I start my morning with a cup of coffee,
worth 2 servings, but all meant for me.
Then I’d go to the bathroom,
capacious for 2, but occupied by one only.
Water overflowing the tub
And I, submerged in seclusion and suds.
I still had time to spare
so I waited till the clock striked ten,
and made my bed again.
King sized, vacant without his Queen.
Once done, I’d proceed with my daily routine.
I work from home,
For, I’m an artist you see.
So lonely, I paint women
for company.

So tell me dear iceberg,
how did you break a ship,
but melt at a man’s touch.

I ask if you’re okay
only to get an answer the next day.
Did I say something wrong?
What did I do?
Why the wait for just the truth?
I’ve let my walls down, just for you.
But I go to sleep wondering,
did you do the same for me too?

Am I writing for my passion,
or for the numbers and figures?
Do I write for the hidden emotions,
or anticipating for eulogized comments and opinions?

The thought of you lingers in my mind,
craving for your touch, your lips on mine.
Fingers dancing on my thighs.
Goosebumps upon my skin,
bruises on both my knees.
Your hands around my neck,
an experience I’ll never forget.
Keep my arms pinned, and kiss my every inch,
For darling, you’re my all time favorite sin.

Nimble fingers upon sharp corners,
she'd fold herself into whatever she desired.
A paper plane for the freedom craved.
A paper boat, always staying afloat.
Behind every crease and every fold,
hid memories and stories untold.
Unfolding and refolding,
the smaller and more delicate she seems to be.
Creases become wrinkles,
sharp corners, dog-eared.
I haven't seen her since then,
but I heard she remained a paper crane.
The symbol of hope and peace,
I hope she finally found serenity.

Why do we keep holding on,
even though we're already falling?

You deserve to be loved gently
But I’m a tough lover darling.
You deserve to be loved gently,
Like the ripples of the sea
Caressing the sand with its fingertips.
I am the billowing waves and hurricanes,
Crashing against the rocks over and over again.
You deserve warmth,
Like the soft crackles of a fireplace.
I am the frost upon your face,
The icicle dangling on the tip of your nose,
The chills creeping through your clothes.
You deserve comfort,
Like a mother’s lie and chicken soup.
I unveil haunting dark truths,
For, I am but a liar.
Therefore, I cannot provide you with the things you desire,
But I know you’ll replace me with another.

Don’t pluck me.
Don’t stomp on me.
For, I’m meant to be loved from afar
Not stuffed into a jar.
Water me and watch me bloom instead.
Greet me when you wake up and before you go to bed.
Talk to me when you’re feeling blue
And I’ll be there to comfort you.
Talk to me about the things that make you happy,
And the things that keep you at ease.
Admire my beauty,
But don’t touch me, please.
I’m delicate to the touch,
And I’m afraid yours is a little too much.
I’m a flower, I’m not meant to be picked,
Only to be crushed, and die at your fingertips.
But if it is my time,
please let me go. Send me off so you can mourn.
Don’t try to save me, your attempts will be futile.
Don’t change my soil or water me anymore.
After all I’m merely a flower, I was never meant to be yours.

The sand crunched beneath my feet
As I made my way towards the cold sea,
Burning with a passionate desire
To immerse myself in its waters so clear.

A sea of cerulean blue engulfs me
But he leads me to serenity.
He untangles my thoughts, strand by strand,
And puts me to sleep right back again.

The moon glistens,
Its light seeping through my curtains,
Illuminating my room ever so gently.
I took in the beauty of simplicity,
And for that mere whimsical second,
I felt nothing but bliss and tranquility.
In the state of being solitary,
And out of sheer curiosity,
I clutched the key and unclasped my lock-box of memories.
Jet black wisps scrambled out,
They grapple me by the throat
and silence my shouts.
They claw at my hair and throttle me about.
With bare hands, they ripped my heart out
Mutilating it without mercy.
My arms-- restrained
I felt nothing but pain.
With their bare hands,
They returned the scraps of my heart and whatever remained
back into my hollow chest,
before leaving little kisses upon my forehead.
They wiped my teary eyes and waved me goodbyes.
They put me to bed and immediately fled.
They tucked me in, in extreme unbearable agony,
And left, in forms of bittersweet memories.

