"Would you stop hurting yourself?"

That was me before

But now I'm changed


I quit trying to be nice
I quit stop hurting myself
I quit holding my anger
I quit hiding myself
I quit everything I've been holding.

Pretend like nothing will happen

Slit a scar through my throat

Bang my head to a wall

Knowing it will hurt.

I'm tired of holding it.

The same nightmare repeating itself again and again.
Me being ignored over and over.

Let's jump into a horror of flames
Let us cut our hands of and drink the blood
Let me say hello to a group of murderers.

knowing it will hurt

No one can stop me now!
You can't do it!
I'll go wild!
See me!

Watch me you foolish small girl
See what you did to me
Small ignorant girl

See?





*Look at what you did to me now

Say it!

What's my name

Say it!

Loud and clear

Say it!

Like you mean it

"Happy happy happy!"



*Now be like that.

Scrolling through poetries

Finding myself in "messages"

"You seem so happy. How are you so happy all the time? Why are you so happy though?"

Someone had said to me.

Well, to be honest I don't really know how I am happy. I'm not even sure if I am.

I don't know why I always grin like a fool in front of my friends.

How I'm so positive. How I laugh and smile at everything.

Because....... I guess.......


It feels good.

To laugh rather than cry

To smile rather than frown.

To be happy when you know something isn't.

It feels comfortable.

Just smile at everything!

Be happy.

It feels like cuddling with blankets on a freezing winter. Cookies beside you.... warmth filling your body....

Like heaven..


I just smile.



Can you do me a favor....


And just smile.....

Smile....



Like nothing matters..... smile.....





Let's be happy, guys. : )

I look deep into the woods

"Play with me!"

Dumb looking kid waves at me.

Then she kicks me over and rolls on me and starts punching. Biting.

I run. "Who was that"

I search for myself. My real self.

I see tears               from a girl

"These isn't fair" what?

Depression. Got no time for that.

I run.

I see a fading image of a girl. This time she's with many friends.

When she reaches her hand to them- when it almost touches, they disappear. Every single one.

She cries.        I run.

Oh. Who's that?

Me? That foolish kid?

With crowds of friends?

Best friends?

Is she dumb? Doesn't she know that they will once go away?

Especially.... she knows.... that friend......... the one she liked so much, almost loved.......

Will leave her.... like told before.....


Foolish! Foolish! Idiot! What are you doing there!

What am I doing? I'm suppose to be looking for myself!

Oh.



Ohhhhhhhh.....






That's me.

I have to work

on my science project.

But is not!

Typing a poem!

Haha!

As wide open as the sea
as resonant as the waves
splashing on the beach.
For a moment or so I was
pondering so full as the sea
what has it left to tally
with as empty as the the beach?

I am a young girl

Who just wants attention.

Is that bad?

All I want is a person- I don't care who

A person that will wait for me

That will care for me

That will wait for my responses to them

Will talk to me

Will be glad for me

Will actually notice me

I don't care if it's one of you

Why wouldn't someone, anyone random

Will care for me like I did to them?

Am I like a piece of lint that stays in their life for a second and pasts by?

I want to be important.

Even my talents I use to prove myself

Even my talents are failing me.

What do I do now?....

Somebody pleas help me.... SOS...

Please.. anybody.... read this.....

Help me....

Give me a warm hug...

Give me warm words.....

Give me hope and love like I did to others.....

8 poems a day.

That's a lot. Now 9 poems.

Wait- that's a haiku!