i can keep myself together,
really well,
until i'm asked if i'm okay.
and please believe me when i say:
i don't mean to be destructive,
i don't mean to be weak and let my
mascara run while i fall apart,
i don't mean to scream at you to stop
when you stretch your arms out
to comfort me and to kiss me,
but i've been avoiding asking myself
that question, because i know
i'm not okay.
im just here in hopes that everything will sort've come together,
even if it does just keep getting worse.

I'm learning how to find the stars in my own eyes.

My best poem'll be my suicide note
the very last thing I ever wrote
a goodbye to those who don't even care
but those I love, because life's unfair.
But this ain't it it's not good enough
but I swear one day I write the right stuff
and it'll be goodbye to the whole world
and so comes the darkness, black wings unfurled

Youre nothing sick and sad
Eyes dark as old blood
Skin pale and cracked
Breath of vomite and bile
a voice that makes ears bleed
Skin and bones is all you are
Disgusting and vile
Others may not see it
I know its true
Remember when I loved you