every day I wake up
and wonder if you will like me
on this particular day

fear encapsulates me
what if today he decides to leave me
what if today he decides to love me
a toss of a coin really

I am casual and a hopeless romantic
I want a life partner and someone for commitment
I believe in soul mates and I believe in you and me
even if it is kinda crazy

I dream about feeling my lips on yours
I image my hear will be beating out of my chest
and my hands with grip your neck
I hope that you touch my face and hair and smile when its over

I dream about you
all the time
good dreams when its going good
and nightmares when its not

This is a story of you and me and these poems I write cement this time in history so I can't deny how I felt about you later. Though if you ever saw these I would surely turn away, embarrassed. The truth is that I want you and I can't ever claim differently.

These fears that terrorize me in the night are coming true

I don't know why I was so naive to think something different would happen this time around

Thinking people have grown in maturity, and they have, and yet they still choose someone else over you

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

I am preparing myself to be let down by you in the next few days, I need to be in the right mindset

It is not easy preparing for someone to break your heart, even when you know its coming

All I wanted was for you to let me in, for a chance to be partners in crime, and I thought that's what we were

It is funny how two people can have different experiences of the same event, I thought things were good.

I don't know why it is so hard for people to say how they feel, I don't know why its so scary

I understand go with the flow and taking it slow but can't you give me a sign its what you want

I can see you, fading away, and I can feel you deciding that I am not for you

If you love someone let them go, if they comeback then they are for you? You have me questioning this

How do you prepare for you heart to be broken...for the second time, by the same person?

Everyone has this checklist in their head
of reasons to have ***
I'm different from my friends
their lists are small and not all requirements need to be met
and thats okay
but mine looks a little different
and thats okay

[  ] Emotional Connection
[  ] Physical Attraction
[  ] Understanding
[  ] Length of Time Known

I'm learning and growing about who I am

I live on Melancholy Hill
A place quite hard to find

I live my life running low on serotonin
The gasoline that makes me go

I will never be fully satisfied
Curiosity and creativity go hand in hand

I stare out over my hill and wait
Always waiting and waiting to be rescued

I live my life in my mind
Talking has never been a strong suit

I sit on my hill with a megaphone
Its the only way I'm heard

I am rarely seen, always listening, and perpetually dying
People forget about me

I am told I have a black soul
Only I like the way it feels

I feel every emotion more than other people
Highly sensitive and dramatic

I know when you're lying
But sometimes I'm wrong

I can't seem to get happy
My happiness depending on others

I have goals and dreams
They are as far away as the stars J loves

I love too deeply
It never gets returned

I am learning to be myself
Doing things because I want to

I walk down my hill and into the the forest
A map has not been supplied

I live on Melancholy Hill
Forever feeling too deeply, Hardly ever happy.

Why have I never come first?

Why do you always make me feel my worst?

Why can't I seem to find someone?

Why didn't you stop it when it all begun?

Why give me a song?

Why did you make me feel like I belong?

Why let me think its going somewhere?

Why are you always in my nightmares?

Why fool me when you already know?

Why can't you let me go?

If you didn't want to see me
you didn't have to lie
If you don't actually like me the same way
you need to let me go
If you want to get back with the other girl
you have to tell me

I can not bear to go on another moment
not knowing if you feel the same way about me
I can not bear to go on another moment
questioning if you actually want to spend time with me
I can not bear to go on another moment
feeling love for someone who loves someone else

I don't know why it is so hard
for people to be honest with each other
about they way that they feel.
Why lead someone on
if you know that they feel something for you?

Why do you let them continue down this path
of unrequited love
and perpetual sorrow
I need to know if you feel the same way about me
or if you will ever
Are you on the path to loving me?

I can deal with being in different places on the same path,
but I can't handle being in a different forest.
You need to tell me where this is going because
I've had enough of unrequited love