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 May 2021 Fatima Ahmad
Tanya


Yesterday I cried to the moon
as she wiped my tears away
made my worries disappear
so I could sleep again.



Today I smile at the sun
and it shines back on me,
what a wonderful world
to be alive;
to be me.
 May 2021 Fatima Ahmad
Erika
i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much
self care is extremely important. most days I fight my depression by putting smiles onto others faces, but forgetting about my once bright smile.
"The Ocean," she describes,
"Is unlike all else
A second, thriving world
Hidden in itself,

"A universe, an entity,
Stronger than most,
It can't be captured,
Confined, upon any one coast

"It's a playmate, a home,
A source of life,
A breathtaking beauty-
When seen from the side…

"But in the middle of its core
With no land in sight,
The Ocean is treacherous
Even when right

"At any one moment
In the calmest of seas,
A storm can arise
That brings you to your knees

"Tears, screams, fighting,
It won't turn the tides
The Sea churns its own way
Once you are inside

"You can't stop the waves from rolling,
No one can;
You can't cage the currents
Or hold them in your hand,

"The Ocean claims the lives
Of those that dare cross it
And should you look for land
You'll find you've had lost it

"It pulls you in mercilessly,
Cradling, and clawing,
A little of both
In each breath you are drawing,

"It's a life force, and death
The honesty of nature,
Hidden in every shell
Each reef, every fissure

"To be respected, and feared,
A power like no other,"
She looked at her hands,
And she started to shudder.

"Never to be controlled,
But will control us in turn,
The fury of water can scorch us,
Can burn…

"You're never the same,
After you swim,"
She took a breath from explaining,
Conflict, and turmoil, within.

"It's eighty percent of our world,
To some even more,
It gives us all life,
But commands even more

"The only force yet
To be tamed by man,
He doesn't understand
It's path over the sand

"The Ocean," she whispered,
"Is a terrible thing,
Beautiful, miraculous,
But a dangerous dream…

"No hostages, no quarter…
To withstand the journey,
You must have sheer will,
And be just enough crazy

"The Ocean," she said,
"Makes you feel small,
It's bigger than prejudice,
Than reason, than law

"The Ocean," she shivered,
"I only just found,
Is the only thing in this life
As equally profound…

"As love," she breathed,
"And here, as I sit,
Describing its powers,
Am I realizing it…

"So wild, so thrilling,
So dark, so beautiful,
So twisted, so intense,
So 'winner takes all',

"The Ocean is vast,
And as fickle as the heart
And once it catches you
It won't let you part

"Even if you want to…"
A drop of water spills from her eye
Her own bit of Ocean,
Falling from lidded green sky

"Love and the Ocean,
I understand now…
We don't choose how we feel
Nor how the storm howls..."

She describes all this,
On the edge of her boat
If she were to jump
Would she sink… or float?

Would the Sea deem her worthy,
And shelter her from strife?
Or would diving in be the final
Forfeit of her life?

Tear after tear
Fell into the waves
Love flowing,
No cry does she save

"It doesn't matter," she decides,
Falling inside
The coolness, and warmth
Wraps her into the tides

Yes, the Ocean is a force,
Not to be careless of,
But so is the force
Of a woman in love

What happens to her now,
Only the Ocean can say
But until it chooses
Here, she will stay.

And she, nor no one else
Can ever hope to tame…
The wild churning, deep within,
Caused just by his name…
 Nov 2020 Fatima Ahmad
lyka
Bird
 Nov 2020 Fatima Ahmad
lyka
The first time she looked up
She fell in love with the sky
Her heart reaching higher
The only answer was to fly

So she made wings of her heart
Carved dreams into feathers
Bid farewell to earth
And fluttered towards ether

But gravity loved her too
Had no intention to let go
Pulled her firmly to the ground
And broke her wings in woe
 Nov 2020 Fatima Ahmad
Simoné
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
I am haunted:
Not by poltergeist,
but by my unlived lives.
Parallel universes
won't ever speak,
they took an oath
to keep from me.
I have words and voices
humming in my head
that will never be met
outside of my bed.
I have to accept
I cannot have it all,
I have to accept
knowing nothing at all.

— The End —