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Dev Sep 2018
It was fathers day on sunday
And my dad was really happy
he saw two of his grown three boys
I'll be honest it was sappy

And while my brothers were over,
he was indeed always grinning
In all the photos we took
with his grandkids, he was winning

And the most important part
was that he was able
to congratulate his sons on being new fathers
as we all sat to eat at the table

And as soon as everyone left,
he let out a sigh
he heaved himself into his bedroom
so we wouldn't hear him cry

because his third son,
the youngest of his boys
didn't even bother to show up
he was the silence in the noise

his absence was louder than anything
his lack of presence left a hole
and nothing any of us did
could possibly console

Not even a happy fathers day
to the dad who cared for him
and now I think everyone
has lost their faith in him.

And no longer can he blame
his psychopathic partner
because this one's on him
and he's pushed us all farther.

So I hope it was worth it
I hope your day went well
because you're completely different in my eyes
From your pedestal, you've fell (fallen)
Couldn't make the last word rhyme lol
In all honesty do whatever the hell you want. It's like I don't even know you anymore. You goddman deserve her, if she's pulling your strings, and especially if she's not.
194 · May 2020
My thoughts on you
Dev May 2020
When you're not around,
I feel weighted
Like I can barely hold myself up
looking in the mirror.

I feel average,
morose,
usually easily pleased with everything i see
now angered,
ill minded.

It's like I'm bitter,
that I'm not hanging around your
over boyish charm,
your know-it-all attitude,
your breathy voice (especially when it's my name on your lips)
your teasing antics,
your gorgeous smile

and oh god,
does it make me fall apart

I've never had this feeling
Never lost something I never had
Never had a heartbreak
Where I didn't hand him my heart
It's genuinely a baffling feeling

I don't want him,
Because I can't have him,
it's simple.
He's not mine to have,
not a single other way about it.

But somehow,
despite all his flaws,
despite mine,
despite my own raging objections,
When the lightnings striking,
the winds are howling,
and he's just staring at me,
light hitting his eyes and smiling,
I want him.

I'm not familiar with this feeling,
this ache,
this warmth,
the longing

lying in bed,
stretching my hands out,
reaching,
searching,
wishing
for his
My thoughts vs my feelings, my thoughts on you hit the ceiling
but my feelings aren't a real thing
if i feel things i don't really deserve
Dev May 2018
I don’t aspire to be me in my best poem,
Nor do I aspire to be me in my worst.

I aspire to be somewhere in the middle, with 87% of my **** all bundled up neatly in a package, looking after, and loving myself.
Don’t expect too much or too little of yourself, that’s where it gets complicated.
Dev Oct 2018
Sometimes I feel so much
I force myself to cry
Excuse myself from time with my friends
So they don't see the little pieces die
I hide away, shut out the pain
and pour out all these tears
I smash the wall with angry fists
and relinquish all my fears
"And what if I cry too much
and my skin becomes too dry?
I've held onto too many emotions again
even though I really tried"
I tried so hard to control myself
I tried not to overdo it
but in the end, tears always win
And I'll never see through it.
I wish for a day when I could keep it at bay
keep these tears all tucked away
but for now I'll force myself
to cry it all away.
It's only mildly discomforting. Maybe it's punishment, maybe it's coping.
Maybe it's neither.
190 · Apr 2018
Like Glue
Dev Apr 2018
Every bone in my body aches
Long silenced joints whisper and croak
And my muscles shudder in agony

I should have been resting hours ago
But she's stabbed him in the back yet again
So I will stand here and pick up all his pieces.

I will silently plead to him.
Do not go back to her. Do not go back at all.
I will smother him with "that's terrible, I wish I could fix it all for you"

I will tuck him in to sleep,
And give him the restoration he needs.
In faith. In family. In music. In life

I will feed him far more than he needs
Because all he needs now is comfort
And when he says he's going back
I will tell him that it is his choice.

It is his choice to return to a drunken psychopath

It is his choice to love someone who cannot be saved, simply because they don't want to be.

