I wish I'd stop freaking out.

I am an average girl.
Ms. "Almost Exceptional,"
One point short,
Just barely missed the cut,
Poor girl.

I give all of my heart,
Yet not enough.
I find almost the perfect fit,
But not quite...
Right.

I am the optimistic pessimist.
The dream-filled cynic.
The cautious adventurer.
I fear the future and the potential
Of hope.

I cling to my desire for love
I wallow in my history of misery.
I want to be by myself
But not alone.
Adored, known,

And unabandoned.

A whirl of a wind
Memories start to spin
A reel of time
A piece missing
It might be a chunk of my brain
Maybe it was fried or never there
Maybe that piece is you
My energy is pulling me in a direction I can't go
Grabbing and stretching every bit of my existence
The resistance alone is exhausting
Consumed by daydreams
Lost in thought
Constantly
Trying
Tiring
Millions of times everyday I've attempted to disband  
The very fulcrum that moves the winding wheel
That ticks and ticks in your name
I'm absolutely in love with it
Even though it's driving me insane

Most nights I lie awake drifting
Thinking of all those moments we shared
I wrote you a letter once
You came and we danced like lovers
Everything was as it was meant to be
As time has quickly passed
I find myself still yearning
For your voice and touch
So mellifluous so true and caring
Yet I'm here alone, wasting away
Simply dreaming of the days
When we lit the sky on fire
And breathed one breath
In the depths of the woods