She writes down:
Her thoughts
Her Memories
Her Experiences

Sips on some strong alcohol
Because it makes her forget
*Every negative moment she encountered
And there comes a point where
She starts thinking about her life

Waking up next to empty bottles
With more regrets
So she grabs another one
To start her day

I think
therefore
I am single

I want to hold you.
I want our breathing to synchronize and our hearts to beat in the same rhythm while our eyes stay locked and the only thing running through our minds is love.
I want to squeeze your hand and twine our fingers together and feel your pulse when our wrists touch.

I want to show you the house I grew up in and introduce you to my family.
I want you to step foot in that apartment and touch the walls and understand why I can call it home.
I want to take you to my backyard and hear your laughter fill the air while my dogs cover you in kisses because, ****, you're something special.

I want to visit your hometown and learn of everything that means something to you.
I want to meet your brother and thank him for holding onto someone so amazing.
I want to  hear the confidence in your voice when you introduce us to your family and press my lips to your forehead so you know how proud I am of your bravery.

I want to explore the world with you and create memories only we can share.
I want to wake up every morning with your breath on my skin and stroke your hair while I think of how lucky I am.

I want you.

Un-fast rhythms and
low-lit lights,
every-
body
comes to e s c a p e
their low-
          lit
          lives.
Men  
who
have
seen
life
    ­  Fifty
    or
seventy times over

And me,
                  I
sit
  amongst the
men
who have seen life
50
or
Seventy times over.

"It's worth a shot."
and that's what we all thought.

There's trouble in paradise.
There always has been this dark, and misty gloom strewn all over the place.
And we are just actors who are good enough at pretending *"all is well."

There's a war in my head,
and i'm losing