It is his choice to try to save her.

It is his choice to let her run him over, time and time again.

And I will always be here at the ready,
Warm blanket, coffee, and warm meal
In my hands.

Ready to pick up all his pieces and stick him together like glue
For Liam, I'm sorry that things have turned out the same as usual.
I always want the best for you and love you with all my heart...
She may change, she may not. But I will always be here for you.

Love ya big bro.
188 · Mar 2018
Candle
Dev Mar 2018
There is a candle in my heart
I light it every day.

I put my walls up at the start,
so it can glow and flicker away.

Other souls who pass me by,
have nothing of the kind.

The have gusts of wind,
and roaring blows that try to reach within.

I guard my candle carefully
to try and keep it lit

I keep on my toes and dodge the waves
to keep my candle from being hit.

And at every night, when nothings left
but an embers empty glow

I take out my now hollow candle
melted right down low.

I toss it out, in the bin, away
and grab a new one for the brand new day.
I do think of my social energy as a candle, there's only so much of people that I can handle, it runs out quite fast.
187 · May 2018
Special
Dev May 2018
I used to think i was special,
the way my hair curled,
my deep brown eyes,
freckle adorned face.

That was before the
insomnia
the nights filled with
hate and sadness

The only deep thing about my eyes now
is the black shadows under them

My hair is limp, and no longer shines with
a naturally gorgeous golden glow.

my freckles have turned to little scars
the mini battlescars of adolescence.

It hurts, I don't feel special
I don't feel different.
If I'm not unique, am i
just another face in the crowd?

I'm a musician,
theres plenty of those to go round.
I produce my own music
So does the guy next door

How am I different
How can I make myself special again?
I want to be but I don't know how.
I'm just the same as everyone else.

Should I dye my hair again?
Get a piercing on my lip?
Doing that won't make me any different from
the people who gravitate round my lower class 'burb.

Sometimes, it feels like my life is a movie
I wasn't given a script
All i know is I'm here
till the credits roll

Maybe, I'll leave the cinema early,
Leave before the movie really finishes
Wouldn't that be nice?
No one really likes awkward horror films that much anyway.
This was incredibly random.
I sorta like the way it turned out
186 · Jan 2019
n o b o d y™
Dev Jan 2019
Pull me apart and empty me out
Scrape out my ins,
Strip all my outs

Make me a canvas
A blank empty slate
A white piece of paper
For you to create

An ever morphing shape
A never changing personality
An aesthically pleasing piece of art
That feeds of creativity

To all I'm a nobody
Robbed of a heart
Still strong in my mind
Like it was from the start

So when I come back,
Please change my shell
Cos I want to be loved,
Even if it means hell.
*slight nods in the general direction of kh*
Dev Sep 2018
People say the first stop
should always be acceptance
That on the journey to loving yourself
you should accept what you don't like
and just continue on
but they're wrong.
For the first time ever
I've found myself beginning to look in the mirror
See myself, mind, body, soul
and say "Hey,
You aren't so bad."
But that doesn't come from acceptance.
If we accept our flaws, how are we
to change for the better?
If we accept ourselves, as we are,
how are we to ever truly feel
worthy?
You have to work to love yourself,
acceptance is ignorance.
If it's unchangeable, change
your perspective.
If it's changeable,
make the effort
Don't sit idly by
poisoned by the toxic thought of
"I wish things would change for me"
"I wish I was skinnier"
"I wish I was pretty"
"I wish I was different"
"I wish they would love me"
Work to change,
change for the better.
In the end, loving yourself is a journey
not a destination.
And it's the hardest you'll ever have to work
But you're going to do it,
You're going to eventually get on the map,
and on the journey to loving yourself.
This is more a reminder to myself, a reminder to work hard to change the things I don't want to be, to keep working to change for the better. I may never love myself truly, but I'll never stop trying.
182 · Apr 2018
Untitled
Dev Apr 2018
-
opened 21 minutes ago

I finally said it
I finally told you how I felt
I was okay to be your friend
It didn't matter that you didn't want me
The way it is, no, was, is enough.

read 21 minutes ago

No reply

And it hurts all over again
I've ruined everything again
180 · May 2018
tossnturn
Dev May 2018
I can’t sleep when you’re playing with the lights in my head.
This does not sound as cute as it did when I thought of it
177 · Dec 2018
breathe in breathe out
Dev Dec 2018
Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I know it hurts now, but it'll be over soon.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

When it stops, we'll play again, just me and you.

