Ain't none of my ****** drugs cut
And every other word I say is ****

**** my head
And **** my life
Better off dead
But I'm still alive
Maybe I should spend more time in bed
Instead I'm out late getting high

I think I'm ****** in the head
Back In the day I knew this kid
Who would sit all alone and just read
Well now that kids ****** dead
I killed him ****** should've hid
Instead I beat him till the world turned red

Now he sits all alone snorting **** that ***** up his head
I swear to ****** god I'd be better off dead

But alive I am so whether an ounce or a gram
You'll find me on the glass noose in my hand

I'm gonna die soon all alone
Livin by myself and in my bones
I know I'm gonna die alone
My voice is stuck in a monotone

My soul has no tone its all gray
A boring voice with nothing to say
My heart can't take work and no play
While I'm growing older every may

Running out the clock, need more time
Losing out cause I need overtime
Just put me in a light that's lime
All this pain, what I let out in rhyme

Rinse and repeat and take my seat
Cut into the meat my mouth feels heat
Of a bitter treat sickly sweet
Digress and digest when we meet
No duress when you suggest we eat
Over a meal ideas compete without a defeat

I could have been saved a...
.long
..long
...long
Time ago

But now it's time to go
And I know what to do
Do
D
..do
It comes back to you
To you
..you

Tick tock another second gained your life arranged
Clocks abound framed and bound forward marched
Now tense is present where sensation moans
Passion over sense actions set into stone
How many will reach us when thrown
And reach the seed that will be grown

Freedom isn't free and I doubt you can afford the fee
A million for entry and a billion to be a VIP
Be gentry or seethe in envy as your tank hits empty

Hey let's all do some shots
I thought about it a lot
And the answer is a shot

Whiskey or lead both **** the thoughts

The family only ever hit me up for some money
Never gave a hand out they'd only bite it, its funny
A broken home, all claimin blood thicker but its runny
Never felt love I feel the rain even when its sunny

My father addicted to the pills and quick thrills
Drunk eyes vacant glazed over one day this will
**** he will leave me so I left him up on the sill
We don't speak no more cuz he just keeps poppin pills

My uncle the funniest coolest of guys
He robbed me and left me with lies
On me he pulled out the gun and knives
We meet it'll be the end of one of our lives

My aunt found happiness in a bottle
Her my grandmother would coddle
Her who would steal to sip from the bottle
Lost her kindness and heart now she wobbles

My mother whom I loved so dearly
Kicked me out and made me see clearly
Love isn't for me I know now sincerely
Even now I know she feels so guilty

My grandmother bipolar love disorder
Her love was always stuck on the border
But never for me did it ever falter
For the rest, though she was an enabler

Cousins addicted to **** and to theft
So many reasons for why I left
But now I just feel completely bereft
No family anymore their final theft

**** technology **** the progress
Give eulogy's on how its all a must
Your using me and I feel we have regressed
I study I work I made a dollar for twice what makes two
I'm ready I can start tomorrow for half price and die tomorrow
I wanted to do what others do work and get a home
Learned that I will work to the bone
And still have to take a **** loan
I made minimum wage at ******* twentytwo
My skills are trigonometry and construction to name a few
I am used and abused only ever worked to lose
So ******* I got nothing to lose
So ******* lets get some ***** 
Ten an hour to build a house from the ground up
All of my power all of my will and some say I'm stuck up
I'm embarrassed this is my only choice what a set up
My pride a joke my skills left me broke
Of every attempt loss has spoke
Top of the class, high IQ, what a ****** joke
I live in poverty
Rent a ratty property
And die in my poetry

Hope swirls round and round the holes in my head.
Heart pulses pound  pound as I roll in my bed.

What do I live for? What do I die for?
Do I want more? What would it be for?

