My identity is
both water
and oil


                    It does not stick


Sometimes if i pour it in a bottle and shake really well,
for a few moments
I pretend that the SMALLER i get
oli bubbles to be,
the more blended it looks

I shake and I shake
But separation always comes back

Days have melted into nights
Nights into nothingness
Nothingness into unlimited infinities
Infinities shift to possibilities
Possibilities give birth to chances I never seem to take
Chances transform to regrets
Regrets end up with nosebleeds.
What I'm trying to say is that
I wonder a lot
And it appears that it has often led me off of the road
I found beauty but I also found a place where Color goes to die.

I've dug tunnels on my face

Carved them with the salt trails of tears I wept

I moarned the death of who I used to be and since I numbed the pain people call me Heartless.

Been wearing black more often than I wish to admit
 Even though sometimes I crave rainbow socks ; my nails painted red.

My bipolar
Plays dress up
And I am the model

My bipolar loves me
Until I feel stress and anxiety
Crawling under my skin
And my heart hurts
I feel it getting old and tired

Mania leaves me empty in a black hole that turns out to be my bed
 I sink
And there is nothing I can do
But wait for mania to come back

They say that out of all of zodiac
Gemini's are most likely to be depressed and anxious
I was born on 28th of May

My eyelids seem
to be the strongest part of me.
When the rest of my body
falls
into the ocean
of blankets they
float open upon the white water
atop
the waves of sleep.
This is when you come back.
In this mattress I am a piece
of clay and I can still feel the deep indentations of where your fingers
wrapped themselves like Ivy around my hips.
Hips, that stuck out like white flags of surrender and
fell to the ground in a straight line.
I can still hear
you.
I am a broken record,
and your whispers are the only track that plays at this hour.
“You are fat”
“Look at how flat you are Emma, no boy will ever look at you.”
“You are ugly.”
These are the nights when I can
feel the spiderwebs your words wrapped around my ribs and
listen to the way my heart beats constricted
in its cage, your hand still clenched around it.
Can’t you see me bleeding?
Safety lies
beneath my eyelids but you pull them open
I can feel
your icy touch behind my eyes as I stare
coldly at the ceiling.
you demand to be heard.
Did you mean to put your words
in my pocket when you reached in to steal the sleep that was nestled there like crumpled dollar bills?
Do you realize that you stayed with me?
Can you take your stolen midnight hours back and place them on your pillowcase?
Will your eyelids close?
Or can you still hear my cries of protest as your soundtrack plays into the night?
I don't understand?
Did you think it wouldn't hurt me?
Or did you want to live forever,so you put your
fingerprints where you knew they wouldn't fade.