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The world may be dim
But the sun shines bright on you
My beacon of light
its been so long
since i got to hold you
but i still cant seem to get you off my mind
its taking me so long just to say so long
 Jul 2018 Brayden Allen
Blake
He had his tongue in my mouth
I was new to this and went along with it
He layed me down
I thought about my classmate in the front seat
He moved his hands up too high
I didn’t want to cause any drama
He put his hands under my shirt
I silently tried to push them away
He was stronger than me
I kept pushing his hands away
He felt me up anyways
I faked like I didn’t mind, while I smiled, tried to gently push him away,
He stopped and said “please”
I was silent
At one point he also tried to put his hand down my jeans
I pushed back harder than I’d done the first time.
The classmate in the front took a video
I looked like I was enjoying myself
I wasn’t
My friends saw it
I felt sick
People got mad at me for denying that I enjoyed it
I wanted to cry
My best friend didn’t believe me when I told him I was violated
I remembered when he said he’d protect me

Why didn’t you say no?
I was in shock
Why didn’t you get out of the car?
He was on top of me
He said “please” why didn’t you say No?
I was scared of making him mad.
Why didn’t you tell anyone?
I didn’t want them to know
Why didn’t you press charges?
I just wanted the whole thing to go away
Why did you pretend you were enjoying it if you weren’t?
I was scared, in shock, I wasn’t thinking clearly, maybe I thought it was safer than him doing it by force.

Why can’-
I don’t need to answer your questions
I was violated
I don’t care if you agree or not
Please
Stop making me relive it
 Jul 2016 Brayden Allen
Delilah
I thought I saw the sun through the clouds I thought all the rain and sadness was over I thought I could live life full again I thought it was over but it'll never be over and there will always be clouds somewhere
Addiction is strange
Years of absence
But seconds to crack.

S u I c I d E
Crosses my mind from time to time
One pill here
One pill there
Only give myself a little scare

No more calories
No more food
Dainty wrists must be good
**** the crying over sliced bread
Just don't eat anything instead

Years of sanity
And a small relapse later
Here I am
The biggest stranger
Manic depression is really taking over my life.
A lot of things are strange and unnatural to me. Things that I am often used to are becoming my enemy which makes no sense. I hopefully will start to feel more positive and be able to write poems on a more positive note. It feels good to be back after 2 years.
 Jul 2016 Brayden Allen
Xyns
opium
 Jul 2016 Brayden Allen
Xyns
She'd walk but
She stumbles

She'd sing but
She mumbles

Her whole life
Just crumbles
*And she lets it die
The love you keep inside
Is what makes you survive
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