Just trying to close my eyes but I'm in the deep end again
Just trying to lose my sighs but I'm depressed and its a drain

I'm golden and jaded a dreaded choker round the neck
Rhymes sodden, faded, and overstated what a wreck

Maybe feign my death just close my eyes and finally rest
A baby cryin for breath so sözel; lies sandy easily infest

Every nook of life filled with uncomfortable grains
The ground shook as I lied with comfortable pains

Dreams tainted by the course of age
I've acted like the prince but stood as a page
Thought my rage was past tense but I don't change

Expectations of respect but I'm not royalty
And I still stand with all my hate and loyalty
Sleeping soundly and when I wake its regrettably

My waking life is spent as a constant
Eyes closed with dark bags tired my countenance
A need to be a man of substance, a brain with content

It drives me to escape and sleep all day long
Life on my word the path of pain where have I gone
Burn in the night to escape the change will never come

Always I seek the validation of respect
Only break is sleep some stolen moments
Born poor and envious my life is one I reject

Heart beats in indigo even as it lets go
Dark and bruised still I will always grow
No need for an escrow when I rest it all goes

Clearly its as clear as the clear sky in my smog covered city
Quickly step lightly grip it tightly gotta always be ready

Down an alley watchin for the rabid dog
Drifters drown in an alley hidden in fog

People drift swayin side to side
Pigs adrift bayin outside

People chasin the dragon slide to slide
Pigs watch the slides off to the sides

Everyone just here for the moment a short ride
Haven't realized the dream done gone and died

Shot dead by the justices and those above us
Law said to trust us dreams are dangerous

So scramble for bread don't lose your head
Don't look ahead, eyes closed or they behead

Feed drips slow, starving animals cant grow
A seed is sown then grown, stolen by the crow

Up above lookin down on any below
And we all keepin it on the down low

Stolen dreams, stolen future, broken peasants
Takin dreams and future, life is so pleasant

For the top floor residents
For the criminal president

Knowin there is no consequence for the kings
Slap the hands and for prominence, the bars swing

Bad thoughts so many that I get lost
I thought of something once but I forgot
Ghosts haunt my brain crawling like maggots in soup
I am a gracious host to each and every parasite that roosts
Feed them posts as they crawl through sites tying a noose

I get drunk just to pass the time
Sunk to low now whats the rhyme
Not cold out but my face is numb
Am I bold or just ******* dumb

Through a portal, indigo swirls outta volcano
Erupts in Eyjafjallajökull lava flows to the core go
Down below rests angry god Quetzalcoatl
Rhymes on tap no bottle off they rattle
Like those southerner rattler snakes
Sheddin words better than dandruff flakes
Weddin phrases better than catholic Primates
Ancient titles dustier the desert around Euphrates
Files in piles get higher down comes a wire no waits
Paypal cash transfer launder from feds to white sheets
White washers in backwaters sponsored by red cysts
****** wishes in defeat losers too justice
Equal rights, they weep never wanted this
Protests against it in streets in the winds they ****
In Texas first in race to govern to oppress colors
Heaters out to greet ya like 'ello guv'nor
Deport you like a foreigner sent over Charons border
Memoir of the late lead hoarder aka bullet holster
Noir black and white gore at the scene of the ******
A disaster all over white plaster red drips faster
Turn brown oxidize on the alabaster

Like police hound dogs diggin up dirt
Breakin ground, pigs investigatin perps
****** hands communicatin my flirtin
Death my mistress her fat *** flauntin
Backseat body of a rat with no brain
Plastic blanky keep out a ****** stain

No stressin cuz this is an insoluble coppers caper
The evidence insubstantial cause improbable no paper
Trails lead nowhere 21st century jack wheres the ripper
Case put to bed, outta here, Marth hit em with the tipper
Cold lead, cold case, acid laced body lie in lye face melter

Shadowy alleys Sirius Black disappear in dark smoke
In the valley all serious never laughs like a bad joke
Anotha body add to the tally dead how they woke
Harry with the kedavra another cadaver in my ice box
Somebody actin funny call me make a runny neck +

Crimes stackin Jack Sparrow with the dirt
Moses with the staff I make rivers part
Stiletto in hand now your kidney hurt
Cop car chasin in circles never closer, roundabout
Tooth fairy molar pullin to messy burned my shirt
Villain of the story big bad wolf eatin your heart

Twist the tales till I am the hero
Zero steps from the spiral

Of lies and half truths
Pies and words to soothe

Words flow through a sieve
Sounds make others believe

In me and in my way
Free too sit and stay
Toll to walk away
Stay away is what I say

Say you oughta give me life
And leave me an extra slice
Maybe pass me your spice
And I'll give my lie

