You know how I knew I loved you?
I knew because when I looked at you everything seemed right in the world
Everything seemed right if the two of us were together
When I looked at you I could see us dating
and going out to the movies and out for food
I could hear the compliments over how cute we were together
and how much they shipped us...
and I could also see us having a future together
I looked at you and I could see us living in a cozy apartment with a cat
I felt the happiness that being with you brought
I could see us being crazy and doing cute couple things
I even saw the fights we would've gotten into over dumb stuff
and getting through them
I could see us getting married
with a small wedding with all our friends and family
I swear to god I heard our children running and laughing around in the front yard
I saw us together as a happy family
I could feel the joy you made me feel then intensified by a thousand
I could see us always being there for each other and supporting one another
and I saw us growing old together
and traveling the world.
When I looked at you, I could see all the things that would never happen.
I yearned for a future that would never be and craved the idea of having you as my own.
All the things I saw were just daydreams from lonely nights
and rainy afternoons when I had to cuddle with myself because you were never there.
I loved you with all my heart and just hoped
that somehow,
some way my dreams would come true.
this was actually really hard to write