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179 · Apr 2021
Obsessive?
Eli Apr 2021
Everytime I see the letter E,
I instantly think of your name.
I can’t stop listening to our songs,
And wondering how they make you feel now.
Would it **** you to spend a little time with me?
178 · Apr 2021
Broken Glass
Eli Apr 2021
green chain link fences
lost dogs foaming at the mouth
blood stains in my carpet
the texts buzzing my phone
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m sorry

over and over again.
i only wanted to make you happy.
169 · Apr 2020
Torn Apart
Eli Apr 2020
I love you
And I could never leave you
Yet I'm so distraught
This pain,
Oh this pain
I'm so distressed
But you can't change the past

But I just can't heal.
167 · Sep 2019
His Girlfriend
Eli Sep 2019
Soft pink socks
Silken hair
Honeydew eyes
Killer stare
Solemn god
Aged wine
Dainty hands
Angelic shine
<3
165 · Nov 2020
the ending
Eli Nov 2020
i was not expecting that our ending,
would make me feel so relieved
i never felt so good before lol
164 · Apr 2021
bright side
Eli Apr 2021
who knew this wasted opportunity,
would reignite the flame,
behind every passion i burnt out?

i cant tell,
if it’s to make me feel better,
or in hopes you’ll find me attractive again.
160 · Nov 2019
His Notification
Eli Nov 2019
the heat that sits in my stomach,
as the gray messages fill my screen,
but in my soul,
in my mind,
they’re refracting rainbows like a cut jewel
<3
158 · Jul 2019
Return
Eli Jul 2019
you know that feeling when you want something to keep going?

or you want to keep trying?

even if it might sting?

hold onto that.

do it.

return.
<3
138 · Sep 2020
.
Eli Sep 2020
.
my colorful insides have never felt so gray
138 · May 2019
take the edge off
Eli May 2019
"you just need something to take the edge off"
take the edge off? no, i think you meant numb.
i hate the surge and rush and the takeoff
i love to hate it, the violent hum
emotions are the gift of the **** stars
i will keep what i earned; fighting for what’s mine
i never want to forget how it feels
to be heartbroken, to be ******* loved,
to be scared, to fight, the rush is unreal
my passion, my hurt is my beloved
dont take the life out of my corpse
take the corpse out of my life
jdjdjdjdjjdd
136 · Apr 2020
Confused
Eli Apr 2020
What am I doing,
crying alone in the dark?
What am I doing,
up at 3 am every single night?
What am I doing,
when I could just talk it out with you?

My world is void without your freckles.
136 · Aug 2019
Dazzling
Eli Aug 2019
Sparkling, shining, brightening
Moving, twisting, bending
Coral roses
<3
135 · Sep 2019
Bloody Bliss
Eli Sep 2019
Why do I like revenge?
Why does the blood that drips down so, satisfying?
Why does watching other people, who’ve pained me, hurt, feel so good?
If we’re supposed to all hold love in our hearts,
Why do some drip black poison?
ngl this one kinda edgy tho
132 · Aug 2019
You
Eli Aug 2019
You
I want to feel pure raw passion
I want to feel burning sensation
I want to feel the stars collide
I want to feel heavens blue fire
I want to feel celestial affection
I want to feel red waves of love crash on my heart
I want to feel the sun licking my skin
I want to feel dazzling white electricity
I want to feel full intimacy
I want to feel you.
<3
124 · Apr 2021
daily writing ???
Eli Apr 2021
I guess                                
I’m back  
                                       at square one,
huh?
T-T
123 · Apr 2021
daily writing 10
Eli Apr 2021
I have so many people who look up to me,
Golden roads underneath my feet,
That I’ve spent years paving,
So many friends that want to support me,

So why do I take it all for granted?
Why do I have these selfish thoughts?
118 · Apr 2020
Shattered Moon
Eli Apr 2020
The pure ripples;
The memories stippled,
The innocence clear;
See-through, but full of fear,
And the beauty,
The beauty of the little things,
Demolished by the bulldozers.
The bulldozers of destruction and change.

But is it a bad thing?
106 · Apr 2020
Contradictions
Eli Apr 2020
Open yourself up
Let them all in
Set boundaries, just hush
The drop of a pin

Which is the right answer?
my therapist tells me to let people in (which gets me hurt) but then tells me to set boundaries.
103 · Feb 2020
Identity
Eli Feb 2020
Who I think I am
Is a detestable
Vindictive
Obnoxious woman
As cold as a white blizzard
Raging on to the roughest mountains
I think I am the murderess
Sheathed in the dark forest
Jolting the tides of its pond
I think I am the uncaring father
Sinning in secret alleys
The most sadistic of killers
Calloused as a fist
Cut as sharp as a jewel

But
Who I really am
Is a confused
Fragile
Indecisive porcelain doll
As breakable as a shattered wine glass
On a wine-stained marble floor
I am the delicate blossom
Of a thorny bush
I am like a pond
Still but shaken
Waiting to show the world around me
That there are crystal shells under the murky water
I am not an insatiable destructive brat
But the scattered flowers of a glass vase
That was shattered by the brat
I had to do this for my English class and decided to share, enjoy
96 · Apr 2020
Don't Come Near Me
Eli Apr 2020
What if I dropped all my dreams and inspirations,
And just became a nonsensical philosophy major?
96 · Apr 2020
Pheonix
Eli Apr 2020
I feel as though I've lived a thousand years,
Experienced all that there is to see,
The blood, the lies, the sweat, the pain, the tears,
Reborn, as year after year seems to flee.
Learned how it feels to rely on others,
Have walked the road entirely alone,
Lived both with and without a real mother,
Learned when love and when hate was to be shown,
Tried out everyone, have done everything,
Figured out who really was a no-go,
Felt the wrath of love, even have a ring,
But learned I do so much better solo,
I feel utter clarity, all lives trashed,
Does that mean it will all finally fade to ash?

— The End —