I could feel the cold air flowing to my skin
Blowing the branches and leafs
Of the millions trees
Fear describes my feelings
As the woods doesn’t seems to welcome me
And the trees staring at me coldly

The land was so muddy
I felt squeamish
As the mud goes up to my legs
Oh *******
Why am I here in this cursed forest
I hate this place

The wind starts to blow stronger
Then ever
To my face directly
The woods have given me a warning
To get out of there and don’t come back ever again

Alone in the woods, what’s the worst it will happen

I slide the door open
And saw Aurelia reading a novel
Sitting in the living room
On a summer afternoon

Then a man kicked the front door open
Take out his gun and pulled the trigger
And shot Aurelia right on the forehead
My heart dropped and I Screamed Her Name

Few men came in like a soldier
One of them was the leader
I’m the next target
But I don’t want to be dead

So I pulled out my pistol
Pull, aim and fire
Shot dead all of them
Except the leader, his legs were pierced by my bullet

He looked at me and beg for mercy
But all the hatred and anger has controlled me
I shot his torso twice
And his head three times

I leaned my back on the wall
And slowly sat on the floor
Burnt a Marlboro
And gave my lungs some smoke

I looked at Aurelia’s body
No soul, no emotions and no spirit
Her breathless nose
I had a mental break down

Then my eyes were wide opened
Lying down on my bed
No dead men around the area
No Aurelia
It was just a nightmare
I was scared
It felt so real
So real

Dear Aurelia
Do you still remember
The day when I intended to get my self hurt?
With the two bladed knife I have
That I said it will protect myself
Now I want you to look at my arms
Because of you, there is no more blood, scratch and scars

Dear Aurelia
Even if you are not mine
Or if you never put me in your mind
I still miss you very much
But I can’t say that directly to you, because I have no guts
I’m just a coward
Who did mistakes, sins and dream bigger

Dear Aurelia
When I heard you already have a lover
Who is cooler, smarter and better
The pain in my chest won’t stop until now
My mood goes down down and down
I am now broken-hearted
All the colors I saw slowly turns faded

Dear Aurelia
Listen to my heart for once
By reading my feelings as I poured my emotion into this poem I’ve done

I took my pocket knife
Hold it firmly
And scratched the surface of my skin
In front of Aurelia's naked eye

Her negative aura could be felt
Squimish and the room feels like hell
Her cold stare
Creeps me and makes me scare

In a split second, her hand holds my knife
She opens the blade and scratch her tigh
But I didn't see her bleed
I exhale in relief

“You could’ve bleed if you do that” I warned her
Again, I have to see the cold stare of her

"Why did you cut yourself?" She asked me
"Stress" I answered. Short straight and solid

“Don’t you cut yourself again!”
“If I don’t, what’s it for me then?”

She paused for 5 seconds

“I will cut my self too Peter”
“What?! How about your lover?!”
“Don’t care about him”
The way she said it, she is serious

I paused for a while
Thinking of her lover that gone wild

“You love me right?”
That question, really hits my mind
How did she finds out I carry the torch for her?
How did she knows my heart have her name written?
I panicked
And wishing God to get me killed

Then she continues her question
“As a friend”
My heart beats goes back to normal
And in a low voice I replied “yes”

By the time, I made a promise with an angel
The angel who saved me from the reaper
The angel who prevents me to be burnt in hell
The angel who prevents my family crying on my funeral
The angel that will do the same if I harm myself

It wasn't a seed
It was the demon's egg that was buried
Deeply in my heart
The demon starts to crawl

He grows bigger and bigger
He starts to climb to my ear
The words he whispered
Become louder and louder
"**** him Peter"
"Proof your love to her"
"To hell you put her lover"
"Feel the happines of his crying in his torture"

It can't be
The demon have the control of me
All of these hate
Got me lost in faith

I can't do it
But the tendecies
Grows slowly
And it slowly killing me
But I have to bare it

Because she have the joy in him
Eternal joy it seems
Nothing could break them apart
Because their love is solid and hard

And I fear
To drop her tears
As it slowly dripping
And falls down from her chin

I won't let that happen
And I will fight the demon
Till he dies
Or my heart dies

Her eyes are the same as mine. Black and white, but her eyes have beauty in it
Her long hair. Dyed and shines, falls beautifully behind her back, hanging on her head carelessly
Her smile brings joy in life of mine. I want to be the reason of her happiness. Desprately
Her heart makes me blind. I seek nothing else but an imaginative object that I can't see.

Oh Lord let me kiss her lips and let the addiction kills me
Oh Lord let me see her eyes closely. The eyes that will brighten my life so I could see
Oh Lord hear my jealousy, the seed of my sins that grows in my heart slowly
Oh Lord bring her to me. The thief who stole my heart silently

Dear Lord my Saviour
Bless her and protect her
Dear Lord my Saviour
Hear my prayers for her