Tis a nightmare, to think and then sleep, and sleep yet still think.
    Voices from the past echo in endless black at the back of my eyelids, the chasms of my mind showing me there are many things worse than death. Oh yes, by a thousand fold.
   I fall into the darkness, like lead weighs me down. I can't breathe, yet, I can still think, I die a thousand deaths, and yet, I can still think..

   But
     I
  can't
    do
     a
thing.

    The questions my dreams beg for me to answer make me ever restless, the answers heavenbound, as I

sink

sink

sink


into the abyss.

Funny how people you know, may come and go.
Whether it be from a poor choice of words, or the weight of the world.

All my old writing was as accurate as premonition, as if I wanted a tragedy to JOLT ME from my sleep.

The silver lining is I suppose I got what I wanted,
it just wasn't the tragic self harm I dreamed of.
More like a tragic mistake that destroyed the boy I once was, and the girl I once knew.

You can live an entire life with someone in your dreams, and they would never know.
The first kiss you shared, and the last words you spoke to them before the waking dream loses them, neuron to neuron, cell by cell.
Then I thought,
you could do so awake as well.

Another night, taking the dog out, headphones in, the moon's glare in my eye. Like a limelight.
A moment clear as I walk down the flight of stairs, and everything around suddenly becomes like stone, to sand. My clarity becomes fleeting..
again.
My delicate heart could cease on this midnight walk beneath this warm glow, and would anyone know?

Would even I, know?