~                             I fell today
                        Skinned my knees
            Before the pain came great malaise
              To fall again after so many days
                   Of keeping things straight
                   And trying for better days
                               I fell again
                         Scraped my knees
        It took me back to where i don't want to be

~      
                                  We swim in the ocean
                                    We swim in the seas
                                   It takes me away from
                                 Where i don't want to be
                          No indecision or foolish posturing
                              We swim in different oceans
                           Yet wash up on the same beach
                       Foreigners travelers but truly the same
                         We are one energy living subjectively
                                           So do not hate
                                     You are me as i am he
                       And we are one swimming in many seas

.                                                                                                              .
                             Is it in this pocket or that one
                         A quick tap to tell me what I've got
                         It must be here i left it nowhere else
                   One more check and ill see where I've been
                            Not near my chair nor in the car
                   It must have fallen off the edge of the world
                                 It would have been nice
                              To have one more cigarette
                           Before the night closed in on me

.                                                                                                 .
                       Depression is strangling me
                          loneliness is killing me
                   The further i get the more i regret
                      And fear there is no way back
                     When there is no one to talk to
                                Nowhere to go
                      No one to love i feel so alone
                 Im so tired in body head and heart
                      No one to share myself with
                       Even when I'm with others
                             I feel so far away
                       We could be hand in hand
                And i fear i would still be galaxies away
                         No direction nor volition
                           Even though I'm alive
                              I feel dead inside

.                                                                               .
                           I am the forth
                                  The last
                             The unwanted
                               The mistake
           And all of my life it has seemed this way
          My brothers both where my fathers sons
               And i was always more like my mom
              Yet my sister is first in both their hearts
         Its like i had no chance right from the start
                Still I'm alive though no one cares
         They through me out to make room for her
              My sister was always horrible to me
               She left scars burned into my skin
            They never heal though i try to forgive
             My life it seem there's no point to live
   My flickering flame becomes dimmer and dimmer
                   the light fades from my eyes
                         As worlds turns grey
                  And i lay down to pass away.

.                                                                                                      .
                            I have no good words to say
                             Ive been lost and misused
                                Im as mad as a hatter
                       As the knife ran off with the spoon
                  The mouse it said they have gone to bed
                         To dream themselves together
               And the mouse skittered under the cupboard
                   Some would scream but i just chuckle
                               For the mouse is me
                             And what right you see
                       Do i have to want him to leave.

~  

                          Ranting and raving
                        Scrimping and saving
                  The words you hold in reserve
                        The breadth and width
                            Of words unsaid
                  Says more than you ever could
                           Waxing and waining
                           Your ever disdaining
                    The lines are writ on your face
                               I read between
                              to see to be seen
                The secrets you've kept in your heart
                     With the knowing and showing
              You can better understand who you are
                            The silence between
                              What you are now
                         And what you have been
                Is the silence that holds you from me.
                                              ~