I’ve been used so much,
That the words “I love you”
Seem like nothing but lies.
Will you love me for me,
Or will you love me lust?
Will you crave me because you need me
Or because you need mere company?
I’m not unappreciative, I promise
But surely it wouldn’t hurt to be a little more wary
To hurt is inevitable,
And to be hurt is certainly unavoidable.
I’ve been hurt far too often,
That my heart isn’t broken
Instead it has been left in shatters.
Pieces too dangerous to be picked
And too small to be fixed.
To utter those three words seem so easy,
but to mean it is much harder than you'd think.

I'm afraid of I love yous
for, some of them turn into goodbyes too.

They said Love was blind,
but they never said she was stupid.

Stop breaking yourself
to fix others.
Surely it would be okay to be a little selfish
and prioritize your own feelings.

No matter how ebullient one seems to be
You never truly know what’s happening behind the screen.

The words of poetry
are like unsung rap lyrics.

You will always be enough
for the person who loves you.

Its just a scratch
Just blame the cat.
Its just a cut,
Just cover the mark.
Perhaps the use of accessories will do
Oh don't be humble, wear a few,
A dozen more than just one or two
Ignore the curious stares, their inquisitive glares,
Don't be so foolish to think they'd actually care.
Go home little girl, and lock your doors,
Rummage through your drawers and slit a couple more.
Do it quickly, the pain will be over in a jiffy.
There's no need to worry about mommy and daddy,
they're too busy filling their greedy tummies
Pathetic little girl, horizontal lines won't get the job done.
Try vertical ones.
Aim for your artery, can you feel it pulsing?
One little **** and it'll all be over in a wink.
Poor mommy and daddy, they're more concerned about the funeral bills

One more sip, I promise,
But my sips turned into gulps
And I started reaching for bottles instead of cups.
One more inhalation I said,
But a stick was no longer adequate,
So I began buying packs again.
One more slit, I begged,
But now my pale canvas is dyed crimson red
And my drawers, full of rusted blades.
To have grown and matured all alone.
To have come so far on my own,
But all of that seems to have been for naught.
The nights start getting sombre once more
and my mind begins its repetition of collecting cynical thoughts.
A night of relapse
Brings upon months of regrets.
And I’m pushed back to square one
All over again.

She’s a book.
No not a paperback, but a hardcover.
An inviting sight,
yet cold to the touch.
The scent of woody pages lingers,
the edges never ceasing
to cut your grazing finger
when you least expect it.
Her intricate words, unnecessarily bewildering
Her methaphorical phrases will have your head throbbing
as you so desperately search for their
meanings.
“Daedalian”, she would say,
“As in ingenious, intricate, and confusing”
You spend hours
figuring how to unravel her Delphic words.
The more you read the more complex she gets.
A thin line appears in the middle of her spine,
a crack,
from being opened and closed too much.
Her exhausted pages tattered and dog eared.
Your determination to solve her
was no match for her ambiguity.
She’s  a hardcover
you’ll never finish reading.

The cries of broken hearts
and melancholia,
pleasantly melodious to my ears.
I collect bottles of pathetically wasted tears
and use them as ink for my typewriter.
Hopping from window to window,
I come in the form of guilt,
and a tinge of wringing regret.
I will bring you to the highest level
of self condemnation
and keep you miserably awake,
gifted with the soul of an insomniac.
I’d even leave wisps of bittersweet memories
if I was feeling a little sympathetic
or particularly magnanimous.
Certainly, I cannot always be lenient,
after all,
being a sadist is part of the job description.

Alcohol stained lips,
yours of ***** and mine of liqour.
An oddly divine combination as our tongues danced together in synchronization.
Ragged breathes and tangled limbs,
sweet honey dripping, begging for a little taste.
Hands digging into my waist,
you, between my legs.
Slippery sweat soaked skin,
our pace getting faster and faster.
Fingernails sinking into your back
leaving red territorial lines.
My body twitches.
A final release.
I cry your name out in ecstasy,
as you cried out hers.
We lay in disquietude, our naked bodies exposed,
a one night stand I’ll forever remember,
a one night stand you’ll forget once sober.