Tall stories with that go deep
Below the water and seep

When you weep and Im the cause
With my words I'll give you pause

Was I really the cause of your flaws
Gullibility lost your throat to my jaw

Who cares if you exist if all you've ever done is subsist
The stars were deaf to each wish too far gone in the cosmic
The liars left in the breach of void and ozone lost in a deposit
Beggar bereft nothing left said "Soon its all gone, don't forget it"
Sands shift castles built brick by brick torn down in a second
Sink quick if you let it **** you down but its not the intent
Just the nature of life its sick and quick soon your heaven sent

Floating in the ocean of emotion
Lose myself in slow motion
Body feels the flow and erosion

Use oxytocin and psilocybin
To polish off the corrosion
Feelin the rocking emotion

Doing all the wrong things seeking all the thrills
You know exactly what I mean
Its all found as it leaks from the seams with dollar bills
It's all exactly what is seems
Young suicidals going out without a hollow point
Ravers, molly, and lean
Pass the codeine left in a dream don't follow him out

The picture is the youth left in the cracks given no place
Filled with resentment and hate
Sutured with blue bullets and red stains divided by race
Shoot then get a statement
Die paying rent or Die sleeping on pavement
Misery is the raiment
Cut from peasant cloth life is the sentence

Maybe the next media personality has the answers we seek
Or maybe the next fatality
Wish we didn't live in reality TV in the middle everyone acts weak
Just clutching onto stability
While losing touch with sanity okay with atrocity when we cull the meek
To any we swear fealty
As long I get affordability then forget about our modern day slavery

Rotten teeth, family dead because of premiums
Still they sleep
Plotting robbery cause the family has needs
Like food to eat
Only then does help come for the victims
Cops on the beat
Track down criminals that scare the suburbans

Aren't we scary in these streets, so scary in this hell
But the demons weep
Brought to our knees some fall some just don't hear the bell
Guns and death on TV
Are these the answers given to me should I do as they tell
Crime, drugs, and ******
Taught the only outs are body bags and prison cells

Live your life don't look up to mine
Life on a knife edge, life of a slime
And yet you said its gold when its grime
Parts of my soul sold while you drank wine
Need to fold before confusing glamour an pain

I'm not your role model not a person to follow
Enjoy your parents who coddle with silver bottles
Be thankful you never huddled alone left below
Its hurtful that you wanted to go into the only things I know
My path is lonely with woe my strength is just built from blows

Those traits you seek created by fates I wouldn't wish on snakes
My wits were gained by survival of being out in alleys late
Strength from the desperate struggle of being born a mistake
Will of rusted iron from a life on my lonesome with it all at stake
Will you throw away happiness and family to be a copy and a fake

I became so strong, after all this time
But its been so long, since I was fine

I don't weep no more
Just sleep a lot more

I faced all my fears, but regret still tries to haunt
After all these years, I have no regrets that daunt

Always reliably confident
Ever the reliable confidant

Trusted by all my peers, trusted by myself
Failure to those peers, will leave me by myself

Weakness I will not permit
A luxury I don't get

Weakness in my past, has left me all alone
Friends never last, when I cant stand on my own

But now I'm so strong
And they all came along

Friends never last, but they all came back
I am steadfast, so stay and don't go back

I wont ask you for support
I can carry my own heart

I can carry mine, and I can carry yours
I'll be just fine, be my friend I'll be yours

Broken cadence lost in silence
Soaked-en radiance a bit intense
And for all intents ride the fence
Things don't make sense,
They don't make sense

Even after all the sin I've never been one to repent
Another win but is it heaven sent or am I hell bent
Patron only of mine tonight I dine well on fine print

I was born to lose a natural made failure and often a killer
Sworn in by those unnaturally old and grand figures my owners
Fathers and mothers how many figures were made at the altar
When the sons and daughters were sacrificed did any falter
Did anyone care to do more than pose and posture
As you marched the future off to the slaughter

Heart or a feather yours always seems heavier
If its not clear I'll cut the prose and be clear
Our elders hit it big and sold us up the river

**** I think this might be the end
Do you want it, do you need a hand
Applause ****** and roar across the land

Take the hand and bite chew it up and ask do I spit or do I swallow
Lost in sound all night threw it up in a mask taste the spit and bile

Hey stop whats that sound look whats goin round
its ashes to ashes and I keep falling down

The abyss screams at me and I scream silently
No seams left to bust everyone watches intently