The never ending cycle of everything I loathe,
no time to be myself, no time for shedding cloaks.
Anxiety hits me like a rock, but I can't let them see.
They fall and cry and hurt themselves, and so I must repeat.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

And give a little kiss.

breathe in

breathe out

I want to stay like this.
176 · Sep 2018
Attempted suicide
Dev Sep 2018
Attempted suicide
knocking on the door
all these messages
I hadn't noticed them before
All these different signs
of a troubled, struggling girl
she was just trying to be perfect
for the whole wide ******* world
and no one gave her a break
no one tried to make it easy
They just picked and picked and picked her apart
till she crumbled far too easily
A girl i had grown up with
known to always give you a smile
a girl much like a sister
Who had walked for miles
just to get my christmas present
because the car broke down
and the shops were gonna close,
she didnt want to let me down
A girl who was so tough
and so mighty, and so brave
a girl who tried so hard
tried so hard not to break
And I'm so godamned angry
that I didn't listen more
I didn't listen to her until
attempted suicide knocked on my door
I know it's late now, but I'll be better
174 · Mar 2018
blue eyes
Dev Mar 2018

blue eyes, oh love
how many ways can I describe them?
at night, when we celebrate, they shine like the darkened sea
things hiding just below the surface, full of mystery

in the morning, though you're tired, they sparkle with delight
i look through them, transparent, and i see all your light
the light you try to hide, underneath your sneaky smile
and every time it drops, i see you for a while

and in the afternoon, after hours of hard work,
i see them soften a little, like a toddler, you give cheeky smirk
you look especially dreamy, when the sun just kisses your eyes
and when your lashes flutter, they sing me lullabies

when you're happy oh so happy!
you give a little grin!
your eyes light up and twinkle!
And here I go again.

because try as I may,
to push you from my life,
you come back to me,
with that twinkle in your eyes.

blue eyes, blue eyes,
i can't even begin
to express my love for blue eyes
oh here we go again.
Every time I think I'm over him, I start another poem.


Ah he's like truck who's unconsciously running over me again and again
171 · Nov 2019
Untitled
Dev Nov 2019
Silence eats away at my soul
Which is why I always play a sound track in my head
On the speakers
In the car
Everywhere
And since I met you
Nearly every song reminds me of you
Of some moment we spent together
I can't listen to my favorite bands
I can't listen to my favorite songs
Without thinking of you
And this was okay
You have a girlfriend
I had unrequited feelings that would never see the light of day
And we could just ignore the spark
It was fine
But since I heard those words spill
Out of a drunk girls mouth
I can't look at you properly

"He's cheating on her. Heaps of girls too"

Maybe it's a rumour, I really hope it is.
If it's not, I don't doubt that you'll blame it on your father
If it's not,
I'd rather let the silence eat me away
Than be reminded of you by every single song








I'd rather live in silence
Than listen to songs that remind me of you.
It shows a lot about who you are

It's not okay to do that to somebody
Dev May 2018
I am but a star
in your little galaxy.
just a speck amongst

the planets and moons
and suns that dominate you.
maybe if i leave

you'll notice after
all, it's pretty hard to miss
a supernova
164 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Dev Dec 2018
i am terrified.
completely.
of this being the best it gets.
that I've peaked.
as one of my old friends who i bumped into today put it
i've got my **** together.
and that scares me.
160 · Jun 2018
Let’s dance
Dev Jun 2018
Let’s dance, old friend!
Its really been too long
You met my family all to-night!
You seemed to get along.

