Lexi Fields: Favorites

2d Lexi Fields

Kalliope

I'd keep the walls down but
Everytime I let hope remove the bricks
I take arrows to my chest.

I think it might be best
To keep the concrete high
And nurse my wounds in private this time.

My fingers are calloused
My skin is burned
My thoughts now are malice
From the patterns I've learned

#thoughts #trauma #short

2d Lexi Fields

CSA

2d Lexi Fields

V

CSA

A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort.

To help raise awarness toward something I personally went through enough to cause me to develop and struggle in such horrible and confusing ways.
CSA (Childhood ****** Abuse) is one of many worldwide issues that I am sick of hearing and seeing happen and hope more people can do more to help and hopefully change the world for those who struggle with fear, pain, depression, PTSD, anger and having been silenced and powerless when they should have had their wings and voices to fly.

This is for those who understand this and have survived what no child ever should have to remember.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST OR THE PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU.
<3

#csa #abuse #trauma #childhood #awarness #mentalillness #ptsd

2d Lexi Fields

K.

2d Lexi Fields

Immortality

K.

I know,
I'm not good,
No need to point it out.

Tears in eyes,
waiting to fall,
lump in my throat,
trembling hands,
and an insulated, aching heart.

"Don't cry",
"You're strong",
"We'll be the best too"
the minds says,
facing the quiet mirror,
having tear-edge eyes.

I know,
I'm not good,
No need to mock.

My younger sister is an all-rounder. Beauty, intelligent, A++ student, brain, good behaviour, sense of humour, communication, etc. which I am fail at.
I am just a ugly stupid girl having high temper, whom most people dislike.
Does that affect me? Maybe................or maybe not.
She doesn't to point that out, indirectly sarcastically. I know she is the best among out and childish too but I have feeling too, even though I just shrug them off. She may say that for fun, to lighten the mood but still.................... She is a lot childish innocent cute too, but still.................... don't say that please. Please.

Oct 2022 Lexi Fields

Robbed

Oct 2022 Lexi Fields

Adriana Rose

Robbed

I don’t speak.
It’s easier that way.
Not because I’m not brave,
Or have nothing to say.
But because my tongue was cut out
By you know who,
The day he locked the door
To my bedroom.

#woman #strong #trauma #sadness #healing #feminine

Oct 2019 Lexi Fields

i’ve barely slept

Oct 2019 Lexi Fields

AJ

i’ve barely slept

i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
a mix that has kept me alive for far too long.
i’ve barely slept,
i want you to kiss me until our lips are bruised and touch me hard enough that traces of your fingertips can still be seen on my skin.
i’ve barely slept,
i miss the feeling of someone’s mouth on my neck,
the feeling of gentle kisses starting at my collarbone and falling lower and lower and lower.
i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
when what i really need is to find my relief in you.

i think i found my relief in you

Feb 2019 Lexi Fields

Dream

Feb 2019 Lexi Fields

mars

Dream

I keep having dreams
of when we were kids,
but we were never kids.

#****** #abuse #csa #survivor #ptsd #trauma #nightmare #dream

Feb 2019 Lexi Fields

csa.

Feb 2019 Lexi Fields

ari

csa.

it's been awhile since i drifted backwards
when you manifest again, like you always do
i feel your calloused fingers stretching, like spider legs
dangling in the back of my throat

my therapist said that it was a form of conditioning.

in 7th grade, we learned about oral ***.
sometimes, a man would fit himself into a girl's mouth
filling her and filling her and only stopping
when he was satisfied
the teacher stopped teaching in the middle of the lesson, eyes shining with apathy
"why are you crying?"
everyone looked at me.
everyone always looks.

you pulled my hair so roughly
i was only a little kid
i was only a little kid

i didn't even gag.
you tasted like cigarettes.

i wish i could go back to therapy.

#csa #trauma