Will he stay or will he go
The thread frays when will he die
Its okay no one will know

I didn't have chains on myself
Free to move about a empty shelf
Free of brain free of wealth
Cleaned off in the rain was free of health
Till I got a job to be free of death

Boss told me "Fill the shelf"
And restocked my empty self

Filled it with Doritos and plastic
Try not to seem unenthusiastic
At lunch eat taquitos that taste toxic
Feel my chest melt, works so caustic

Chains on my body tied by checks
Money to tide me over till the next
Trade my time and self respect
For my chains and my checks

Do it to chain myself to safety I suspect

The words enter you face
And replace its empty place
What a waste

A time to be forgotten best left unspoken
Like fission or economics after the cokes in
Playbook bitten by suits when they clock in
A fluke when reservoirs lack poison

Some people deserve it all that's what I was taught
Some are better at birth and some people I am not
Have you seen the sun its in their pockets
Will your sons be born as the have nots

Death sentences at birth and that's not abortion
Sayeth the zipcodes your worth and your position
Don't be born worthless or your portions starvation
Dont be luckless because lessons show chance is salvation

Praise god of the latter day the lord of us
I said praise the status and praise the money
In the land of plenty our lives are before us
Can you lend me god I could use a twenty

Ive got no antidotes for your sickness
No anecdote to solve your distress
I can poison your soul and ease your pain
An escape from prison driving you insane
You'll cope with each ministration of novacaine

In life it's only worth dying so come along
Time to return to earth listen to the siren song
You won't feel lonely you'll feel nothing at all
It'll be your one and only just give me a call
I'll sell you one and more till you have your fill

Does it ease the hurt or set it alight
Leave your heart beat weak and quiet
If that's your taste I can prescribe
A state you just can't describe
"A waste of love" a tombstone inscribes

Say I'm unambitious but I just wanna be rich
Wanna feel something before I'm left in a ditch
A pure love nestled in my heart but life's a *****
So long since I was able to feel a tender touch

My stony heart lacks the sense of feeling
Barely call its beating a state of being
Clay in the shape of a man pretending
That what it does is really living

Depending on my addictions for some purpose
Lifeless without it lost conviction and focus
Burn resin and scrape glass live to the fullest
Madness is manic, uppers to heaven to be blessed

Conceit lets me do as I please, find pleasure find release
Deplete my mania, A choir singing to my pulse
Love and passion ringing within a erratic beat
Sorrow leaks from lesions as my flesh lets loose

I can't see I have lost my sight along with my rights
These chains are holding me tight makes me feel alright
In my brain is a cage with a prisoner who says hes a sage
Wonders why hes caged, but I see in his eyes hateful rage

I am just a product of the chemicals I take
Defective product who will barely wake
It doesn't make only here for its own sake
A cheap product that is soon to break

But faulty as I may be the drugs make me feel alright
The smoke in my lungs pulls me through the long night
Even when it chokes me It make me feel less lonely
I know its not really healthy but the choice is mine solely

I have given in to it fully this folly it makes me happy
Makes my cold heart feel sappy a state I want to be
How long since I felt it naturally, years ago maybe
Its just a distant memory that warmth coming to me

Used to throw myself into fiction but story's never saved me
Now I give myself to addiction cause hero's are all  2-D
My brain needs the correction and all it cost me was a small fee
A piece of my mind, piece of my time, piece of my sanity

Then I'm Free

Wonder when I wont have anymore to say
Is that when I will finally fade away
Wonder if anyone will care to say
Another word of me when I pass away

Life whats the cost, yeah whats the cost
Is it all I've lost, yeah its all I've lost
Keep the lights on, pay that bill
Where's the food gone, musta ate my fill
Lights on in the loft, food gone I'm growin soft

I grew up in the radiation of the city sun
Long work weeks and shoplifting city fun
Grinding gears and hamster wheels to run
Getting to the city maybe I jumped the gun

Wanted to kick it in style out of the wild
Got kicked to the curb and put on file
Put to work washing up a dish pile
Customer pleasing and greeting for awhile

Till my custom became scraping for greenery
Money fields where I toil lost a harvest to robbery
Green fields smoked it for miles burnin some shrubbery
To make my life smile for a little while then back to drudgery