Let’s dance, dear friend,
For this privilege, we paid a thou
To waltz and twirl, holding each-other
And then to take a bow

Let’s dance, my friend
But only not soooooo formal!
Of course you’re welcome to loosen up
And act just like normal

But dancing, dear friend
Is treacherous waters
Because we get far far far too close

Your hand left my shoulder, and be-cause
We’re older, I know that it wasn’t
A hoax.

It slipped slipped slipped to
My hip hip hip

Perhaps you were tired of twirling and swirling,
Could no longer sustain your hefty arms
But treading the ice as thin as it is,
You know that does cause me alarm.

Perhaps it was a figment of my imagination
How comfortable you were compared to I
Given our past (though it never did last)
I would’ve have thought you to be far more shy.
159 · Mar 2018
III
Dev Mar 2018
III
Lately, it all hurts
Perhaps I'm just sensitive
To the whole, wide, world.
Haiku, anyone?
Not my forte, if at all anything really is.
Dev Apr 2018
How may I assist you today?
Press one to stab me in the back,
Hang my head like a trophy
Up on your hunters rack

Press two to put me in personal hell
Go for all my friends but me
And somehow manage to
keep me under your spell

Press three just for fun
Say you're there for me then run.
pressing four is a doozy
break my heart while I'm woozy.

Press five if you're late
to simply make my heart ache
press six for the best
Ditch me for the rest.

Press seven for more options
Like you haven't enough already
Just don't forget I'm on the line, keeping count
And so far, your tally's going steady.
158 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Dev Jan 2019
I won't ask for help
It's about time I helped myself
I just don't know where to start
157 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Dev Sep 2018
I thought it was over
the moment he left
I thought it was quick
and had come to and end

little did I know the consequence
of being friends with a man

I thought i was no one
and no one truly cared
about who i was
until he was there

he made me feel beautiful
and acted all deep
and nobody warned me
that he was a creep

I had a scare recently
and i shared with a friend
and all she did was congratulate me
on being with a man

because that's our society
and no one understands
the fear that i felt
when he last held my hands
157 · Apr 2018
Confession
Dev Apr 2018
Confession.
It sounds like a guilty word, doesn't it?
Like if you commit a crime,
or sin against another.

It sounds awful

Confession,
it sounds like a word of betrayal
but I didn't betray her
She has no clue.

And surprisingly,
neither does he.

Confession
It sounds like the words that come
from a pained mans mouth
when he is ready to give up
155 · Jan 2019
heart eyes
Dev Jan 2019
Walking in like you own the place,
Like you're the only one in the room.
Of course, you have a gorgeous face
Just watch me act like a buffoon.
You're a muso, just like I am.
But twice as good and sure
Maybe I might come to like you
Maybe...
you'll be more.
I have a v new v attractive coworker and she's v comfortable around me for some reason. Or she's pretending to be. Just watch as I ***** it up
155 · Oct 2018
October Rain
Dev Oct 2018
Some people say change comes from within
that if you want to change, you will.
Some people say that change
comes with the rain.
That we don't have a choice in the matter,
that mother nature decides when, where, and how
we wash away who we were
and replace it with an entirely new
picture.
I feel as though I'm at the whim of
something I don't even understand.
That nothing is ever the same for
two mornings.
my days are like snowflakes,
completely unique of each other,
yet my evenings are always the same.
I'm never who I was,
and I'm always becoming.
Waiting for that moment where I find
"The Real Me(TM)"
The rain is coming,
and there's no where to run,
so again my little chalk outline is washed away,
to be replaced again with
a new picture.
I love love love love love rain, its the best thing in the world.
155 · Sep 2018
boring
Dev Sep 2018
he was heated and excited
so I gave up all the fight
entertained him for the night
then he just fell asleep.
154 · Mar 2018
Boy
Dev Mar 2018
Boy
Boy, what are you thinking,
you really are just a stranger.
Trying to drag me into a mess,
treading over hidden dangers.

