I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

There’s nothing left worth fighting for,
Lower your ****** fists,
Scraped and scratched over nothing but a thought,

Admit it’s all for nothing
Just let it go,
JUST BREATHE.

But you still choke,
Nothing but air fills your throat and lungs,
The air slowly piles out and your lung collapses,
Your heart is the next to follow,

Crushed,
Beaten,
Empty,

You think you’re close to the end,
To winning,
To letting it all go,

But as your eyes pan up,
You see the brick wall in front of you,
Not a single chip in it.
done.

no one knows
Of the demons that plague your mind
Taking a strong grasp over you every day
Stripping you of your happiness and using it to simply grow stronger.

No one knows
that you hide behind a smile,
a normalized sense of humor that just screams
“Everything is OK, I’m OK”.

No One knows
that you’ve lost who you are and
the search to find him is like searching for a fish in an ever-expanding ocean.
You don’t want to be yourself,
You want to be changed, someone else.
You want to beat yourself,
You want to be beaten, bruised,
to prove for once you’re not weak,  
because that’s all the demons scream in your head.
“You’re Not Good Enough”

No One Knows
All you want is a way out,
A way to escape this labyrinth,
But the pain from searching for a way out only gets worse
With each passing day.
And as you search, the demons chase you down,
You yell at them, “Just Let Me Be Happy”, and they say back: “but,
you created us.”

NO ONE KNOWS,
NO ONE ******* KNOWS.
because they can’t.

Who decides what’s right and what’s wrong?
How do we distinguish what to do in a tough situation?
Morality?
Logic?
Heart?
Brain?

Overwhelmed as our brain floods with water,
Mixing the black and white
Into a gray,
We can’t find the answer
Because there simply is no answer.

Everything is just gray.

We blindly choose,
Hoping for the best,
But little to our knowledge,
Based of this choice
A ripple begins,
And slowly spreads through the pond of our life,

Simply growing larger
And larger
Spreading further
And further,
An unstoppable force,
Continually altering,
more and more

Until the whole pond becomes
Gray.

Hop in,
Let’s go,
Get me out.
Let’s get away.

We zone and gas it,
The time slips by like water down a drain,
Loud silence fills the empty air at times,
Followed by off-key shouts along with the current song,

We all just need a way out,
A temporary place to hide,
We go not to be alone,
But to be
Alone Together.

Emptiness,
Numbness,
Loneliness,

A wave of heat rushes through your heart,
Like electricity through a power surge.
It grabs ahold of your body,
Like a demon possessing your being

Heart pounds,
Harder and harder,
Louder and louder,
Faster and faster,

You’re desperate,
Searching for a way to rid yourself of this feeling,
Anything for a way out.

What did you do that was so wrong?
Why are you so forgiving when it is not reciprocated?

The heat begins scorching your heart,
You feel the aching pain and it overpowers you
You grow darker and darker,
The heat is so powerful it leaves permanent burn marks,
It’s too much to handle,
The darkness must be stopped it before it takes full control.

You finally give in:
I’m Sorry

Some of us dream, simply for rest
Others dream for an escape.

An escape from reality:
Our fears,
Our stresses,
Our problems.

A way out, always accessible, always helpful.

Until that from which you are escaping is so heavy,
It follows you.
In reality, and in your dream world.

Where do you escape to then?
You’re trapped.
Where do you run,
When you no longer have anywhere to run.

Constantly tormented,
A dark shadow following your every footstep.
So powerful, it is still right behind you in your dreams.

That is when our minds begin to wither.
We depress and submiss
There is nowhere left to hide from these demons.
We are left with one option:
To Fight.