn't, but I lied. I
Will open the window for you if you
Promise to visit me once more. I
Will let you enter and stay with me tonight, if you
Promise not to leave me again.
Not even if I ask.
Not even if I beg.
June 29, 2021
#146
FreeMind Mar 2019
Red imprints of your hands are left on my neck
Purple kisses of your fists are left on my thighs
~
I lose my breath when we cuddle
My fingers go numb when we hold hand
~
As you decorate my body with your glance
I begin to find beauty in the unique designs of your creation



-FreeMind
March 20, 2019
#78
FreeMind Feb 2018
For years I was surrounded by darkness,
Darkness that began to feel pleasant to me,
Darkness that I got used to living in.

Every time I got pulled into it,
I would greet it as a friend.
I accepted it and the pain that came along with it.
Forgetting what I have lost.

And yet you came along and brought a change to my life,
Happiness to my life.
You made me smile and laugh,
You brought me joy that I haven't felt before.

You are the sunshine in the darkest place,
That lights me up with a strong desire to live on.
To leave the darkness and stay in the light with you.
You changed who I was and made my world a better place to live in.

And now I am yours forever.



-FreeMind
29.04.17
FreeMind Jun 2020
Everyday at 6 o'clock I see you on the swings alone
You swing standing
Wearing your red headphones and your tiedye miniskirt
Not noticing the world pass by around you

From behind
As the sun begins to set
Your long hair resembles the golden curtain in my room
I watch you watch the changing colors of the sky

Wondering how anyone could have the bravery to disrupt your inner peace with an innocent hello
Written in August 2019
#115
FreeMind Sep 2020
мне не нужны открытки с твоими поэмами,
и шоколад можешь оставить себе.
Я просто хочу читать книги и жить в тишине,
одной
August 30, 2020
#124
FreeMind Aug 2018
It has only come to my mind now
That your name translates to heaven.

Thoughts of you have flooded my empty head,
And so I decided to write a poem dedicated to you.

I wanted to write about that smile of yours
(The smile that warms me inside even when it isn't for me)

I wanted to write about that rainbow bandana you wear
(That made me embrace my love for them too)

I wanted to write about that guitar you play like a real musician
(Such talent I've never seen before)

I wanted to write about that haircut I complimented you on
(The courage I gained to talk to you)

I tried so hard to think of those perfect words to write
But I can't
I can't

I can't write about how beautiful or smart you are because you are so much more.
You are magnificent.
You are an inspiration.

But what saddens me most is that you are gone.
And I will never be able to tell you all those things I have tried to say.
My only hope is that you see this some day, and finally realize how much you meant to me. Even if to you I was just a girl with a crush.


-FreeMind
About a girl
#55
August 21, 2018
FreeMind Sep 2020
У моей любимой,
энергия солнца,
красота Луны,
сила земли,
и страсть огня.
Она нежная как воздушные облака,
любить её опасно.
Но она всё держит меня за руку и тянет меня к реки,
там нас унесет течения в Параллельный мир где мы сможем жить.
Вместе.
August 26, 2020
#121
FreeMind Sep 2020
Я не хочу умирать зная что ты ещё жива
ведь оставлять тебя одну в этом ужасном мире жестоко
я лучше сожгу его дотла чтобы мы смогли уйти отсюда вместе
August 30, 2020
#123

— The End —