At first it was just us two,
and then I wanted four.
It turned into three
but now you want more.

You're getting greedy and you know it
You keep on trying to hide it
Well it's showing
You just aren't satisfied

Boy, I thought you were sweet
Someone I could eventually really like.
But all this nonsense has me beat,
I don't even know her, so why?

It all got way too complicated
way, way, way too fast
I was in it for the moment
You're just trying to make it last.

It's cool, It's cool, I get it,
you really like my thighs
But to do what you wanna do?
Well, you'd have to get me high.
Just a funny little end to a very simple turned complicated scenario.
152 · Aug 2019
Sleeping with the fishes
Dev Aug 2019
I'm drowning myself,
Anchoring myself to the bottom of the sea.
I've tethered myself to misery, and I could easily slip from the rope
I could easily free myself from the shipwreck of my life
But I'll just take the easy path
And tighten the knot
No longer straining to be free,
Rather yearning to be another lost soul
Sleeping with the fishes
151 · Mar 2018
V
Dev Mar 2018
V

Bruises here,
and bruises there.
Bruises cover
e v e r y w h e r e

And on your ankle
swollen as can be
there is a shadow of
m y s t e r y

Upon your chest,
as bright as a star
there is a scratch, a
b a t t l e s c a r

And now I guess
you should really stop
whingeing about it, it's
a l l     y o u r     f a u l t
149 · May 2018
How to write music
Dev May 2018
~

Fingers trembling,
i softly strum
crinkling the paper, on which reads
What have I become?

A sacrifice is to be made,
one of dignity and creativity
Something must die
To salvage my sanity

First you find the chords
That hurt you the most,
the ones that become you
Like a virus, infecting the host.

And then, label this second
you find your own beat
the one that changes the mood a little,
so it isnt so bleak.

Thirdly, you'll add
poetry to match
words that sooth your soul
and for others to catch

Finally, a melody
of softly strung tears
the kind that is so subtle
to relay your fears

After that, you're done.
You're finished, all through.
You'll start again and wonder
who are you?


~
I had a friend ask me how I write music, and this came from that
148 · Oct 2018
• calm melodies •
Dev Oct 2018
It's a funny thing,
plucking four little strings
stringing together harmonies.
when all your life is but
frantic chaos
you learn to appreciate calm melodies.
i love my ukulele <3
148 · Sep 2018
friendship
Dev Sep 2018
Is it measured in photos
that you take all together?
Is it measured in moments
captured, immortalised forever?
Is it measured in numbers
on my own Facebook profile?
Is it measured in hearts
on my Instagram story?
Is it measured in coolness
when you hang with the "crew"?
Is it measured by how you all look
when others see you?
Is it measured by unplanned days
hanging out and having fun?
Is it measured in decibels
of laughter in the sun?
Is it measured by phone calls
when you need each other?
Is it measured by the love
that you all hold for one another?
Is friendship measured by strictly tangible means?
Or is it measured by all of these things?
And if by chance, that friend should no longer be near,
would all that it's measured disappear?
148 · Jul 2018
lonely
Dev Jul 2018
I am lonely,
for the first time in my life
I am well and truly
lonely.

I long for human connection
to inspire me
feed my creativity
make me whole

It is barely past
the beginning of my
new beginning
and I'm lonely.

I already miss my companions
even though
nothing has changed for them
everythings changed for me

I'm so lonely
but I have to deal
because I made this choice
and I'll be ****** if I prove them right,
147 · Jun 2018
I hate you
Dev Jun 2018
I hate your cocky smile,
Your crinkly eyes,
Masquerading, facading face.
Stormy yet crystal clear azure eyes.
I hate it all.





I’m glad you’re with her.
No I’m not.


Sometimes the best way to vent is to completely lie.
147 · Jun 2018
infatuation
Dev Jun 2018
Infatuation is...
not a blessing

It disguises itself as love
parades as an obsession.

