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Losing a friend is like mourning a loved one.
Your heart breaks,
You can't spend more than a couple hours without thinking about them.
Then you see a picture, you have a memory, or you see them,
And it all comes rushing back.
The good, the bad.
Everything you want to remember and everything you don't.
But now you don't want to remember it at all.
You just want it all to go away,
For the memories to subside,
To be lucky enough to never see them around,
To never have them pass your mind.
Meanwhile, you're losing your mind.
You can't stop thinking about them or dreaming about them.
You can't suppress the memories because they were just too perfect.
Now you're left to wonder,
Wonder why they left,
Wonder what you've done.
But all you have left is a heartbreak that can't be undone.
peck, peck, peck
on my face
on my neck

peck, peck, peck
at my feet
at my heart

feathers all around
crowding my vision
filling my lungs

drowning, crowded
by birds
beasts of the sky

pulling in
crouching to the ground
reaching my lowest means

then quiet
quiet
quiet

quiet as dark as the crowded noise
the crows
that have overwhelmed me

   -   -   -

softly, quietly
i am approached
i lift up my head

to be greeted
by a sole, gentle
dove ~
A piece for a class.
does it make you primed
does it make you cry
does it make you feel inside
and the corpses rise

do you want to believe
cant you see the tide
filled with doubts seed
does it make you lie

does it make you cringe
can you ever confide
is it time to infringe
whats truth and a lie

for I don't know
what reality is
what to believe
time and space it self
if nothing else

does it make you primed
did I make you bleed
does it make you feel inside
do you want to beilve
cant you see the tide
don't cover your eyes
Let me post a selfie
how's my hair
makeup
angle
filter
how do I look
did I get likes yet?
Let me post a status
one about how much I love my besties
another on how I learned a new lesson
now here's a photo of my breakfast
I have to comment
like
poke
post new updates
every day
becuase that's just what you do nowadays,
that's just how it goes
because we're all so afraid
if we don't keep posting
if we don't get those likes
and invites
and pokes
and fill up our messages
and notifications,
that we're going to be forgotten.
That if we don't solidify our presence
on social media
then we don't have a presence at all.
We spend so much time
trying to make other people
think we exist,
that we never end up existing at all,
not really.
We don't need all these people
and confirmations
to tell us we exist.
we already do.
If only it weren't so easy to forget that.
I'm a slave to my status.
I hear you saying
The games that they're playing
Are meant for the
Talented few.


But the power invested
In all of the best, is
The same one that rests
Within you.
Five months with you
Was like staring at the same stars everyday but still being amazed by how they shined against the same black night sky.
The first time we kissed,
You apologized for getting a *****.
We made out for three hours like ***** teenagers afraid to go further.
Ever since that first kiss, I vanished inside you.
I was drowning in your kiss.
And every time your lips grazed mine after that night,
i never wanted to come up for air.
You suffocated me with every breath.
It was as if our lips were designed to move this way together.
A few weeks later, you began to unpack your soul,
Always leaving it at home.
This beautiful body was walking around filled with bones,
But still managed to be
Completely hollow.
Ghost like.
My friend one day said, “Katie, you talk about him as if he has already died”.
Everyday you were more machine then man.
Just going through the motions like you will always be living like this.
We ended up developing this normal routine with limited speaking.
Every night was predictable but that was okay with me.
Because even after life escaped you,
Your silky brown eyes still shimmered like a starry night.
Your hands still felt as if there was blood running through them.
Your body was able to create a beautiful rhythm that still damages me every time somebody tries to mimic it.
There isn't another pair of eyes that can pry yours from my brain.
And even though you are practically the walking dead the most I ever felt alive was when your body was next to mine-
Lying still. Slowly breathing.
The nights I am at my worse I still feel waves of you running through me,
Those nights I mistake my pillow for your chest;
Both without a heartbeat.
Those are the moments I wish you would clench me,
Freeze the world for a bit longer.
But ever since you left
The world has been spiraling out of control,
My word ***** has been spilling on to you
And I can't control it.
I let go of myself when you were here
Because you held the reins.
And you still do.
You and I were my favorite time.
And I'm sorry you buried yourself this way;
But please remember that I love you.
As a person. As a friend.
As much as someone can love a ghost.
When she was born
Her relatives spat on the ground,
Called her mother a witch
And said "The only thing she's good for is dowry".

By 6 years old
She understood what being a girl meant;
Be still and quiet
Your opinion is irrelevant .

At 11 she watched her brothers go to school
As she sat in the kitchen,
Doing 'the work of a woman',
With tears of longing streaming down her face.

At 17, she slept with a man who was 67
Living with the cruel hand she'd been dealt;
How did she raise 2 children
When she was still a child herself?

At 35, no longer a child bride
She was replaced,
With a girl that had not
Even come of age.

She held the young woman
And dried her tears.
She understood her sorrow
She had felt it for years.

But this was her destiny,
Her role from birth.
To be the silent weeper,
The cleaner, the mother,
The lover; who would never know Love.

At 65 she's died,
Buried next to a man she never even knew.
Not a single male cries,
Her funeral attended by few.

So why the abuse?
Why so much pain?
Why raise such a brave soul in vain?

One rebellious voice cries,
With tears streaming down her face
"If only she were male!"
She looks to me and says

"You wish to know,
why she could have had no joy?
The answer is simple
They wanted a boy"
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