And maybe I hold a grudge but who are you to judge
Lived my life harder partying in the mud and sludge
Lost my mind in the rain to a psychedelic deluge
Lived my life harder crying in the mud and the sludge

Even now that I've gone across the pond
And it all couldn't be further
My past still holds a strong bond
To my habits and murmurs

Life whats the cost, yeah whats the cost
Is it all I've lost, yeah its all I've lost
But I'm glad I'm able to grow fat and soft
Even if the past is still haunting this ghost

To soon
It flows back
My own monsoon
Entry through the cracks
I sink, water rises
Stop think, must stop the crisis
Passing thoughts not enough to float
All this depth makes it so hard to breath
So many holes in the hull, stay afloat
Sail while bailing out in the water reflects death
I jump overboard not going down with the boat
Never thought that my life would become a shibboleth
Gasp on as with the strange tides even death may die, a misquote

Nothing numbs the pain it aches in my brain
Blades scrape across skin trace lines where its been
Maybe its cuz of a world of sin things dont feel the same
A baby dead in the crib and the ones to blame
Own a world and live like gods in private planes
Maybe its my life of sin I dont feel the same
In the rain and in the sun it all feels the same
Don't feel the same, since when?
Since pandemic, since panic, since eighteen, since then
Since I lost it been manic became an addict bordering on fiend
Failed to be apathetic others can I don't get it so I lost friends
So I would lend when I knew should just let it end
Feels like the end a relationship moulder when they dont tend
Nothing left to send just a cold shoulder left for them
Permanent damage my back covered by scars got like ten
Permanently in a stage of bein worried, what if? and when
Sanity nonexistant in this late stage game of monopoly
Sever me this instant my heart cant take living in a colony
Only thing I'm passionate about is ending despondency
Don't care what its all about just let me out, no apology's
Their unnecessary like post mortem biography's    
Less remembered of me the better erase my chronology
Better to have erased my history in its entirety
Every letter off the face, because I'm tired of me

Sippin from the bottle, Slippin off the throttle
Strippin Inhibition, Wobble out the hovel

**** the facts fictions in the diction
****** win that's the corporate mission
They want whats best that's a lie of omission

Up at midnight do you feel alright
Its another fight isn't that right

It's late and you've gone too far
It's alright  your just bleeding tar

Track marks and wide eyes
See stars and their dead lies

Rob your nephew, Your his hero
You need it more, in the end though

You feel regret but the pills make it okay
Burnt foil follows wherever you stay

You hate the dismay and pity in his eyes
You cant feel okay that pill will get you high

And when you fall you'll die alone
No more friends no  more home

The more I lose the more I want
Worker drone nine to five an ant
Hard work and work ethics I'm at
Through these get what I want I cant
But what is the precedent
To follow for dead presidents
When this ******* is where I'm resident
When the filthy are filthy rich, the poor get bent
If it's given then my soul is collateral for the lent
Few years time a fortune robbed by the rent
But if I robbed the rich my life through bars spent
Slumlords lord over the country of hell we're sent
Born on the wrong rock nowhere to be went
The more that is taken the more complacent
People remain so ******* complacent
Because what can we do when heavens vacant
Patiently make payments to live as a patient
The right to live must be bought in this nation
Everyday suffer the degradation the debasement
How can we change it maybe start a riot radical agent
But we live thinking its all fine it'll all be fine so we cant
Pacified we watch people die right in front
But change no we just won't
Too scared so we just won't
Too dumb and numb our morals are absent
To **** a killer to protect another so adolescent
Being hopeful of future and change so adolescent
I want happiness I want freedom I want
To live for more than a check is what I want
To not live my life check to check is what I want
To live free of the heel on my throat, I want
To see others care for others, what I want
Is so selfish cause I want it all

A pack of monkeys throwing stones
Tribes of savages turn each other to bones
Gunpowder wizards usurp the world's throne
Imperial nations elevate off mass graves and wars won

Every face the same humans revealed their nature
Bared fangs base things and ******* masks hide a future
Monstrous acts with a spot of tea, putrid culture
Secede across the sea, manifest genocide and scalpers

Oh the humanity, where we swear fealty
To any who can make the biggest red sea
Sanity is subjective and as far as I can see
No animal will ever act logically

I've inflicted pain and I called down the rains
I did it in the name of the cause that I claim
So why do you exist, why do you do the same?
Everyone is the same we all have a cause to claim