Infatuation is...
such a hazard

It fills you with bliss and ecstasy
until it all goes awry.

Infatuation is...
heartbreak and agony

It fills you with dread and acrimony
shortens your days, lengthens your nights.

Forgive me, I have been foolish.
Infatuation has masqueraded too many times
as love.
I always let my naivety get the better of me
147 · Nov 2019
Moments
Dev Nov 2019
Sitting here in the silence,
We're comfortable.
It's not something to take for granted
When you have the social skills of a cucumber
But here it is, the moment.
The moment where parks and rec is playing on the TV,
You're telling me all these different little facts about the characters and storyline as you tug and hog the blanket.
I smile and laugh and we watch together
Before I even contemplate turning my head
I know your eyes are there
I know you're looking at me
I know you have a stupid grin on your face cause you're glad you showed me something I enjoyed.
I can feel your stare burning into me, and I know I shouldn't because of the state we're both in but despite my better judgement
I turn and look into your eyes
And you don't look away
And for a moment, I forget the circumstances
For a moment, looking at you
I'm completely and utterly lost
So I diffuse the only way I know how
I stick my tongue out at you
I call you a loser and smack you on the arm
Chewing you out for distracting me.
And honestly all I need,
All I want
Is this
These little moments
With you
145 · Mar 2019
cliché
Dev Mar 2019
Doubting all my reasons,
changing like the seasons
it's cliché I know.
I don't want to rhyme,
but I'm running out of time.
And my fuse is getting short.
I'm about to blow.
And I assure you,
I'm not trying to be
a walking talking cliché,
but it's not my fault!!!
Personally, I blame my parents.
:)
145 · Mar 2018
VII
Dev Mar 2018
VII
Touch my cheek again,
Let's see if your breath stops halfway through your throat like time is frozen.
Like mine did.

Brush my knee again,
And watch as the hairs on my legs rise, and goosebumps pop up haphazardly to say hello
Because- oh my god, what am I doing

And turn away again,
Because saying that sentence has snapped you out of a trance, and you've realized again.
I'm not her. And trust me, it hurts me just as much.

Then leave again,
Let me wonder why I ever let you into my heart, just to watch it shatter into a thousand crimson drops as you exit.
But this time?
Don't come back.
If you're here, be here for good.
144 · Jun 2018
everything but nothing
Dev Jun 2018
Isn't it fascinating
                          how one little sound
                                               changes everything.
                         how one simple touch
            can ruin
all of it
we were everything and nothing all at once in that moment, but then you chose the latter.
144 · Mar 2018
Dark
Dev Mar 2018
Stark white
Bright, like the morning sun.
Comfortable, yet unnerving

Pitch black
Dark, like the forest at 3am
Deep, and unknowing



There was never a gray spot.



You have changed.



Dark like me.
Her.
143 · Mar 2018
Masterpiece
Dev Mar 2018
She was a masterpiece,
Colours exploding all over the page,
In a graceful, tender, loving position
It almost made me miss her.
141 · Feb 2018
Darling
Dev Feb 2018
Look out your window, darling.
There's a whole world sitting there just for you.
Can't you see it?

If only you'd turn away,
Turn away my darling!
Turn away from that book you've buried your head in!

If you'd just listen!
Hear what I say!
Do it my way, darling!

Oh my darling, why won't you look?
For heavens' sake! Don't repeat my mistake,
for I never did gaze upon the world.

I buried my head in that book,
I buried my thoughts in that music,
I buried my heart in the boy.

Years have flown by,
I have lived safely,
but I have stayed within confinement!

These four walls!
All white and dreary, my darling!
Can't you see the trees billowing outside?

Life is too short, darling!
Please, take a wander down the jostling street.
At least look out your window!

