You stand by me,
On my darkest days,
Even when I'm trapped,
In a blue haze,
So I want to show you,
What you mean to me,
Open up your eyes,
and make you see,
That I want you closer,
More and more each day,
And I know it seems,
Like I'm pushing you away,
How can I make you see,
When I can't even meet your gaze,
I always lose myself,
Suffocating in the blue haze.

I felt,
My lungs,
Collapse,
My heart,
Stopped,
And all you did,
Was look,
At me,
With blank eyes,
And no thought.

I think about it,
A lot more than I'd like to,
What it felt like,
To be beside you,
I wanted everything to stop,
So that the moment could last forever,
And I know that,
It doesn't sound very clever,
It's a common analogy,
That's been overused,
And I'm sure if you're reading this,
You're unamused.

Maybe they don't care,
Because I'm always,
Lying through my teeth,
Every time they ask,
If I'm okay,
The words come quick,
Because they're programmed,
Behind my lips,
I always say,
I'm doing just fine,
But my fake smile,
Hides my constant denial,
The lies shown on my face,
The words so mechanic,
Driven just the right way,
Always make them think,
I'm okay.

I want to tell you,
Everything,
But I'll never,
Get the chance,
Because,
When I see you,
(Almost never),
The words catch,
In my throat,
My hands,
Won't stop shaking,
And when I look at you,
Your eyes burn me,
Alive.

So purely obscure,
My longing stays,
Hidden from you,
I meet your gaze,
And I am frozen in place,
My thoughts lead me astray,
I try to find the words,
That are locked away,
There are no truths,
In the things I say,
I am always uncertain,
And you look the other way.

I can't stop thinking,
Thinking, thinking,
Thinking,
But my mind feels empty,
I feel empty,
Sinking,
S l o w l y,
I look into my eyes,
And I don't know,
Who's looking,
Back.