why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me

The light shines
Everything is fine
But over time
The light declines

The light grows dim
As the days grow slim
Making my mentality grim
When I feel I can’t win

My plight professor
Says I’m a light obsessor
So my sight is lesser
Given the right pressure
Days of shortened measure

The days grow dimmer
So I can’t find a glimmer
Of hope to cope
With the gradient *****
Of the light being choked

As the shadows grow longer
The darkness grows stronger
And ghosts start to wander
Through my past I ponder

The darkness has replaced
Your beautiful face
With a dimmer embrace
So I can no longer trace
My tie to the human race

The light they’re dimming
To continue sinning
Until the room is spinning
And they’re artificially grinning
Is my light of living
So darkness they’re bringing

Somebody shot the sun
With a tranquilizer gun
Now I’m totally stunned
As the plants are done
Growing as one

The light is dimmed
As I am skinned
By frigid wind
I’m living in

My light completely goes out
As faith loses to doubt
On this tumultuous route
Getting punched in the mouth

Using the wood from the oak tree we met under, we built our bridge.

Bolting pieces together with trust, carefully, and strengthening over time

Creating a once non existent path leading from one spirit to another

Constructed far above a winding river of disloyalty and acrimony

I would meet you in the middle, its weakest point,

and still the bond we built between us would support our insecurities

I was safe with you on our bridge of companionship

I was fearless with you on our bridge of loyalty

We were indestructible on our bridge of unity

So why did I burn it down

the electricity runs through our veins
and past the street signs we rumble by
in the car you stole, we go fifty above the speed limit,
the roof of the car is the noir sky above
and the midnight rain pelts our upturned faces
the dancing drops of water drip onto our smiling lips
the sound of the sky collapsing
echoes the flashes that streak the sky,
the flickering light casts paved roads with a brief brightness
(as if god were wearing light up sketchers)
the lacy brallette that wears me
gives me the bravery to stand up in the speeding car
the velvet pants that ripple with the wind
drink up the nighttime rain
and the rare headlights race past us,
heading into homes and hearts
the mellow playlist that connects the aux cord to our ears blasts
so loud, we can no longer hear our insecurity
the mascara that once clung to my eyelashes
now streams down my face.
on a two way street,
we drive down the middle
unafraid in the face of direct dangers
so unaware of the towering empty skyscrapers
and instead highly exhilarated
from the street signs we drive by
too fast to read the blocky lettering
the road signs glint, smiling as we wave and reach towards them
the cigarettes you smoked are thrown through the open window,
still smothering slightly.
i can still taste the smoke on your lips
and your hand tucks my hair behind my ear
and as the wind objects and inhales
unreal in the hazy a.m. car trip
the tunnel rushes towards us,
and we both hold our breaths,
as if breathing would contaminate us.
the lights that glint, cast a yellow-white glow
and for once, i see you for who you are
a boy too buzzed to feel
a kid who only felt "sort of"
a person who couldn't heal
and a lover who could never give love