Part of me wonders why I still care so deeply for you
You have such a beautiful mind
capable of so many brilliant things
but you’ve been tortured by the brutality of our society that you started becoming part of them
You find destruction within others
because you’ll always be in denial
of your very own ruination
You’re an exquisite exception
but you put yourself in such a position
that makes you just as ordinary and dull
I guess thats why I will always be
inexplicably attracted to you in some way.
Because you remind me of me.
Bits and pieces of a complicated puzzle waiting to be solved
to be seen as something more rather than just a mere encumbrance
You go for the mundane average
to make yourself feel superior but don’t you see?
With a mind like yours, you’re already superior in every way possible to humankind
because you’re capable of vehemence
concealed beneath your icy fingertips
freezing everyone with your piercing touch
as a warning sign.
Howbeit, its to protect your own heart rather than theirs.
A warning sign for yourself to shred every bit of humanity left in you
as your warmth starts peeking through.

A request to your masquerade
But it seems I’m the only one
invited to your parade
A physical mask hides your features,
an intangible one hides your demeanor
Compliments were exchanged,
A hand on my waist,
and another
interlocked in mine.
We danced together on the marble tiles,
twirling around in sync to the Waltz
It wasn’t long before I wondered
if what was said was truly meant at all.
We bid our farewells
as the night came to an end
The finale of the ball
brought up a question thereupon,
Had I fallen for you,
or the masquerade you had kept on?

Thunder & gales welcome me
as my tattered Converse soak up
the puddles on the streets
Pathetic fallacy,
the attribution of human emotions to nature.
My fears are released in the form of raucous thunders,
the kind that makes you stick your fingers into your ears
to calm the fast beating of your heart
My fury is released in the form of violent winds,
thrashing the trees treacherously
without mercy
However despite the hostile effects of my emotions
something deeper lies within
released in the form of droplets
tapping against your skin,
seeping into your clothes,
leaving you cold and shivering
Melancholy.

Hold my hand
as we wander through this cold city
Exploring thrift stores,
sipping the golden aqua of tea
Inhale the musty smell
of old books on shelves
and feel the different fabrics
beneath your fingertips
Admire the vintage cassette players
from the 1980s
and the imprint of Michael Jackson
on vinyl discs
Let’s go back in time
far from the present
I’ll go wherever these wrecked buildings take me
As long as it is you
that I bring

Death, the inevitable, the unpredictable
we know not when our time will come
but we are blessed with the knowledge that it is forthcoming
Thus we ought to be frugal with what we have.
When it is my time, I hope you won't come with a heavy heart
but instead with the  blithe memories I've left you with
I hope the things I've done for you will be enough to raise at least a fraction of your lips
into a smile, even if it lasts for a while.
I hope I won't be the reason behind your tears after my death
but instead the reason behind the twinkle in your eyes when you think of me during the times I was still alive
Yes, death is inevitable and unpredictable
and so is life,
for,they make the other half
But if it is the darkness we fear, it is life we're frightful of, not death.
How often has a blinding light been reported on the final breath?

The sand crunched beneath our feet
as we walked, arms linked
Our smiles and laughter shining brighter than your wedding ring
I was too caught up with my life,
I didn’t even know
until you said
“Let’s catch-up over coffee” a few weeks ago
We spoke of the memories,
for they’re the only thing that can never leave
Apologies were accepted. Misunderstandings were cleared.
Mistakes were forgiven as nostalgia returned.
We made lots of promises as little kids
but now we barely have time for anything
We used to long for adulthood
but now we’re wishing for the simplicity of childhood
Hugs were exchanged as the night came to an end
and goodbyes were said once again
“Parting is such a sweet sorrow that i shall say goodbye till it be morrow”
But I know it will take more than one tomorrow
before we meet again once more.

She loved art,
more so when she’s using red
Bright- filled with joie de vivre.
Dark- deep and sophisticated.
Soon her colour pencils will get blunt,
if not already broken
She reaches over to her drawer
full of sharpeners,
all either bladeless or with rusty metals
She takes a brand new one out of its packaging
and admired its beauty,
Its lustrous metal gleam
She unscrews it and began drawing red
on her pale, see-through canvas
The metal cold on her blue veins
unlike the warm red, now in a crimson shade.

They say opposites attract,
I disagree
They say there’s tons of fish in the sea
but i’ve got my eye only on one
A fish with special stripes
identical to mine.
A mind complicated enough
to understand my convolution
A heart abled to be sentimental
But i am forced to
push away my sense of affection,
For i value our friendship more than my own emotions
I hate losing people, i’ve lost many
But none i have begged from leaving
Perhaps you’ll be the first.
They say feelings are what makes up a human
But i guess i would have to ignore mine for you
just to keep you forever.
as a friend.