Look out your window, darling.
The sun is coming up.
Can't you see it?
The sort of thing my grandmother used to say, I'm sure you've heard it before from someone.
140 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Dev Feb 2019
if you were here,

          would you be disappointed?
Who am I kidding, ofc you would be
140 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Dev Oct 2018
If I were to write you a letter,
fill it with sparkles, and happiness
and a hundred smiles
would it matter that all it read on the inside
was that I don't care anymore?
If all you perceive it to be is love
and affection
to feed your ego and attention
would it matter that the meaning of it was


could you kindly *******?
140 · Feb 2018
Note
Dev Feb 2018

Line by line,
Stroke by stroke,
It is high time I wrote this note.

This arrangement of letters
to words on a page
To explain why from this world I disengage.

To explain how I felt when you held my hand
And how it was from the moment we ran.
But we started too late and now here I am
Writing this note with the very same hand.

Truth be told, I hope no one ever sees
The note on which I have diseased
with my poisonous thoughts.
Perhaps I should leave.

But what kind of friend leaves without a note?
No piece of paper on which they have wrote
A note excusing why this is what they chose?

But what does it matter if I even try,
At any given moment, we all live or die.
And if that makes you sad, go ahead. Go on, cry.
A note with an excuse, is a note with a lie.
140 · Mar 2018
Lonely Girl
Dev Mar 2018
At first glance,
It's a mirror.
I, on one side,
she, on the other.

But as you peer closer,
and over the sink,
you'll start to realise
it's not what you think.

She is so graceful,
carefully crafted.
She would never think so,
but then, she's a *******.

She takes off her shoes,
Just to walk on broken glass
And sometimes she decides
To stick her head up her ***.

She's beautiful and sweet,
Don't get me wrong,
Cause even after all this time,
She's my favorite song.

She complex and odd,
And so completely normal
It's hard to think
She could be so casual, and yet so formal.

And I know my timings off,
But I really gotta say
She the most wonderful person I know,
At least, as of today.

She's caring and sweet,
But she can be a huge *****,
But don't you worry, if you're unravelling,
She's the stitch.

She's calm and collected,
With warm eyes and a cold smile
Have I mentioned she's a contradiction?
But she's worth the while.

But just make sure
That you look underneath,
Cause she hides in there,
It's her relief.

Part the curtains of jet black hair,
Dodge the freckle bullets, you're nearly there.
Wipe off her mask with the back of your hand,
And there, just a lonely girl stands.

And lonely girl is
still so lovely,
She doesn't fuss much,
She's completely motherly.

Inside imperfect girl,
Right there, within
Is why she's imperfect
Call it her original sin.
Ok it's 3 am and the point kind of got away from me. The heart of this piece is that, lonely girl maybe lonely, but her kindness and compassion comes from that one thing that no one sees, because more often than not, no one cares enough. But I see, and I care so take that!
140 · Apr 2018
Miss You
Dev Apr 2018
I wanted to talk to you today
It was sad and funny
I already miss you
and I know you'll read this

I walked into a rose bush,
And now I have scars that match you on my leg and arm
It just reminded me
That I really do miss you.

Maybe you're relieved in a sense, like I am
That we're not lying to each other anymore
And despite the many, many flaws of our friendship
I hope you do miss me.

I got some bad news the other day,
I saw a meme too
And I almost, almost slipped up
Because I so very much miss you

But please, remember like I am trying to
Space is what we need
Low expectations, easy to manage
Even if I miss you

If you need me, I'm here
I'm so not used to having to say that to you
But I need you to understand
You don't have to miss me,

'Cos I'll already be there for you.
I just want you to know I'm always here, even if we're not talking.

No matter what.
Dev Aug 2019
Callous fingers, throbbing blindly
I could easily give it up, but I like the pain
Give me something that eases me like this
And I'll take your wisdom on board
Readily, I brace myself
Even though I know I've lost that pain
The pain of smoke pushing through healthy lungs, now turned
The pain of smoke burning my lips, tongue, throat
Eventually settling down in the deepest parts of me
Soothing my soul
139 · Apr 2018
help me
Dev Apr 2018
help me
for I am drowning in your eyes
and you have yet
to offer me a lifeline
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