I'm waiting
For the day to pass where I don't cry
Or the night for that matter
For you to come back and say you are sorry and that you made a huge mistake
I'm waiting for the pain to stop
Why did you think it had to be like this?
I'm waiting for the urge to message you all of this to go away
For the day I won't feel like an idiot
Or the day my heart will stop yearning for you
Or the day you will admit you are hurting just the same
I'm waiting... And I should probably stop.

My niece asked about you yesterday,
she said she liked you.
I said, " I like him too, but we're just friends."
That was a lie, but sometimes it is okay to pretend,
when something is too complicated for a child to comprehend.
I do hope, however, I never have to lie like that again.
Because as the words left my lips
I remembered how achingly I missed
you, my best friend.

When you have those mornings
when you wake up and
you can't
love yourself,

I will love you.

When you have those afternoons where you cannot
hold
yourself
together,

I will hold you.

And when you have those nights where your thoughts take over
and they won't
go
away,
I will stay with you 'till the morning

And I
will
love you
all
over
again.

I feel like I am losing you.

Perhaps you've taken another form of yourself,
Or you have always been this way...

And if you have, I painfully regret not noticing it before.
Unless I did see this, but I ignored the truths in your past's pattern.

Either way, I feel like I am losing you.
And I cannot do anything but
Watch.

We met under the night sky.
With bitterness layered in the breeze,
Yet with that came honest intentions and curiosity.
And we played under the stars, tracing out unsaid promises into each other's skin...
Saying things to each other
as if the
morning wasn't going
to come.

But the morning did come,
And you were still there.
The sun rose and shone on my flaws,
And you were still there.

If I am only a chapter in your story book...

I am the height of the adventure.
I may not be the light at the end of the tunnel,
But I am rising tension with the quotes that you wish you wrote,
And the kind of love that you'll find on the lips and fingertips of every character,
but won't be able to find in the real world.

Perhaps you're in love with fiction.

Perhaps that's what I am.

Grief on top of grief... Ill never forget these passings. You gave up on me, he never did. He showed me unconditional love, you showed me what isn't. Every morning I hurt because things will never be the same. Both of you are gone. He will never return. If you do, you will be dead in my eyes as he is, which is maybe what you wanted. Selflessness and selfishness hit me hard each day that passes. Forgive, but I'll never forget.