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Ash Aug 2019
Its been a while since I held my pen and wrote
It was a very difficult, long bumpy road
Nothing seems to matter anymore
Its a never ending cycle oh I’m sure
And the lie I keep telling my self
“Tomorrow is a better day”?
Oh what a waste of time when everything is gray.
  Mar 2019 Ash
kiran goswami
Poetry is not the blood you bleed,
Poetry is the bandaid you need.
Ash Mar 2019
I lost the ability to cry
Even when I shut my self away and try
I just can’t shed a single tear
why did you leave me with all this fear?
I thought you really loved me
Boy I was mistaken
I gave you all I could give
And now you say you just can’t forgive
In the world of your misory I was a prisoner
Suffocated me so long til I got addicted to it
And now you sat me free wondering
Have He ever loved me or I’m just fooling
My self to stay at peace.
Ash Nov 2018
It was one of those days, when you just sit there staring at the object in front of you.
While your mind is wandering: “What did I do to deserve to feel this way” you say to yourself.
How can everything go great and in one second it all falls apart.
Life has taught me so many things, life has taught me to never raise my hope, it was the only way to avoid getting hurt.
I was so good on my own I had everything figured out, thats what I at least thought.
Then you appeared out of the blue.
An angelic face is what I saw.
I worked so hard to build that wall, I had my self shut away.
Then you came with your sledgehammer and demolished my wall.
I desired you like you were the last man on earth.
I wanted you so bad that walking over sharp bricks didn’t bother a bit.
I was there facing you, holding your hand at last ... I never felt so alive.
Only then I did the biggest mistake of my life “I raised my hope again” cause with you I felt like I wanna face my fears.
“All good at last” is what I said while I was drowning in your features and having glimpses of our future.
I thought all is well, till you pushed me and started building your own wall.
I wrecked that wall, I walked over the sharp bricks again my legs started bleeding but I didn’t care, but you built it again and I wrecked it over & over again until my legs couldn’t function anymore.
I fell on my knees begged you to take those steps for me.
But the last image I have of you is your back getting further and further away.

“I took million of steps for you but you couldn’t take one step for me”

Now am here staring at this object and getting ready to build that wall again
I wish I didn’t have to.
Ash Nov 2017
I cant keep doing this
Whats the point of owning your heart when everything is a mess.
You say you love me but you make me feel like ****
Every time we have a talk you just ******* lose it
They say you cant harm a heart you love
Does that make you a liar?
Or you do what you want cause you know I wont lose my desire
You got used to me always coming back
cause the idea of losing you gave me a heart attack
But I promise you I wont always be around
My absence will fill your lungs till the day you drown
Ash Aug 2017
You need to grab my hand and tell me its okay
This place is so cruel And we don't have to stay
Take my worries away and make me believe
That there is beauty left in all the things That I don't see
Am trapped in a cage and you are my key
Come closer hunny, and please set me free
Stand by my side and never let me go
Teach me again how to pass every flow
I wanna feel with you the things I couldn't feel
Cause you are my savior, with you am a human being.
I want so badly to meet the guy that will rock my world upside down, that will make me feel a human again.
Ash Aug 2017
You never knew how much it hurts
You never knew how bad I felt
I told you i'll prove it
I'll smoke a cig everytime I feel depressed
Its been 3 weeks babe
I finished 5 packs on my own
100 deadly cigarettes
I hope I made my point
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