Will we ever evolve past this point of no return
How do you teach a people who cannot learn
Truly this world is what humanity has earned
Blood and ash that won't last we all get our turn

I don't have a reason
Into oblivion I ease in
Darkness is in season
To claim purpose is treason

The hall burns over us
To stay warm is enough
Breath in ash taste the rust
The house is coal black and unjust

Cracked pavement on the road
Roaches in apartments pay the toad
Thieves who can't afford a code
Slaves until were choked

Freedom is owned land
Trespassers will be shot
Kingdom of greed always the plan
Envy is all the rest have got

You are what you eat
So lets eat the wealth
Blue blooded meat
Its good for my health

Hate is the only reason afforded
The only emotion and I own it
Want the kings to eat lead
Like Caligula's head

all overboard
Soon we'll all be dead
we came unmoored
And fell into dread
the captain said
Don't lose your head

Crashed and can't burn
a wet pathogen
Let's all breathe in turns
nothings learned
Just more meat to churn
no one will mourn

Friend of mine lost his mind
Line by line  he left it behind
And he left me in kind

Burnt brain, burnt foil
Emotion came to boil
Turned black as oil

Laughter died long after the eyes
The lies he plied were just a guise
Never wise in a bed of maggots and flies

We're just kids at war with the gods
Prometheus's fire against the odds
Minimum wages, working at a loss
Burnt pages years of historys lost
Taught nothing over information they gloss
Comic how easy it is to mislead like stone toss
Red states uneducate so tell me whats the cost
Gerrymander why even participate its run by Faust
In the gutter liquor flows in better off gettin smashed
We getting sicker while kids in camps atleast they aint gassed
Cutting medicaid so a ceo gets paid as an employee is slashed
Living in a democracy so fashionable but whys the fit feel so fash
Dying to make the cash and the middle class they aint gonna last
Protesting the past we marching at last the reply is the whips lash
Wage slaving still a living, but now wages to make without class
Daddy hand me down jobs while Joe workers are called slobs
He told me the narratives administered the sedatives from tweets
Its not true just read wiki leaks even silenced the truth speaks
Quarantined for weeks I hear the system creak
Pressurized heres the heat matter of time till the crack
Said something got a rapsheet said somethin skulls cracked
They treat us like rats and got is in a corner backed
Surprised we bit back now their brains racked
Cause we out of line off track our minds plagued
Kings agreed with Tupac violence is their comeuppance
Peace failed so citys are sacked a conscience with no compliance
Leases pulled so streets are packed and tense to much to rinse
Hoses failed to clean unwashed masses so out come gasses
Pop eyes then spread lies leave bricks and break glass
Cops terrorize in front of your eyes you wait till resistance dies
Ropes noosed up to lynch ******* these days with some its okay
Draggin ******* across lots to some its no loss well okay
Spics taken by ice from jobsites its alright nod and say, okay
No suprise your homes alight drag your *** outside, okay
Self defense killin patriot americans its just justice so its okay
Your scared of us, well we're scared of the US all there is to say

Punks who don't respect the past
Goths sitting in the back of the class
Gangsters burning up fast
**** of society
Scared of the sight of we
Be dead in a week
Left behind
Rockabillys dead behind the shed
Hippys fed full of lead
Yippys buried in sand
No living in this land
Till you follow the man
Chase freedom if you can

I live among many broken men
All of us with dented hearts of tin
Born to work and now work begins
Born separate now make the ends meet
I live among many broken men
Long gone rented out our hearts of tin
Born from labor now the labor never ends
Born desperate men of flesh men of meat

Never will the skin mend
Souls often stolen by the sin
Alcohol takes us all in the end
Spoken foul beaten brow ignorant men
Scars of hard work don't mend
Holes where darkness bleeds in
Tramadol pain killers quicken the end
Broken scowl Silent howl itinerant men

Maybe the real treasure was the money we made along the way

Methods of my confessions
Rhymes and simple expressions

They say they love me but I can't believe a word
The words choke around my neck like a cord
And this time it holds tight
Death it embraces me tight
Feels nice like rest after a long night


I see myself splattered on every wall
Visions of a body hanging till the fall
Don't wanna die
Didn't wanna be born
So I practice a necktie
Wonder when it'll be worn