you know it's become a
big ******* problem when
you close your eyes and
all you can see is
your every worry
fear and emotion
compressed
into a pool of
endless flowing,
tormenting thoughts.

these thoughts
of never being good enough,
of constant let down,
of being unlovable,
are slowly but
surely
killing
me

I asked the wizard
for a heart,
but he'd given them
all away.
He said, "I can order one,
But it won't arrive
for three-to-five
business days.

"A heart of gold,
a heart of coal,
a heart as cold as ice;
slightly damaged,
slightly used,
a heart as dead as night."

I said, "Anything
with a beat or two
should be all right."

It took one look to love her,
two years to tell her,
three tries to ask her
if she'd stay with him forever,
five lies to realize
the mistake that he had made,
six drinks and seven pills
to make her go away.

i.
there's something melancholy,
something tragically beautiful
about loving someone who doesn't love you

ii.
there is a certain sadness
of bleeding for someone who
wouldn't even shed a tear for you

iii.**
and there is a certain romance
to reaching out and falling to the floor
and falling for you and crying silent storms
of unexpected kisses and warm hugs.

Down the street
I will meet
The girl that changed everything
Taught me to love
Hate
And reciprocate
We don't talk much anymore
Talking is such a bore

I like to think
She thinks
About that loser
But if she did
Then he wouldn't be
Behind this screen
Talking so clean

I know it's over
I know Clover
And we only hung out
When I was sober
I don't regret it
I'm actually glad
Because then i was
stupid, mean, and bad

This isn't making light
Or making sense
But making love
Wasn't a penance
Making me who i am
Is a million and one thanks

So thank you
Whatever you're doing
If you're moving
Or soothing
Someone else at night
Because, for a while,
You were my only light

                                                          ­                  With Love,
                                                           ­                                       **E.H.

my aunt told me that the good thing about pain
is that you can remember it after it's gone,
but you can never recreate the feeling.
I think this is why I kept going back for more.